Hello, People,
Since quite a few love songs are being posted right now in other people's threads, I decided to share one of mine that I finished a couple weeks ago. This song, "Twist," is one of a long line of songs I was inspired to write thanks to MB, which I never expected would be such a delightful source of inspiration when I joined!
Those of you who have read my previous posts may be happy to learn that the following is actually an optimistic song (well, about as optimistic as I can muster) rather than a scathing critique of human injustices and cruelty. Eh, even I have a romantic side.
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“
Twist” by Erica
His youth was rich in experience,
rich in experience but not wealth.
He had to work to pay for every life expense.
Didn’t own much more than his clothes and his health.
Couldn’t go to college, ‘cause he had to live.
You can’t pay tuition when you’re eating air.
He tried to make peace with having no alternative.
Tried to make himself believe he didn’t care...
about the deeds undone, the plans never begun,
dreams falling through the cracks
showing what your life lacks,
having little control over the unmet goal,
knowing what’s in store: always hoping for more.
He learned the hard way some won’t sacrifice
one goal to make another come true.
He’d loved a woman once, hoped they’d run through rice.
Now he missed the life they never knew due to...
her promises undone, her vows never begun,
dreams falling through the cracks
showing what your life lacks,
having little control over the wayward soul
seeing what’s in store and always wanting more.
Then one night he went out to eat,
gave his order to a stranger who smiled.
He thought, she’d be someone he’d like to meet.
She seemed as open as a child.
She saved twisty-ties from bags of breads,
wove them into colorful tapestries,
characters with twisty-tie ring heads,
and mobiles swaying in the breeze.
And she told him:
"These are the deeds I’ve done, little dreams I’ve begun.
I used to fall through the cracks of what my life lacks.
Then I changed my view: I see the old is new.
I never know what’s in store, but I don’t need more."
And as their months passed
he felt the urge to give her everything,
everything a friend could ever ask for,
but life and love aren’t all-encompassing
and sometimes you just can’t give anymore.
Yet she told him,
“The gift ungiven is still worth receiving,
like when you say you’d rather stay when you’re leaving.
I can’t figure you out, but I want to figure you in.
Just give me a sign and I’ll begin.”
He'd started out with so little,
didn’t know if he could offer it all again.
He wanted to meet her in the middle,
but he couldn’t say when
‘til one day she told him:
“I know you want the whole call, not just the ring,
still I made this twisty-tie ring for you.
I wish I could give you everything.
Please wear it if you want me to/too.”
His liquid courage solidified,
and he said, “I do.”
Ohhhh...
And the deed was done, their happy life begun.
No more falling through the cracks
showing what your life lacks.
Using what they could control, they reached their goal:
never knowing what’s in store, but not needing more.
Oh, the deed was done, their loving vows begun
to help mend the cracks ( <-- This line, Liz! 
)
of what the other’s life lacks,
making all they share a lifelong affair,
knowing what’s in store:
never wanting more,
never hoping for more,
never needing more.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicktarist
I personally would've found a metaphor that would be consistant through the entire song (for instance, I've got a song back in my thread that uses a train as a reference to progression and success). In reference to my criticism of PETA, I would certainly point out that they follow their ideology like lemmings, often forcing them off a cliff of sanity and into a sea of contradiction and deceit. I'd try to get to the very root of the problem and point out how impossible it is for people to (in general) admit that they are wrong. It takes allot (I know from expirience).
What you have though is absolutely perfect for the cause and doesn't require my input to be effective.
peace out,
-nick
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Hi, Nick,
Thanks for taking the time to answer my question and describe how you would have approached writing a song about PETA. I am now finding myself thinking about trying to make a song based on a metaphor that describes how hard it is to admit when one is wrong. I like that song topic idea: the strength and wisdom it takes for people to admit they are wrong.
--Erica