bloodymeg

SWEET DEATH

I
Don't hold my hand, you think its someone else's
Don't kiss my lips, you give it a better taste
Don't smile at me, its not shown in your eyes
Don't cry for me, your tears turns cold as ice

CHORUS:
Break my heart if you must
Slap my face rather than to ruin my trust
I have loved you to the brink of insanity
Death is sweeter than to wait for you till infinity

II
Don't look at me, your eyes tell all the lies
Don't whisper trough my ears, your words easily flies
Don't cherish me, your heart show no disguise
Don't pretend that you love me, you wilt my heart it dies

Chorus:
Break my heart if you must
Slap my face rather than to ruin my trust
I have loved you to the brink of insanity
Death is sweeter than to wait for you till infinity

Bridge:
End this suffering its been like a lifetime
End my life its been worthless trough all this time
I'll die in shame of loving you till death
I'll cry for you till i take my last breath

repeat chorus till fade

Sljslj

Good job, reminds me of Evanescence. I hope to see more from you in the future. =)

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Guybrush

This sort of stuff ain't my thang - it's a bit dark and teenagerish for me, but since I dropped by the thread I thought I'd give some constructive criticism.

I think the lyrics seem a bit contradictionary. It seems the person the lyrics are meant for can't do anything right. The singer-person wants to shut him or her out. It seems like the singer person has made some kind of decision that he or she ain't gonna take more crap from this person. The song is defensive in a way. Yet, in the refrain, it seems this person still has the power to break the singer-person's heart in the future and the singer person is still waiting for some genuine love.

I get this feeling of "get away from me you ****er!" and then in the refrain "I can't wait for you forever, I'd rather die!". Or "I want nothing from you - wait, yes I do!".

You know, contradiction. I'm thinking maybe it would work better if the singer-person who expresses the lyrics is not just defensive towards the other person in the verses. What about some reference to whatever it is that was right about their relationship at some point? It seems this person't love might be worth dying for, but we don't get to know why. You know, what's so good about this person or this love compared to something or someone else?

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Something Completely Different

wildmountainthyme

hi bloodymeg,
i quite like this, i like the emotional feel, to me it's just a little more intelligent than the usual un-requited rant. good post. keep it going.
wmt

CitlaliScarlett

I enjoyed reading this and in a way felt a strong connection to the words, I love your choice of words for it because it gives a strong feeling, clear and well-defined. In my opinion, it's actually very creative and deep. It's a well described emotion. Cool, keep it up and I'd like to see more of your work.

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We only have one life, live it like it's the only, because it is. Love like it's the only thing in your heart. Listen to the things people say because they'll come back around someday. -My mentors and me