I want to hear how this would sound.
I actually am a hopeless romantic, but this is a little corny for me in a different way.
The phrase "non-existent soul" is a little off to me.
I like the idea of "I want to slip beneath your skin, 'til I forget where I end and you begin," but I don't like the way it's worded at all. Either it's a little to blunt, or a little too graphic for me.
"I would be fine if you left me" is probably my favourite line here. It gave me the chills, but when I read the rest of the verse, I didn't feel it fit in quite the same. I think maybe I interpreted that line as more emotional than it was intended.
Sometimes, I'm not sure whether you mean for your songs to be completely serious, and it throws me off a bit, so I'm not sure how I should interpret and criticize your writing.
Overall, like I said, it's a bit corny for me.
But I do like love songs.
And I love love song that talk about not wanted to be separated from that person forever, no matter what happens.
Anyway, that's my rant for now.
I love when you mention me, it's so cute.
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