Quote:
Originally Posted by asshat
"these are songs you guys look at my songs!!!" is back, so look at my songs yous guys...and be blunt.
I'll provide explanations if needed...you can pick one or too you feel needs explaining.
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He's fallen into a state of disrepair
He eats peanut butter and jelly
Made from apricots and pears
The only clothes of his own
Is his underwear,
They brought from home
Loafers, no laces
And on his face is a
Thousand yard stare
What did he do to be put
In this place?
What's with the
s*it eating grin on his face?
He's not going to talk,
Like hes done had a stroke
And all he does is smoke
And he pissed hiself
Christ, clean it up
No, he's not going home
Just leave him alone
To stare like a pussy
That isn't all there
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Shouting obscenities
For no particular reason
Someone had to learn something
He was trying to make a point
To who, I don't know
Whoever it was
Those pricks where taught
A lesson they soon forgot
The louder you shout
Makes it more legit
The more swears you use
Means it's serious s*it
____________________________________________
Absolute neutrality
Pertains to everything
I no longer have opinions
On anything
Don't ask me
Cause I don't give a F(ck
Don't ask me that
Cause I really don't care
I don't have the authority
To form an opinion
Doesn't concern me
Don't give a S)it
Could not give a care
Or take a f*ck
Or meaning
Considering that thing
You were talking
bout
doing
What?
_____________________________________________
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Hello again, "these are songs you guys look at my songs!!!"
The first poem seems to be about a person in an insane asylum, and struck me as sad because of the critical way in which the man is viewed, as if he were repellent. It included interesting details that appeal to me (the type of food, the loafers, the urination). They make the poem feel very solid and specific to me...very physical. The "obsenities" poem, I feel, describes how people sometimes seem to think (incorrectly) that the more swearwords they use, the more likely the listener is to be convinced of something. The final poem, "Neutality," is, I think, a criticism of how people can be indifferent and uninvolved in life around them. I thought that following up a poem about unnecessary swearing with a poem in which there are unnecessary swearwords (shi
t and f
uck) was amusing, as if the second poem is an example of the first.
Asshat, what I find especially interesting about these short works is the viewpoint of the speaker in them, which to me sometimes seems to be different than your own (the writer's). For example, your poem about the man soiling himself seems to show the viewer of the man feeling curiosity and some disgust, which may or may not be what *you* actually feel about this man (who I assume is imagined...or did you actually see someone like that?). The viewpoint of the "Disrepair" poem seems to be that of a worker in the facility, as well as some curious, uninvolved onlooker or visitor.
Similarly, I interpret the final poem ("Neutrality") as a condemnation of someone who has no opinions and can't be bothered to learn enough about what is outside of himself to form them. So, I assume you, as the author, actually have opinions and are writing as you might if you were a person who had none. I like the dissonance between the viewpoint presented in the poems and that which I assume the author has. I also like the ironic tone that I, at least, hear in some of the poems, such as when you write:
Quote:
The louder you shout
Makes it more legit
The more swears you use
Means it's serious shit
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Of course, maybe you *are* just writing your own thoughts and views directly in the poems! Do my interpretations of the poems seem very different from what you intended them to say?
--Veg