I like this song allot--it expresses my sentiments towards conflict. No truth except the truth of conflict right? lol. Anyways, I only have two critiques this time for you:
1. your a little too repetitive in the last few verses. I expect that you would keep the song somewhat simple, so you have to have some variation--even if that variation is just in the way you say the lines.
Quote:
And I’m watching in the stands,
thinking what sorrow is this
where people issue cruel commands –
thumbs down and the weaker one loses.
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and loses doesn't match well with 'this' --although that only depends upon how you say it. If you wish to keep loses, you have to say 'is this' like one word. I would actually like to hear this song (if you don't mind).
peace,
-nick