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Originally Posted by VEGANGELICA
I understand someone feeling concern if a partner just seems to like her/him for certain physical attributes, whether it is a bald head or shaven legs, fancy outfit, make-up, muscles, etc. If a partner liked these superficial things about me so very much, then I might start to feel that who I am as a person didn't really matter to him. I'd start to think he should just get a blow-up doll, while I go on my own merry way being my own haired self.
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I think that is one area where men and women think differently. As I saw it, she had done a wonderful thing, and I was showing my appreciation.
If the roles had been reversed, and I had done something that turned her on, my thinking would have been that I had done well, she was really happy, and I was getting a lot of.... it. I'd have considered it a success, well worth the sacrifice, and taken everything entirely at face value. That is how I believe most men would reason, and I think that is because sex and love are not as entwined as they are in the female mind.
From her point of view, which I understood once she explained it, the reaction to her baldness made her feel inadequate the rest of the time. Where I'd have been happy with the attention, she wondered why it wasn't like that all the time. Because of this, I had actually been making things worse. I could see she was unhappy about something and assumed she regretted having done it. In spite of the fact that I had been wearing a shaved head for years (still do, although less shaving is required), I knew what a huge sacrifice it was for her, and I wanted her to feel good about it. I was actually going out of my way to tell her how beautiful and sexy she was, how proud I was, and so on, without any clue that I was making things worse. It really was one of those "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" situations.
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Originally Posted by boo boo
I admit that I use the term fetish more broadly than that. I certainly don't go around getting pervy over every bald chick regardless of her actual attractiveness so I wouldn't call it an unhealthy obsession.
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That's how most people use it, and there really isn't a better word. I'm just saying you wouldn't fit the clinical definition of a paraphiliac. I've just noticed that you sometimes refer to your acomophilia as though it were a psychological disorder. I don't know you at all, but it definitely doesn't sound like you have the level of obsession, dependence or objectification for any clinical diagnosis.
As you've said, it's just what you consider attractive in a woman, no different from. say, red hair or big boobs. But it is still the woman who matters most.
Another way of looking at this is that it is perfectly normal, and not that unusual for a woman to think bald men are sexy. I guarantee not one person thinks my wife is kinky because I shave my head. Our taste in women is no different, except that society tells us that long hair is beautiful and feminine, and baldness is strictly for men because typically men are the ones who lose their hair.
Even so, distinctions are often made between male pattern baldness and a man's shaved head, with the latter carrying none of the negative baggage (unfair as it is) of the former. This could certainly be extended to set aside all shaved heads from natural masculine baldness, but it still comes down to that strong connection between long hair and femininity in our society. It's kind of a narrow, outdated ideal, but it's fully entrenched.