The Sexual Experience Thread

[Freebase Dali]

Originally Posted by boo boo

Oh I'm sure of that but I still want to know how many girls enjoy giving head and how many feel like it's a tedious obligation.

Yea that's something you'll have to ask the girls. But from what I've experienced on the receiving end, new relationships are more about the enjoyment of pleasuring (you never even have to ask), and as time goes on, it generally becomes less of that. I'd say it works the same way the other way around as well.

I can see it happening though, you pull out and you prematurely go off, getting it in her hair.

Yet another reason bald chicks rule.

lol.. should have seen that coming.

[boo boo]

Cumguzzling isn't any more cannibalism than wanking is incest..... Ok maybe it is.

Sperm aren't people right, that's how we rationalize wanking. But I guess eating something that is a human byproduct is technically cannibalism.

Also I'm not a health nut but what are the health risks/benefits of eating spooge?

[boo boo]

Originally Posted by Freebase Dali

Yea that's something you'll have to ask the girls. But from what I've experienced on the receiving end, new relationships are more about the enjoyment of pleasuring (you never even have to ask), and as time goes on, it generally becomes less of that. I'd say it works the same way the other way around as well.

Less of what? How do girls feelings about a relationship change as it goes on, from your experience?

lol.. should have seen that coming.

Yep.

[Freebase Dali]

Originally Posted by boo boo

Less of what? How do girls feelings about a relationship change as it goes on, from your experience?

Well over time, you're generally not as "hot" for each other as you were when you first met, given enough time. I'd say this is mostly universal, as I've never heard otherwise from anything except movies and fairytales. The timeframe most certainly varies, but it's unrealistic to think that the same feelings people have for each other, sexually, last for ever... even without the help of aging. It's just a matter of becoming accustomed to the same thing for long enough.

There are ways you can make it not as drastic, but you really have to be committed to keeping things interesting and not getting on their bad side emotionally, which is harder than you'd imagine.
In a relationship, the beginning is all glitz and glamor and you don't see the flaws (or ignore them) and you're sexually motivated by lust and "love", but it changes slowly after a while and you get more comfortable with a person and that's when the flaws (everyone has them) become apparent in both your significant other and in yourself, as reflected by your significant others' reaction to them. When the lust wears off is when you really sort of... aren't afraid... to let them know what you think, and vice versa.

I think it's just a natural thing that happens to everyone. The hard thing is trying to maintain an acceptable level of mutual attraction that's strong enough to keep you both sexually fulfilled and content. Personally I think that's a pretty important thing when you're simply a couple without kids. I wouldn't know from experience, but I'm pretty sure when kids come into the picture and you're married or whatever, they're the main focus and the attention is on keeping things together for their sake and not for the sake of your sexual urges or lack thereof.

Edit:
I also want to point out that a girl is not necessarily attracted to the way you "look" in the same way we are attracted to the way they look. Their attraction has more of a mental basis than a visual one, especially in the long term, and the way we act can have a huge effect on how attractive we are to them. Us guys might be attracted to a particular woman's body for years, but they're not so lucky if we're douchebags the whole relationship, as we'll be more of a turn-off regardless. And that directly translates to how lucky we can or cannot be, so that's an important thing to remember in a relationship, I think.

[boo boo]

Originally Posted by Freebase Dali

Well over time, you're generally not as "hot" for each other as you were when you first met, given enough time. I'd say this is mostly universal, as I've never heard otherwise from anything except movies and fairytales. The timeframe most certainly varies, but it's unrealistic to think that the same feelings people have for each other, sexually, last for ever... even without the help of aging. It's just a matter of becoming accustomed to the same thing for long enough.

This make sence, biologically humans were never meant to be monogamous.

I personally am not for or against monogamy. I don't have any real moral stance on it. If someone is promiscious I think that is fine as long as they are being safe about it.

But there's a better alternative. Polyamory.

There are ways you can make it not as drastic, but you really have to be committed to keeping things interesting and not getting on their bad side emotionally, which is harder than you'd imagine.

Some girls tell me I'm a "sub". Lol.

I'm willing to try a lot of things even at the expense of my pride. I don't think I'd be satisfied with just plain vanilla sex and I hope to find a girl who shares my taste for adventure.

In a relationship, the beginning is all glitz and glamor and you don't see the flaws (or ignore them) and you're sexually motivated by lust and "love", but it changes slowly after a while and you get more comfortable with a person and that's when the flaws (everyone has them) become apparent in both your significant other and in yourself, as reflected by your significant others' reaction to them. When the lust wears off is when you really sort of... aren't afraid... to let them know what you think, and vice versa.

I get your point. But if there is more to your relationship than sex I think there are ways to work it out. Unless you want to f*ck other people and I can't think of a good solution for that other than.......... POLYAMORY.

I think it's just a natural thing that happens to everyone. The hard thing is trying to maintain an acceptable level of mutual attraction that's strong enough to keep you both sexually fulfilled and content. Personally I think that's a pretty important thing when you're simply a couple without kids. I wouldn't know from experience, but I'm pretty sure when kids come into the picture and you're married or whatever, they're the main focus and the attention is on keeping things together for their sake and not for the sake of your sexual urges or lack thereof.

POLYARMORY.

