Proposal for a minumum age limit
 

This might seem a little draconian, but I just today offered to mentor a newbie, and then found out she was 13 years old. Now, that's of course not a problem per se, but does open up a whole lot of potential hazards, both for me and for her. In the first place, socialising (hanging around, I guess you'd say) with a 13 year old when you're a year shy of fifty is dubious behaviour at best, and could lead to accusations of "grooming" at worst.

There's also the matter of how we treat these first-timers. I'm referring specifically to the advice given by a member to a newbie about posting a picture of their genitalia to a certain member, and saying this was mandatory practice. Now, I KNOW this was said TOTALLY in jest, and no-one expects anyone to do any such thing BUT should it have been taken up the wrong way --- either by the newb or by anyone else reading that thread: anyone can read them, after all --- and worse, should that newb be considered underage, well, you can see the problem it could create.

Without a mandatory age limit here it would look as if we should be VERY careful about what we say, especially in a sexual context, or anything that could be considered sexual, particularly to those who don't know, and definitely to newbies.

I certainly don't want to restrict membership to a certain age, and yet there are some serious pitfalls that we need to think about. If just one incident --- real or imagined --- gets reported we could all be in some major trouble. What, they'll say, these guardians of decency and morals, has sending a questionable picture got to do with a forum that purports to only be interested in music? Are they trading porn too? Kiddy porn? Shut them down!

You can see how it would go.

So I'd just like to sound a note of concern, and see if anyone has any suggestions or solutions. Perhaps newbs should always be asked their age in the introductions? Perhaps we need to watch our potty mouths more? I'm really not sure. But this is a problem that ain't gonna go away, so we should really start thinking now about how to be proactive, before we find ourselves in deep doo-doo...

Actually, we already have a minimum age limit to join: 14. This is in the rules you agree to when you create your account. I guess it hasn't been enforced as much lately but it could be.

I was under the impression you were supposed to be fourteen at least to join this forum (although this may have been Urban trying to pull someone's leg) - but you've clearly raised an important point.

Basically, I'm sure that a lot of this responsibility lies with the parents, and although there's nothing wrong with letting your child on the internet, it really should be guided just a little.
I'm seventeen at the moment (joined here aged sixteen), and to be frank the "banter" and the NSFW content of this site is mild compared to my sixth form common room.

You beat me to it!!!!!

Hah, I didn't think there was an age limit and actually wrote to Trollheart there wasn't one outside of this thread. Sorry for the misinformation, TH!

I only registered that one time back in 2008 and can't remember the registration details, but I assume it's just a box you tick off where you state that you're above the required age or something. Based on this, would you (the mods) ban a member from the forum if they claim they are under 14?

Also that rule isn't somethign the mods actually put in place. Its part of all Vbulletin registrations, inherent in the software. Kind of predictable its unknown and unenforced.

If it's an issue of legality or something, then I guess we should ban everyone under the age of 18.

:laughing:

How can you police something like that though? I mean we have no idea for sure what everyone's age is and it's really not up to us to keep youngin's off the site, it's the parents responsibility.

trollheart you seem a little too over-protective of yourself eh ;)

we all have skeletons in our closet

Edited my post for clarity.
I don't actually think we should do it. I was making a statement.

There is absolutely no way to enforce this policy, and if it were made known, people would simply lie to get around it. I guarantee kids who wind up on 18+ sites don't simply shrug and leave the page.

I'm inclined to agree with Vanilla; it's a parent's job to monitor their child's internet useage, and to know who they're speaking to.

As for me, my inbox is as of yet testicle-free, and hopefully remains that way. Don't the rest of you get any ideas.

I have no idea what this means but it's probably the funniest thing I've read all week. :laughing:

Sigging this.

Does anyone think there's anything my seventeen year old eyed ought to be protected from on this site? The NSFW threads have "NSFW!!!" written prominently on them. I'm sure there's no way we should actually move towards Jayshreddz' "Family Friendly" music banter idea either.

No, I just think that if we allow "underage" people to join and participate, then perhaps we should be a lot more careful what we say, as a jokey, off-the-cuff remark, particularly a sexual one (or one that could be interpreted as such) could end up getting us into trouble.

