http://www.leb.k12.in.us/pdf/distric...ve%20Child.pdf

Does a great job at going through how a highly sensitive person thinks.

I suffer from high anxiety and depression. In all honesty I am very likely bipolar but have never been diagnosed as such, because I don't seek help for it.

I used to take antidepresants in my late teens, after getting diagnosed with depression by a court-ordered psychologist, but since I was still smoking weed and doing other drugs it didn't help much. So I just stopped taking them.

I my late 20s I decided to seek help for anxiety. This time I wasn't doing other drugs but couldn't handle the side effects, so I quit taking them. Narcodics just don't work for me - so I try to maintain naturally. Sometimes - or often, I should say - with the help of alcohol (for social interaction, mainly - it's not like I get trashed at home by myself. Only on occassion).

Oh and for the past year, I've had pretty annoying heart palpitations, likely caused from anxiety. Haven't had it checked out yet.

Let's see what else...oh yeah ADHD or whatever the fuck. My attention span SUCKS! And my short-term memory is deteriorating. Some days at work I do nothing but hop around between message boards, even when I have plenty of work to do. I just get distracted easily and am obsessed with music and discovering it/talking about it.

Character flaws: I kind of don't care - so when someone's talking to me and getting to know me, I often forget to ask them questions too. I only realize it later. Maybe I'm a dick.

I should go back and read this thread. See? It's like I've answered all your questions without asking anything about you.

I used to be a judgmental ****head. Now I'm too much of a non judgmental people pleaser.

I liked myself better when i was a ****head. Trying to find myself somewhere in between

Ýou're still a judgmental ****head.
You even tried to convince me what I was thinking :D.
But that's allright. I'm a judgmental ****head too.
Or at least judgmental. What is a ****head anyway?

It's like an asshole but in the front.

Wonder if that would be considered a Disorder or a Character Flaw ;D.

Yes

This isn't a flaw of my own but I've got a child in my class this year with autism. He's gorgeous but stressing me out. All he does it just walk around in his own little world, he's not toilet trained yet, he cries when something out of routine occurs (like when he hears music he hasn't heard before) and he has zero fine motor skills. It's such a challenge. Does anyone else know anyone with autism like this?

I used to work at an institute for mentally ill people.
There was a department there for very heavy autists.
These people were allowed to draw on white paper four days of the week and on slightly yellow paper on the fifth day, to train them...
Usually a couple of them would go completely bezerk because of that change. Really interesting to look at, but not very practical

So what do you teach then?

Yeah, this is basically what this kid is like. It's doing my head in. He's got a teacher's aide in the classroom but I feel like a failure because I can't get him to do anything... all he does is just walk around all spaced out and occasionally just roll around on the floor.

I teach primary school :) At the moment I've got Prep which is the equivalent of Grade 1 or Kindergarten in other countries.

There's not much you can do.
I think your sympathy for him is a great thing to start with.
It seems to me he's too 'far gone' to have a normal life, but it's good to hear that he's in a class with other children. Isolating him would only make things worse.
My experience is that for people who have autism, social contact is hard, but very, very useful. I think the best you can do is be very patient with him and involve him in as much as possible. It might cause a lot of trouble, but I assure you that it will help him make social contact, if only a bit.

Bipolar here (although I'm not sure whether on the mild or heavy side, never been diagnosed)

Basically, it's just these huge mood swings out of nowhere! And usually when I look back at it a few days later, It feels kinda foolish :laughing:.

But I do pretty much keep it to myself than to spread it about like a 'disease' to everyone around. 'Never sympathize with a depressive' - what they need is some sort of mind-altering treatment that would snap them out of their current routine.

Not sure about that, really.
I think in some cases an approach like that could kill people.

Kill them? :eek: Yikes, never heard of that.

By 'mind-altering', I don't necessarily mean drugs. Just the way you talk and behave could get them to change their focus and stop those repetitive thought patters. This is usually out of genuine necessity to help really. I've never found sympathizing and reasoning to work that well. Usually it's when they feel better and 'cheer up' is when they change their minds and make better decisions.

I meant that it's not always bad to sympathize ;).

The problem is it doesn't last. I've read many books, seen many movies, talked to many people and realized how I should be thinking or behaving, but it doesn't last. Yeah you make better decisions when you're on the 'up', but then the down comes again (without fail) and you're back to making dumb decisions and feeling like life is shit.

i don't have any diagnosed disorders (yet) but have many MANY character flaws, everybody that knows me knows that, and even people who don't know probably do

I remember reading you were bi-polar?

is not officially disgnosed

That doesn't really sound like Bipolar disorder to me - I am diagnosed.

