I'd agree with Vegangelica that the "you" and "blue" line is a bit cliche. Most 15 year olds (or really, anyone) I know don't generally use the word blue in their speech or normal writing, so the use of the word makes the rhyme seem very forced. For a first song, it has all the elements to be successful, but noone has a number one hit their first time out. just keep practicing....and keep posting!
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"Not remotely! Because iocaine comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you."
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