Schizotypic

Here are a couple questions to think over before I offer any advice:

• Can you control much outside yourself; other people, events, etc?
• If you don't see your part in things, even if they are small, how could you ever control yourself, your actions, how you respond?

I was only asking those to help you realize the point I'm about to make. Realizing the things you have done and your part in things is the only real control you have in this world, how could you control anything but your part?

What you are going through, to me, is a beautiful process of self discovery. Finding our own parts in our resentments, realizing that because there need to be two people for any tiff, that even those we believe had only wronged us, we had also had some wrong-doing in: that is the start of an entirely different ball game.

Remember the difference between guilt and shame. Guilt is feeling bad for what you have done, shame is feeling bad for who you are as a person. Us humans are all equals, it is a horizontal line and not a vertical line we sit on. Do not compare, and make sure never to let yourself be ashamed.. if that is what you're feeling.

In the end the most important thing to remember is very simple, but takes much time to fully accept: you are where you are. Most people reach a point like this, I have literally seen some do it at sixteen and others at seventy six- and there isn't a lick of comparison of the two in my mind. Each person here does their own thing on their own time, and it is OKAY. It really is. What you have done is what you have done, and thank the good she-forces of the universe (or whatever) for the past you had made, for it has led you here, to this beautiful process of self discovery.

Just be sure to make amends when it won't hurt anyone, try your best to keep your word and when ready change your actions, remember what you have control over and what you don't, and work toward being inheritly and deeply accepting of who you are and where you are- may love be with you as you trudge the road of happy destiny and congratulations on your look into the mirror... enjoy the intense dreams.

Hope I helped, Schizo.

See, now, way I look at it the OP's post made me think her future looked bright. Maybe you should be taking notes instead of criticizing, eh? Ever look in the mirror, pal? Harder then it sounds, takes balls too MoFo.