Edit:
I also want to point out that a girl is not necessarily attracted to the way you "look" in the same way we are attracted to the way they look. Their attraction has more of a mental basis than a visual one, especially in the long term, and the way we act can have a huge effect on how attractive we are to them. Us guys might be attracted to a particular woman's body for years, but they're not so lucky if we're douchebags the whole relationship, as we'll be more of a turn-off regardless. And that directly translates to how lucky we can or cannot be, so that's an important thing to remember in a relationship, I think.

I'm a very introverted person who likes his own space, that can be an issue if she is an extraverted type, but I'm very respectful towards other people's space and try not to get in their way.

[bannister]

Say polyamory one more time, Boo.

....

Anyways, I agree with what Freebase is saying. I think most women are more attracted by stuff like personality and common interests.

However, we'd still like to be able to look at you without wanting to vomit, and that's a point a lot of "nice guys" miss when they whine about their lack of girlfriends.

I tend to get bored really fast if there's no common ground, too... but everyone gets bored after a while, I'm afraid. :/ And I'm the jealous type, so polyamory/swinging/open relationships would never work for me.

[boo boo]

Yeah women can be just as choosy and judgemental as men. But I think it's natural biology for the females of any species to be that way.

There's nothing wrong with having standards in terms of physical appearance, we all do, but it helps to not have absurdly high standards like some do and also care more about the deeper things, the most superficial men and women are bothered by the most minor physical "flaws" and trivial idiosyncrasies, but at least in terms of looks I think men are much more judgemental and their standards can be ridiculously high, but mostly only on a physical level, while on a personality level some guys standards are ridiculously low.

Not that women cant have high standards in regards to looks. Every Cosmo I've looked through I can never find a picture of a normal looking guy it's always some dude who is so ridiculously handsome that even straight guys would want to f*ck him. I never see guys like this in real life lol.

[Freebase Dali]

Originally Posted by boo boo

Yeah, I get accused of holding women on a high pedestal, true to an extent. But I realise women can be just as choosy and judgemental as men. But I think it's natural biology for the females of any species to be that way.

There's nothing wrong with having standards in opinions we all do, but it helps to not having incredibly high standards like some do and also care more about the deeper things, the most superficial men and women are bothered by the most minor physical "flaws" and trivial idiosyncrasies, but at least in terms of looks I think men are much more judgemental.

Not that women don't have high standards. Every Cosmo I've looked through I can never find a picture of a normal looking guy it's always some dude who is so ridiculously handsome that even straight guys would want to f*ck him. I never see guys like this in real life lol.

I think it's important for both you AND the girl to be just as self-serving as you are generous. I've never met a girl who really wanted a guy who was a complete pushover and did everything they wanted and took no pleasure for himself.
I would think that to a girl, if the guy is actually getting some gratification out of the relationship beyond just satisfying her, then it's reflective of her own desirability and not of some weird need for a guy to exist only to serve the needs of another, even if meeting that need is what gratifies him.
I think there needs to be a gratification in each partner that each partner can personally identify with. When you have that, you don't HAVE to ask whether you're pleasing the other person most of the time. You just know it's happening and there's a security in that.

I think that's where your confidence comes from. Mutual beneficiaries on the same level. Not some born-in, branded style of personality that applies in all scenarios. That's destined to fail at points. Just being cognizant of the other person's desires while not denying your own is sufficient. If you happen to be a couple who's desires don't clash, then you're better off. Just don't tailor your own identity for the sake of someone else's. That's where thinks have a huge potential of backfiring.

[boo boo]

Originally Posted by Freebase Dali

I think it's important for both you AND the girl to be just as self-serving as you are generous. I've never met a girl who really wanted a guy who was a complete pushover and did everything they wanted and took no pleasure for himself.

I don't want a girl who doesn't enjoy doing things. But I don't want a girl who keeps me bottled up either because she has a ridiculously long list of things she refuses to do. I would be willing to try things she likes if shes willing to try things I like. Diplomacy.

And getting your partner to actually enjoy the things you want her to try is even better.

I would think that to a girl, if the guy is actually getting some gratification out of the relationship beyond just satisfying her, then it's reflective of her own desirability and not of some weird need for a guy to exist only to serve the needs of another, even if meeting that need is what gratifies him.
I think there needs to be a gratification in each partner that each partner can personally identify with. When you have that, you don't HAVE to ask whether you're pleasing the other person most of the time. You just know it's happening and there's a security in that.

Yeah a woman who doesn't have any sexual desires or fantasies of her own, that would be too weird for me, the kinkier the better I say. I'm not one of those guys who are into the passive/submissive thing that some guys have a weird fetish for.

Sex from my perspective shouldn't be about dominance and submission so much as a union fromed from a diplomatic relationship, even if its a position or act that requires a dominant and submissive role, if both parties arent enjoying it a good deal it can't really qualify as "great" sex.

I think that's where your confidence comes from. Mutual beneficiaries on the same level. Not some born-in, branded style of personality that applies in all scenarios. That's destined to fail at points. Just being cognizant of the other person's desires while not denying your own is sufficient. If you happen to be a couple who's desires don't clash, then you're better off. Just don't tailor your own identity for the sake of someone else's. That's where thinks have a huge potential of backfiring.

Yeah, this seems like such a simple solution to the problem, it's amazing how many couples don't function this way. And those are the ones that are bound to fail.

[Freebase Dali]

Couples don't function that way often because ego gets into the way and at all times at least one of the two are thinking only of themselves or the other.
People misunderstand the concept of compromise...
It doesn't mean you have to always give something up. Sometimes it means you deserve something too...