The moodswings don't just come out of nowhere, really. It's not like you'll be happy one second then depressed an hour later, then angry five minutes after that - the moodswings are a lot more gradual.

I'm diagnosed with rapid cycling, and that just means I have a higher than average amount of episodes per year..

sounds a bit more like something manic depressive to me.

bipolar is manic depressive.

Also, why are people claiming to be bipolar then also saying they haven't been diagnosed?

I don't really like it when people do that either.
It has created quite some ' hypes' around the words 'depressed' and 'adhd'.
Eitherway, I don't know if bi-polar is manic depressive. The things the two previous posters describe sound pretty different to me.

Nah, I'm telling you they're synonymous. I'm bipolar, type 1.
Bipolar disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

See?

I really kind of hate how commonplace it is to call yourself "bipolar" just because you're a little moody sometimes. It's a lot more than that. I don't know if they do this in your country, but here they pass out meds (often the wrong ones) like sweeties

It's strange. I don't seem to know anyone who's diagnosed as bipolar, but nearly all my friends seem autistic or are actually diagnosed with autism. I don't even like most Autistic people :D.
And overhere two people are diagnosed as being bi-polar and a third one thinks he is bi-polar.
Eitherway, all these personality disorders overlap in a lot of ways.

How does being bi-polar affect your life?

I think they're too easy prescribing meds, too.
Altough I think the right meds can make your life easier, they often seem to just try some meds to see what happens. It doesn't seem all that scientifically correct.

It doesn't, anymore, really. The only thing I have to do about it now is remember to take my meds forever and eat properly and don't do drugs or alcohol.

I've been diagnosed several different times with it since I was 14/15, and I am nearly 21 now. It started to manifest in its fullness when I was around 19. That was truly awful, I felt like I had no control over myself, like I was living in body only and controlled by impulse. It was like watching your brain make the absolute worst decisions for yourself. When I was around 17, I was put into a mental facility because of my drug abuse (I'm an opiate addict) and put on a med called Abilify. Long story short, it nearly killed me because of side effects I wasn't aware of. A lot of my teenage years were pretty much mistakes made by my inability to maintain a pharmaceutical regimen that didn't include narcotics :P Obviously hindering my brain's ability to function in any normal way and exacerbating the symptoms I had. When I was 19, an ex fiancee basically conned me into getting medicated. I'm thankful for this, though. I eventually tracked my progression of "episodes" per the medical terminology. I did indeed have bipolar one, and was more prone to episodes of mania which include but are not limited to impulsive behavior, promiscuity, spending sprees, irritability, decreased need for sleep and food and such things. I was extremely scared of trying meds again, because the meds after Abilify had made me suicidal. I worked up the courage to admit to myself my first med (Lamictal) worked for me and the only reason I denied that it did was because it affects the seratonin in a way that makes opiates not work. I gave up on that, and ended up ****ing up all over again. I could not control myself at all. I would spend horrible amounts on stupid ****, I was horribly promiscuous...people would tell me that I was terrifying because talking to me, I would switch to happy to irritable to flirtatious very quickly (an obvious manic episode). I ended up abusing drugs again because I believed they'd keep me "level". I ended up in detox for my addiction and now I've been out and drug free and medicated for 5 months. Medication makes it easier to deal with completely. I also take an ADHD/ADD drug as well. The main reason for this is that ADHD/ADD symptoms are very similar to those of bipolar.

The only thing about bipolar people don't realise, is that it makes you have a wonderful creative thinking process. Episodes are ****ing terrible though. I hate it so much when people say they're bipolar for attention. It makes a serious, debilitating illness a ****ing joke with people.

Paloma I'll be replying to this tomorrow.
Not because I don't give a ****. I really love how open you are about this and I'm really interested in your story (probably even a bit concerned about you, which is strange, but still :)).
But it's 4:21am and I'm not very awake. I'll have to read your posting thoroughly and think about how to reply to it. I'll try my best :)

My ex-girlfriend (Her name is Fleur by the way. I don't like to call her ex-girlfriend as I speak to her everyday and my life would be rubbish without her. I also don't like to call her 'a friend', because she's so much more to me than that. So I'm going to use her name from now on) is actually using abilify. It works pretty well for her, altough (and this is what we were talking about earlier, that's why I'm replying to this now and save the rest for tomorrow) she is using it because of another medication that was making her numb. And then because abilify makes her nervous and shaky, she's having another medicine (and ADHD drug, I believe it's called Dexaphetamine) to suppress that...
Altough I must admit that these meds work really, really well for her, I still don't like the ease with which these medicines are prescribed to her. It't still chemical **** that's put into your body and I don't really like that.

Eitherway, I'll be back tomorrow to reply to the rest of your posting.
I'm sorry I can't do that now.

