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Old 02-19-2010, 09:27 PM   #2 (permalink)
t3hplatyz0rz
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: In the moment
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheLonelyKid View Post
Umm hi.
I got bored today and I decided to write a (very bad) song. This is my first attempt at song-writing, a concept that struck me as interesting. I'm open to any criticism, be brutal with me if you want, as you can see I don't think much of it :P.
As soon as you lost your respect for yourself, I lost my respect for you.
Confidence is the secret key. It is what separates amateurs from aces.
It is an ugly truth.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheLonelyKid View Post
(Intro)
Ohhh, oh oh oh,
Ohhh, oh oh oh,

(Verse 1)
You can't imagine what I'm going through,
All the things that happen when I think of you,
You make me lose my mind,
How did I make such a find?
I gotta escape this place,
All of these haunting memories, I gotta erase.
You talk about how bad you are, and then already you have something interesting. A hint of backstory.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheLonelyKid View Post
(Bridge)
When you kiss me (baby),
When you touch me (baby),
When you love me (baby),
Please dont leave me (baby).

(Chorus)
I'm in love with your touch,
Everything about you, I like it so much,
I look into your eyes,
And I'm dragged deeper into my demise.

(Verse 2)
I can't help going back to you,
Everything always feels new.
You make me feel so good,
Doing things I never knew I could.
How do you do it baby?
Working some kind of magic maybe?

(Bridge)
When you kiss me (baby),
When you touch me (baby),
When you love me (baby),
Please don't leave me (Baby).

(Chorus)
I'm in love with your touch,
Everything about you, I like it so much,
I look into your eyes,
And I'm dragged deeper into my demise.

(Repeat Chorus, Fading Out)
Why do you think that's bad? I mean, it's not some sort of uber-creative masterpiece, but not a whole lot of stuff is. Honestly, it's somewhat uncreative, but that's not nearly your biggest problem.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheLonelyKid View Post
I know it's pretty cheesy, but I'm not that imaginative. If you've made it this far without dying, thanks for wasting your time on me .
This is your biggest problem. Cheer up. Or I'll kill you before you can kill yourself.
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Quote:
I know all those girls you been messin around with i dont want your STD's. So boy quit with your chat i dont wanna talk about my cat, i dont wanna see your face, now leave.
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