Quote:
Originally Posted by iron9567
i like this song it has alot of descriptive lines. I will say that the way you have the lines structured. It does makes it difficult to see how you would arrange music to it. I like it either way and would like to hear it in audio. So keep up the good work and keep cranking out the songs.
thanks
the iron man
|
Thanks, iron man, for reading the song. I structured it in three large sections, each ending with one of the final stanzas (within the section) being the "power trip" chorus. I don't know what it is called (a post-chorus), but the stanza with "common ground" in it is supposed to tie the story together by appearing early on, while the fighters are still alive, then later clinching the song at the end, when they are lying, dying, on the ground. I haven't recorded the song yet but hope to soon!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicktarist
I like this song allot--it expresses my sentiments towards conflict. No truth except the truth of conflict right? lol. Anyways, I only have two critiques this time for you:
1. your a little too repetitive in the last few verses. I expect that you would keep the song somewhat simple, so you have to have some variation--even if that variation is just in the way you say the lines.
and loses doesn't match well with 'this' --although that only depends upon how you say it. If you wish to keep loses, you have to say 'is this' like one word. I would actually like to hear this song (if you don't mind).
peace,
-nick
|
Hi nick,
Thanks, too, for reading and for the feedback. I do think the song (like most of mine) is probably too long. Once I have it recorded I'll be able to listen more impartially and decide better whether I should remove the repetition you note in the final stanzas. At least how I sing the words, the "this" and "loses" (to me) don't seem too mismatched because I emphasize the "is" and "es" parts of the words while singing them. Thanks for your comments! I hope all's well with you.
--Erica