I respected and still respect my parents because I admire them and because they are proud of me; I feel guilty letting them down by doing things they disapprove of, at least while I lived under their care. My parents instilled in me a sense of morality and I did what I was told not because I was afraid of physical violence but because I knew my parents were the authority and there were other ways of punishing me that didn't involve violence. For everyone who hits their kids, what will you do in ten years when that kid is taller and stronger than you? If violence is the only thing making them respect you, what will happen when they can beat you?
When I was maybe 15 or 16 my parents and I had an argument which got so heated that I began making physical threats, and seeing as how I was the same height as my father, they could have had an impact if I'd gone through with it. But I saw my parents eyes looking at me with actual, serious fear, and have never felt more guilt and shame in my life.
|