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Rainfall · 09-02-2009, 02:05 AM

['Attempt I' at using more descriptive language and focusing on a specific moment, as VeggieLover suggested.]

Whispered: (As midnight approaches I feel the hurt)
And so I stare out the window
Calmly at first, but all I know
Is there’s a rising thirst for anger.
I tense and my heart beats faster.

But I can’t succumb to anyone
So I stare out the window.
Hoping something envelopes me.
But all I see is red, through the trees

Sap runs down them like blood
The bark is all bite in the moonlight.
I laugh and cry, letting go would feel too right
I can’t stare anymore.

And so I close my eyes
Hoping to slip in the darkness
But all I see is pain.
My heartbeat stops
Eternal spinning in my head
What I’d give for just one drop
Of red.

09-02-2009, 02:05 AM	#16 (permalink)
Rainfall Not your best friend. Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Portland, Oregon Posts: 67	Blood Moon ['Attempt I' at using more descriptive language and focusing on a specific moment, as VeggieLover suggested.] Whispered: (As midnight approaches I feel the hurt) And so I stare out the window Calmly at first, but all I know Is there’s a rising thirst for anger. I tense and my heart beats faster. But I can’t succumb to anyone So I stare out the window. Hoping something envelopes me. But all I see is red, through the trees Sap runs down them like blood The bark is all bite in the moonlight. I laugh and cry, letting go would feel too right I can’t stare anymore. And so I close my eyes Hoping to slip in the darkness But all I see is pain. My heartbeat stops Eternal spinning in my head What I’d give for just one drop Of red. __________________ Rule #7 – Trust only when trusted. Last edited by Rainfall; 09-02-2009 at 05:21 PM.