Music Banter - View Single Post - sweet death(song lyrics) my 1st entry
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Old 06-30-2010, 05:22 AM   #3 (permalink)
Guybrush
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Scabb Island
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This sort of stuff ain't my thang - it's a bit dark and teenagerish for me, but since I dropped by the thread I thought I'd give some constructive criticism.

I think the lyrics seem a bit contradictionary. It seems the person the lyrics are meant for can't do anything right. The singer-person wants to shut him or her out. It seems like the singer person has made some kind of decision that he or she ain't gonna take more crap from this person. The song is defensive in a way. Yet, in the refrain, it seems this person still has the power to break the singer-person's heart in the future and the singer person is still waiting for some genuine love.

I get this feeling of "get away from me you ****er!" and then in the refrain "I can't wait for you forever, I'd rather die!". Or "I want nothing from you - wait, yes I do!".

You know, contradiction. I'm thinking maybe it would work better if the singer-person who expresses the lyrics is not just defensive towards the other person in the verses. What about some reference to whatever it is that was right about their relationship at some point? It seems this person't love might be worth dying for, but we don't get to know why. You know, what's so good about this person or this love compared to something or someone else?
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