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Originally Posted by baldy1138
I think that is one area where men and women think differently. As I saw it, she had done a wonderful thing, and I was showing my appreciation.
If the roles had been reversed, and I had done something that turned her on, my thinking would have been that I had done well, she was really happy, and I was getting a lot of.... it. I'd have considered it a success, well worth the sacrifice, and taken everything entirely at face value. That is how I believe most men would reason, and I think that is because sex and love are not as entwined as they are in the female mind.
From her point of view, which I understood once she explained it, the reaction to her baldness made her feel inadequate the rest of the time. Where I'd have been happy with the attention, she wondered why it wasn't like that all the time. Because of this, I had actually been making things worse. I could see she was unhappy about something and assumed she regretted having done it. In spite of the fact that I had been wearing a shaved head for years (still do, although less shaving is required), I knew what a huge sacrifice it was for her, and I wanted her to feel good about it. I was actually going out of my way to tell her how beautiful and sexy she was, how proud I was, and so on, without any clue that I was making things worse. It really was one of those "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" situations.
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That sucks man, I guess that means she won't do it for you again?
Oh well, she deserves an A for effort. It's sad that a woman still feels unwanted even when she knows that her partner loves the way she looks. I watched a doc (not for pervy reasons) about Gail Porter once and it was really sad to see her talk down on herself all the time and how ugly she felt, even though her husband and friends kept complimenting her on how she looked without hair, she felt like it was only out of pity and still cared a lot about the opinions of strangers.
It's a shame that so many women can be so wrapped up in what society deems acceptable even when they have someone who loves them no matter what. I really don't care what people think of me I care what people I care about think of me and I can only hope that if I get a girlfriend she will feel the same way.
I don't think it's "natural" for women to be this way so much as it's how they are brought up. We teach women at a young age how important their appearance is and how important their hair is.
Our media constantly endorses hair products and tells women about all the different ways they can style their hair, you go to a salon and you read one of those hairstyle catalogs, you can find just about every hairstyle there is but never a shaved head or even a buzzcut. You can find them in men's hair catalogs of course.
And of course the media has a habit of flipping the hell out every time a woman does it. Britney Spears had a history of problems but when did people took notice? When OH NOES SHE WENT BALD! Yeah it didn't matter that she used to flash her vag around in public and endangered her kids while behind the wheel, going bald THAT was the sign that she had a problem.
Even Gail Porter who shaved her head because she had alopecia, the UK media didn't treat her much nicer, calling her a "wreck" and a "former hottie" among other things. And what kind of message does that sends to women who are NOT bald by choice? That they are physically deformed and can never be desirable because of their appearance.
It's sickening and even more so that now whenever a woman shaves her head some youtube commenter or whatever will say "lol britney wannabe" as if Britney invented headshaving, and it was more of a buzz than a real shave anyway.
Some people can't think for themselves, they have to rely on the media for their opinions.
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That's how most people use it, and there really isn't a better word. I'm just saying you wouldn't fit the clinical definition of a paraphiliac. I've just noticed that you sometimes refer to your acomophilia as though it were a psychological disorder. I don't know you at all, but it definitely doesn't sound like you have the level of obsession, dependence or objectification for any clinical diagnosis.
As you've said, it's just what you consider attractive in a woman, no different from. say, red hair or big boobs. But it is still the woman who matters most.
Another way of looking at this is that it is perfectly normal, and not that unusual for a woman to think bald men are sexy. I guarantee not one person thinks my wife is kinky because I shave my head. Our taste in women is no different, except that society tells us that long hair is beautiful and feminine, and baldness is strictly for men because typically men are the ones who lose their hair.
Even so, distinctions are often made between male pattern baldness and a man's shaved head, with the latter carrying none of the negative baggage (unfair as it is) of the former. This could certainly be extended to set aside all shaved heads from natural masculine baldness, but it still comes down to that strong connection between long hair and femininity in our society. It's kind of a narrow, outdated ideal, but it's fully entrenched.
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It's been an oudated ideal since the 60s when a lot of guys started sporting long hair, I no longer associate long hair with femininity even though a head of beautiful hair is still great and everything.
I've read your more recent blog entries and I strongly agree on how the lack of hair just puts extra emphasis on everything else. When a guy shaves his head yeah that is considered a very masculine look but that's because the lack of hair makes the masculine features stand out more.
I feel it works the same exact way with women, hair is another article of clothing and when you remove it you see a part of her you haven't seen before, without the hair it makes the feminine features all the more striking, it only makes her look like a dude if she looked like a dude to begin with.
Also I don't know weither this qualifies as an obsession for me or not, depends on how you define that word. But it's not just something I like, I don't have sexual fantasies about women with hair
nearly as much as I do with bald women, which is what I fantasize about most of the time, I'm quite passionate about it and everyone will tell you that I talk about this topic way too damn much.
I don't think it's an unhealthy obsession but I'm into it enough that I think of it as a fetish.
And another thing, I see that it was Persis Khambatta who converted you, I tend to give Natalie Portman (even if she wasn't really bald) the credit for giving me this fascination with bald women but I remember when I was just going through puberty and watching the first Star Trek movie and being wowed by this chick and wondering why more women didn't sport this look because of how great it looked on her.
I recall that psychologists believe that fetishes and sexual preferences are usually rooted in the sexual experiences you had in childhood and with that in mind I probably owe Persis more credit than I have given her.
