Quote:
Originally Posted by boo boo
Yeah, I get accused of holding women on a high pedestal, true to an extent. But I realise women can be just as choosy and judgemental as men. But I think it's natural biology for the females of any species to be that way.
There's nothing wrong with having standards in opinions we all do, but it helps to not having incredibly high standards like some do and also care more about the deeper things, the most superficial men and women are bothered by the most minor physical "flaws" and trivial idiosyncrasies, but at least in terms of looks I think men are much more judgemental.
Not that women don't have high standards. Every Cosmo I've looked through I can never find a picture of a normal looking guy it's always some dude who is so ridiculously handsome that even straight guys would want to f*ck him. I never see guys like this in real life lol.
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I think it's important for both you AND the girl to be just as self-serving as you are generous. I've never met a girl who really wanted a guy who was a complete pushover and did everything they wanted and took no pleasure for himself.
I would think that to a girl, if the guy is actually getting some gratification out of the relationship beyond just satisfying her, then it's reflective of her own desirability and not of some weird need for a guy to exist only to serve the needs of another, even if meeting that need is what gratifies him.
I think there needs to be a gratification in each partner that each partner can personally identify with. When you have that, you don't HAVE to ask whether you're pleasing the other person most of the time. You just know it's happening and there's a security in that.
I think that's where your confidence comes from. Mutual beneficiaries on the same level. Not some born-in, branded style of personality that applies in all scenarios. That's destined to fail at points. Just being cognizant of the other person's desires while not denying your own is sufficient. If you happen to be a couple who's desires don't clash, then you're better off. Just don't tailor your own identity for the sake of someone else's. That's where thinks have a huge potential of backfiring.