If you're in a room with a lot of kids you know to watch your language and so forth. If you're in a forum where you know there may be kids (or at least, people under say 16) you should be able to conduct yourself accordingly. A chance remark, taken up the wrong way, and mentioned to someone underage, could have for instance their parents getting at you online.

It's a valid point, and a real problem. If there was some way to incorporate birthdate or age in the profile, that would be a way of at least defending ourselves. Saying "I didn't know he/she was only 12/13/14" won't really wash: you'll be asked does your forum allow these ages, and if yes, then why aren't you more mindful that there are young, impressionable minds in your midst? I can see it happening...

BTW I had a spring clean last month and threw out all my skeletons. Well, nearly them all: couldn't let old "Repressed Sexual Urges" (or as I call him, Boney) go! :D
;)

It would be impossible to monitor our behaviour in that sense, as anyone can view the site without signing up to it.

That reminded me of the Red Dwarf episode where they discover the planet that changes itself according to the persons mind, and it has gravestones for all of rimmers positive personality traits, and when they died.

Unfortunately, can't find a pic, so here, have this heartbreaking reminder of what once was:

http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5146/5...68ec635a_z.jpg

woah dude, we have kids who use these boards.

i am only 13 and i say no age requirement!!!!!!!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

:pssst: sending Ped pics of your dick

Don't forget your :band: :hphones: :pimp:

It is 1980 now?

Oh fuck. I don't like the eighties. >=(

Anyways, I find age irrelevant, yes, I've seen 12 yeras old kids on forums that couldn't behave but I've also seen some that are actually capable of acting properly in a forum, so it depends on the individual rather than the age, if you ask me. If there is a 13 years old who doesn't behave, fine, just ban the kid, but at least give em a chance. ;)

Story joined when he was 13yrs old I'm sure and he was an excellent member. Whatever happened to Story?

To hell with an age limit, I want an IQ limit.

This is really the big issue with public discussion on the internet, regardless of location, topic, or even security measures in a lot of cases. Names and ages are simple to fake, credit card information can be stolen or forged, user accounts can be hacked.

Then again I sadly have some relatives who now have young children who will try to 'watch' what they do on the internet but get upset when 'the hackers put porn' on the websites. Nevermind that the kid has surfed onto some adult biker site because they like motorcycles. There are a lot of parents who really need to learn how the internet actually operates, and these aren't old people, they're all in their 30s, they all have smartphones and laptops, they just don't quite get it.

Very much agreed. The only hassle with that is that discussion becomes stale when all comments are written for broad general consumption. I've gotten complaints for replying to a thread with a tone that seems condescending because an individual expected a personal response and I wrote in a general style for the site.

---

Ultimately the internet is one of those places where age can truly be irrelevant. On a site like this where the predominant focus is a safe topic, if a 12 year old starts posting about their favourite bands and / or instruments and can maintain a decent level of discussion then their age shouldn't really ever come into play (didn't Alfred lie about his age - did anyone notice until he fessed up?). It's only when things crossover from the broad general topics to the personal social topics that potential issues arise.

Do you want rid of me that bad :(? Haha.

Hot blonde girls get a 50 head start.

You can have 25.

^^ Goodbye then urban. It was nice knowing ya. :p:

Where kids are present, I change my behaviour, yes, To an extent.

For example if I'm smoking, waiting for a bus or whatever, and a parent then stands next to me with their child, I will move away. The parent made the choice to stand next to me but it's still not necessary and so I decide to move away.

However, and this is the main one that comes to mind, where there are kids in the pub with their parents I don't change my behaviour. I suppose that I do in some ways, it's unavoidable, but I have had someone ask me to watch my language before and my response was not completely mature, to say the least. If you don't want your child subjected to bad language and adult conversation, don't bring them to the pub where it's almost an absolute certainty that people will be drinking, swearing and having conversations that are not exactly child-friendly.

