Quote:
Originally Posted by AwwSugar
You would tell a baby that their beautiful body rules your life?
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^ Exactly. Pedophilic vibe much?
That said, I'm sure that wasn't your intention. However, if you're writing something to put a child to sleep...I wouldn't waste time putting it up here. See if it works; if it does, it has served it's purpose and if it doesn't then it's back to the drawing board. Constructive criticism won't help you either way.