Paloma, I'm back ;).
It's 4:39am already so I probably could give you a better reply at a different time, but here goes :)

I'm glad to hear that :)

So you knew all the time that you were heading in a totally wrong direction, but couldn't do anything about it, really? That sounds like an awful way to live your life.

When you're really down and out it's sometimes quite hard to see what is actually caused (or solved) by the meds you're taking. I guess you probably didn't have proper (or enough) guidance from a psychiatrist at that time?
Glad you're still here, Paloma :)

I'm having a hard time understanding what your ex fiancee exactly did for you. I tried translating 'conned', but Google translate seems to come op with a lot of nonsense. I suppose he sort of forced you? Please explain :).

I must say that the symptoms you describe here sort of remind me of the symptoms you get when you suffer from borderline. Have they ever tested you for that?

I again get the idea you didn't have the proper help whilst taking the medicines. It almost seams as if they just provided you with them and then let you figure everything else out by yourself. Weren't you warned about the risks/side effects these medicins could have on your behaviour?
I just wonder, what eventualy made you decide to take your meds?
And how are you now? I mean, you told me your bi-polarity doesn't effect your life that much anymore, but as far as I can see all these things you have been through have happened pretty recently. It really took a turn for the better all of a sudden, didn't it?

We have a famous soccerplayer here who once said "every downside has it's upside and the other way around". And he's probably right. You can always find a good thing coming from a bad thing and good things happening to you always have some sort of downside.
I can't think of any mental disorder that doesn't come with a positive site.
You have a very creative thinking process (I can see that in your pictures, indeed), I (and that really has to do with my sort of Autism) have a very strong feeling of justice and I'm quite good with languages. I also have a lot of eye (and ear, in my case) for detail. Which could be very convenient now and then.

Still I'm not sure if, had I been given the choice, I would really want to live this life. It's not easy ;). But I must admit there's some upsides to every disorder. And I'm glad you are able to see yours. I hope you will exploit them :)

"Conned" means basically the same thing as "tricked".

Ah, I got as far as 'cheated', so I could have figured that.
Thanks for the explanation.

I got to know my ex-girlfriend when she was 14.
Exactly 10 years ago, today (we can't even celebrate that because of her school, damned...).
And From her 14th to her 21st I've been trying to convince her that she should get some help. You really need to be patient sometimes.
Eitherway, this help partly caused us to split up. Which is sad, but she's become so much happier now, I guess it was worth it ;).
Eitherway, I had to convince her to take some sort of medication, too.
And now I'm the one who tells her to take it easy on the meds *sigh*.
Man people are complicated!

I have suppressed depression, I have apparently been depressed since my wife died in 1978 at age 20. I had been anxious and a bit quick tempered a few months back, so much so that I went to see my doctor for some tests. I now see a psychologist and seem to be a lot better and understand what has made me feel the way I do. I now have the tools to help me repress my anger and feel better towards myself and others in general. I am not on any medication for this and I only have 2 more sessions.

So you feel better than you have done in the past 32 years?
That's great man. What made you go to the doctor in the first place?
I suppose you have been experiencing problems since 1978, so what was it that made you decide to take action, now?

I was getting sh!tty with everyone in my life, I was Mr. Angry. But i think stress at work brought that to the surface otherwise I would still be a simmering pot waiting to boil over.

Well you seem to be coping just fine here.
I'm not sure what you were like before, but you're not Mr. Angry now ;).

No, he's gone

Keep him out ;).

No problemo

i've never been diagnosed of anything (never gave anyone the opportunity), but i'm definitely not right.

i wouldn't say i have full blown OCD, but i do exhibit a lot of compulsive behaviors. i have a pair of pants that i have to wear on mondays. if i get up in the middle of the night to pee, i have to drink eight slugs of peach flavored iced tea. i stand in the same spot on the subway each day, and if someone's there, i wait for the next train. things like that...

plus i spend an incredible amount of time collecting, sorting and categorizing digital things. i've poured hundreds and hundreds of hours into tagging my music collection, sorting my retro video game collection, cataloging my digital comics, and making sure my 2tb of cartoons and tv shows is in order.

i don't like unfamiliar places or paths. i'll go far out of my way to get someplace if i can take a route i know well. this is especially true if i'm driving.

i also hate going into unfamiliar shops and other public places, and if i know i have to, i am anxious about it all day, to the point that i am almost shaking when it finally happens.

i could go on but i'm at work and i should be working...

You fit right in man.
And I'm pretty sure you have something autistic. Pretty sure it's aspergers.
Do you mind doing a (serious, but short) internet test to find out?
I could send you a link. You don't have to post the result here ;D.

yeah why not, send me the link