Trollheart's Two-Sentence Album Reviews
 

Everyone knows I'm famous/infamous for long, rambling reviews, but I have tried in my time to tone it down, everything from my Bitesize journal to Trollheart's Listening List and even the 200-word Album Review. Now I'm stripping it down to bare bones. Other than the data sheet, there will be only two sentences in my reviews. These are random albums, ones I have never heard before, so we'll see how it goes. Oh, and in case you think I'm going to stretch the sentences out into three pages each or something, I'm setting a limit of 50 words (or thereabouts; not a hard limit, but within that area).

All right then, let's go.

https://i.discogs.com/LMZCfactJcbhZD.../NC5qcGVn.jpeg
Title: Povestiri Din Gară
Artist: Cargo
Year: 1993
Nationality: Romanian
Chronology: First of eight
Genre: Rock
Familiarity: Zero
Loved: Portile de Fier
Liked: Povestiri Din Gară, Ana,
Meh: Buletin de Stiri, Brigadierii, Erata
Disliked: 1989, Batacanda
Hated:

Review: I’ve heard little Romanian music, rock or otherwise, and I have to be honest and say this album doesn’t make me want to hear any more. Decent enough rock album I suppose, with some good ideas but somewhat poorly executed, bad production and quite generic.

Rating: Meh

https://i.discogs.com/3zN8W7PsxD6sL4...DEzLnBuZw.jpeg
Title: Iceland
Artist: Devin Townsend
Year: 2016
Nationality: American
Chronology: 11th of approximately 26(ish)
Genre: Acoustic Rock
Familiarity: Reasonable: I’ve heard a few albums and many random tracks
Loved:
Liked: Start, Let it Roll, Solar Winds, Ih-Ah, Funeral, End
Meh:
Disliked: Deadhead, Sister
Hated

Review: Think this is a collection of acoustic numbers from other albums; he mentions Synchestra at the start. It’s pretty decent, but I’d imagine fans already have these songs, so probably for completists only.

Rating: All right

https://i.discogs.com/uoJVn5HcVtDlZO...2MS5qcGVn.jpeg
Title: Secrets of the Runes
Artist: Stvannyr
Year: 2018
Nationality: Hungarian
Chronology: First of 3
Genre: Acoustic, Ambient, Black Metal, Post Rock, Neofolk (according to Discogs)
Familiarity: Zero
Loved: The Silent Island, Wilderness Chant, The Whistle of White Winds, Aine’s Veil, If the Long Ships Could Talk…, Grave on the Black Hill
Liked:
Meh:
Disliked:
Hated

Review: Beautifully relaxing and ambient music, real laid-back post-rock; enjoyed every track. Ready to listen to more of this guy (another one-man band).

Rating: Excellent

I don't think I've ever heard a Hungarian band.

They might be my first too (though I did do The International Language of Metal about seven years ago and went across Europe, so I may have come across one or two). This one is good.

https://i.discogs.com/1Ks4FL97YVpHlt.../Ni5qcGVn.jpeg
Title: Banco Del Mutuo Soccorso
Artist: Banco Del Mutuo Soccorso
Year: 1972
Nationality: Italian
Chronology: First of 15
Genre: Progressive Rock (Rock Progressivo Italiano)
Familiarity: Slight; I’ve heard one album I think
Loved:
Liked:
Meh: Pretty much everything
Disliked:
Hated

Review: Look, I know these guys are the big cheeses, founders of the original RPI movement, and maybe it’s just that they’re singing in Italian and I can’t really concentrate, but the whole damn thing has passed me by. I doubt it’s a bad album, but it just made no impression on me.

Rating: Meh-ish

https://i.discogs.com/EmnItEgUbyNWwT...MzLmpwZWc.jpeg
Title: Puzzles
Artist: Millennium
Year: 2011
Nationality: Polish
Chronology: 9th of 17
Genre: Progressive Rock
Familiarity: High; have heard a lot of their albums
Loved: Eden?, First Man on the Earth, The Sin, Broken Rule, Ice Dreams, Time is the Great Healer, Puzzled, We Try Again, Our Eden
Liked: Everything About Her, Farewell, The Prose of Life
Meh: Apple and Snake
Disliked: The Tree of Knowledge
Hated

Review: Despite the seeming Biblical theme running through much of this album - something I haven’t seen Millennium use before - this is another fine album from the Polish proggers, and confirms my need to listen to more of their discography. Not perfect, no - a few duff tracks as you can see - but a real joy to listen to.

Rating: Excellent

https://i.discogs.com/PVDmdjEOUzV0uO...4Ny5qcGVn.jpeg

Title: A Life in Six Acts
Artist: Into the Great Divide
Year: 2019
Nationality: American
Chronology: Second of 2
Genre: Progressive Rock/Progressive Metal
Familiarity: Zero
Loved:
Liked:
Meh: Pretty much everything
Disliked:
Hated

Review: Here we have a project by a drummer from Dream Theater and a guitarist who seems to be a cross between Devin Townsend and Elon Musk, so, you know, don’t expect too much in the way of entertainment. All instrumental, a clever idea at its heart - the tracing of a life from birth to death in musical passages - but ultimately it sounds like as usual just showing off for the sake of technical wankery, and I’m bored ****less.

Rating: Meh. M-E-H.

(Hah! Look at that: so boring nobody could be arsed to put a YouTube up!) :laughing:

Instrumentals can be good. For me, they need to either be full of hooks, or bring out an emotional response. It sounds like this band has well known players. The "supergroup" isn't always super.

Stvannyr
 

Some nice sounds going on there. Well produced.