Quote:
Originally Posted by Rainfall
After re-reading it for the fourth time, I got what you meant. When I read it before, the first time you said 'sitting there for a minute, maybe two,' made it sound like he had been sitting there with his eyes closed for a whole minute or something, but you meant since he had pulled up to the light. I still think you have all this 'suspense' built up, so you should eliminate as many lines as possible to run with that built up energy.
JMO
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I'll take a look at lines that could be dropped for added suspense. But yeah, I'm glad we've reached an understanding! And thanks for all the help bro! :D
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rickenbacker
I would like to set this to a bit of slow folky music and sing it with a Bob Dylan sneer, plus an electronic banjo set to eleven.
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You... you wanna make a movie, man?