I feel like men's expectations are imposed on them by other men* though, because I don't personally know any women who wouldn't appreciate a man who wasn't "macho". I myself find the quintessential "manly man" to be rather off-putting.
I agree with you that the greater shame is in ridicule for that which you cannot change though.
* I know that sounds horrible, but I haven't known any women to be overtly judgmental about such a thing, and when I think about the imposition of that standard, what comes to mind is fathers shaping their sons. I can't tell you how many dads I've known to push their songs into football because they want their child to be a "real man". The mothers I've known have been more supportive of their sons' endeavors into artwork or drama, etc.
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