My point, basically, is that where we are aware that we do have younger members here it is worth bearing in mind. there are still gonna be comments directed towards these members that, because of their age, could be deemed inappropriate and so it's probably best to be aware. However, generally speaking, it isnt our responsibility, nor is it all possible for it to be, to change our attitudes, content and behaviours because there could potentially be young members here. If parents dont want their children to be using certain community, networking or forum sites like this one then they are responsible for monitoring what they are doing on the net. Plus, lets face it, the age-related security of porn sites is no different to this one. At least here you have to register an account to use it. There are far bigger potential issues for parents and their childs internet usage than Music Banter.

:laughing:

[img]http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-AV4sC42Aj9o/TdgVkZ2Yj3I/AAAAAAAAARc/5Xs46X4j7F8/s1600/****-you.gif[/img]

Maybe it's because you're from the dinosaurs' age (=P), but honestly, kids know pretty much the whole urban dictionary when they're 12+ nowadays so it's not a big deal. And anything below 12 years old probably shouldn't be on the internet anyways (I think that IS too young in general, honestly), so yeah, it's not big deal. =P

I can think of 3 members who were underage when they joined and they were Alfred , Storymilo & Dayvan Cowboy and they turned out to be 3 of the better members of the forum and acted a lot more mature than some other members I could mention.

Ironically when I was 13 I was doing part time work in a pub and had you told me I was too young to join here would have just laughed.

FaSho was underage too, I think?

I think he was 14

Laughed because back then you would have had no idea what an internet forum was?

Okay, fine: everyone laugh at me. I'm not for internet censorship, not by a long way, but I think we at least need to take the step of waiting till we at least know someone (and have an idea --- whether it's correct or not --- of their basic age) before we hit them with overtly sexual comments, that aren't even qualified by a smilie, and COULD be taken in the wrong way, if not by the "younger person" then by an adult/parent who happens to see what's on his/her screen. I know it's not too likely, but it only takes one incident.

Everyone's made their feelings plain here, that it's up to the parents, and I agree, to a large extent. However, it's also up to us to be a little more responsible, and at least try to hold back on the "sexual banter" until we know people, and I still say hitting someone with that phrase (and again I KNOW it was a joke) as their first communication with a member (ooer!) here is bad judgement at the very least, and would hope that would be taken on board by all members here, and not be repeated.

One final point: remember, parents seeing their kids joining a site called "Music Banter" will not necessarily expect there to be conversation of a sexual nature going on here. They'd be wrong, of course, but it wouldn't throw up a red flag right away, so they would assume their "child" would be safe here. And really, in many ways, part of the onus is on us to ensure that's the case.

And now, if you'll excuse me, I have a ton of kiddy porn to catch up on, and my latest captive is doing my head in, banging on my wardrobe like that!

:D:D:D:D:D (In case anyone thinks I'm serious...)

^^ What the Hell does THAT mean??? :confused:

Anyway, in a move which may seem hypocritical in the extreme, I've thought about this and decided to go ahead and adopt RHCPFemaleFlea, the 13-year old whose joining kicked off this thread and started this controversy.

I believe that now that I KNOW she's underage I'll be better able to avoid any pitfalls that might have come up otherwise, and though it does sort of seem weird, I told her my age and suggested she might want someone younger and more in tune with her music, but she said she would prefer me to adopt her, so that's what I'm doing.

My reasoning? It seems unfair that she should not be considered for adoption by me due solely to my worries over her age. I'm obviously old enough to know better, and it will be up to me to set the example.

I assume I can expect visits from all your guys in prison, should it all go horribly wrong? Whaddya mean, no? :)

It was me who said that.

It's also equally wrong for adults to completely avoid children altogether because they are scared of being labelled "pedo". If it wasn't for talking a lot with adults on this forum, I'd not know half of what I do about music, I'd know less about people and less about the internet and how to behave. I think that the question is really less about how young people ought to be, but rather more about how we treat them.

For instance, you have no idea I'm telling the truth when I say I'm seventeen - I could very well be twelve judging from my posing history. So what should you do? Should I be banned for a couple of years? Or should we just tell Batlord to stop being so obscene?

Yessss!!!

That means I'm like Einstein.