Originally Posted by VEGANGELICA

Hi anti-war,

I like the topic of your song lyrics, but I feel the word "care" is used so often that it becomes distracting to me. I recommend omitting some of the repetitions of "you don't care, you don't care, you don't care," and maybe just say, "you don't care."

Also, there is one part of the message that I'm not sure about. While reading the first stanza, I thought the song was going to be an ironic song describing how someone who claims he or she doesn't care for someone else actually does care. Then at the end it seemed as if the song really *is* about someone who doesn't care and so has made himself/herself unavailable when the person who initially rebuffed the friendship now needs him/her.

If the song is supposed to be a sad one, showing that the person has hurt himself or herself by no longer caring, then I recommend you make that clearer. The fact that the person states so often that he or she doesn't care makes me think he or she really *does* care. Is the message of your song supposed to be that when one person rebuffs another, then the hurt person becomes emotionally hard and unmoved, which will then affect a 3rd person in the same way, and so on and so on?