Physical discipline against children .. okay or not? (house, quote, Bell)

Yukon Cornelius · 04-14-2009, 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by toretorden

How would you feel if a grown man spanked your butt?

Its different. What do you consider proper ??

WWWP · 04-14-2009, 10:34 PM

I really can't decide how to answer this. As I'm sure everyone does, the older I became the more I thought to myself "if I ever have kids I'm raising them exactly the opposite my parents raised me." Without going into too much detail (and/or self pity) I was smacked a lot, punished dramatically for minor things, more or less raised in fear, and went through a lot of emotional abuse. My childhood wasn't all bad, and I don't want to give the impression that my parents are horrible people because they really aren't, however, I couldn't imagine ever putting my own (possibly future) children through it.

At the same time though, when I see people saying that physical discipline is unacceptable, I automatically feel as though I should defend it, and in the back of my mind I'm thinking "well I turned out ok." I was taught to be extremely respectful and as a child I always had a good sense of what was right and wrong. But then I see people whose parents never physically disciplined them and they turned out to have the same morals instilled in them, and without the emotional baggage. It's not fair to say that "kids who aren't spanked grow up to be spoiled" and it's not fair to say that "kids who are spanked are abused." I think I'm losing sight of my point though...

Basically what I was trying to say is that my parents hit me and I hated it but I still love and respect them. I wish it had been different, but it wasn't. They say that you always turn into your parents in the end... I can't see myself ever having the desire to hit anyone, let alone my children, and my biggest fear is that if I do have kids I won't know what else to do. It seems like physical discipline is such a cop-out. Instead of taking the time to talk to and teach your kids, you just smack them. But at the same time a light smack doesn't seem like such a big deal... RAH. I'm so confused.

Fuck it. I don't think I was ever on the track of making a point.

I don't know... that's my answer. Sorry for the novel. And the late night ramblings. I'm done.

Yukon Cornelius · 04-15-2009, 02:31 PM

So what happens to them mentally if I place them in the corner every time they do something wrong? Does this teach them that when they have done something wrong they need to isolate themselves? How is that good?

I'm really curious to figure out what you think.

WWWP · 04-15-2009, 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yukon Cornelius

So what happens to them mentally if I place them in the corner every time they do something wrong? Does this teach them that when they have done something wrong they need to isolate themselves? How is that good?

I'm really curious to figure out what you think.

I don't know if this is directed at me, but I'll answer anyway.

It depends on the situation, but I don't think that the point of giving a kid a time out is to isolate them as much as it is to let them calm down and think about the situation, and if that's something that they carry with them into adulthood then there's definitely no harm done.

Yukon Cornelius · 04-15-2009, 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolverinewolfweiselpigeon

I don't know if this is directed at me, but I'll answer anyway.

It depends on the situation, but I don't think that the point of giving a kid a time out is to isolate them as much as it is to let them calm down and think about the situation, and if that's something that they carry with them into adulthood then there's definitely no harm done.

So its cool to isolate yourself when you have problems?

WWWP · 04-15-2009, 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yukon Cornelius

So its cool to isolate yourself when you have problems?

I don't see any harm in it. Just taking a step back to collect your thoughts when you're in a situation where you might overreact... I don't see anything wrong with that.

boo boo · 04-15-2009, 05:53 PM

If you have to resort to beating your children, you're just not being creative enough.

There's other methods to use that aren't as psychologically damaging.

Yukon Cornelius · 04-15-2009, 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boo boo

If you have to resort to beating your children, you're just not being creative enough.

There's other methods to use that aren't as psychologically damaging.

I don't consider a spank on the but beating, or psychologically damaging.

WWWP · 04-15-2009, 06:42 PM

He never said that it was.

Guybrush · 04-17-2009, 04:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yukon Cornelius

So what happens to them mentally if I place them in the corner every time they do something wrong? Does this teach them that when they have done something wrong they need to isolate themselves? How is that good?

I'm really curious to figure out what you think.

The idea is that you teach them that if they do something wrong like breaking the rules of the house or whatever, there are negative consequences that they have to deal with -> standing in the corner.

It introduces negative consequences without also teaching them that grownups/parents using violence against kids is alright.

By the way, house arrest is fairly common as children get older. It's almost the same thing.

View Poll Results: Physical punishment aganist children. Acceptable or Unacceptable?
Acceptable	50	56.82%
Unacceptable	38	43.18%
Voters: 88. You may not vote on this poll

04-15-2009, 02:31 PM	#173 (permalink)
Yukon Cornelius Music Addict Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 625	So what happens to them mentally if I place them in the corner every time they do something wrong? Does this teach them that when they have done something wrong they need to isolate themselves? How is that good? I'm really curious to figure out what you think. __________________ Attempting to find a cure for Stupid...