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Celladorina 12-10-2010 03:56 AM

The Slut Debate
 
Can women sleep around without being considered a slut? Is it actually possible? Does everyone here believe it is slutty for a woman to have multiple sexual partners? If your friends, sisters and grandmothers were doing it would you call them a slut?

And is the term man slut widely used enough? If women get called a slut, why shouldn't a man if he carries out the same behavior defined as a slut.

Disclaimer: in no way do I think people should be called sluts in the first place but it is an issue and it makes me uncomfortable about making my sexual decisions.

Mojo 12-10-2010 04:01 AM

Why does everyone always assume that men can get away with this without criticism yet women cant?

A slut is a slut in my opinion, regardless of gender.

Celladorina 12-10-2010 04:02 AM

But is it really so wrong to sleep with lots of different people? I think that is my underlining question here.

Mojo 12-10-2010 04:07 AM

People should do whatever they want. But for me personally, I would use that term where someone has what I would consider to be an excessive number of casual sexual partners or behaves in quite a careless manner.

Dirty 12-10-2010 04:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vanilla (Post 968039)
Can women sleep around without being considered a slut? Is it actually possible? Does everyone here believe it is slutty for a woman to have multiple sexual partners? If your friends, sisters and grandmothers were doing it would you call them a slut?

And is the term man slut widely used enough? If women get called a slut, why shouldn't a man if he carries out the same behavior defined as a slut.

Disclaimer: in no way do I think people should be called sluts in the first place but it is an issue and it makes me uncomfortable about making my sexual decisions.

When women sleep around, it's seen as a bad thing. Because guys have egos, and they don't want their girlfriend or wife to have slept with like 50 guys. I don't think girls care as much about how many people their boyfriend has slept with. If a guy has slept with a lot of girls, it'll give a sense of value to them in the eyes of a lot of women. 'If they are getting laid so much, they must be doing something right!' Some girls might be 'impressed' for lack of a better word, that their man has succeeded in attracting so many girls. At the same time, a guy won't be impressed because it's easier for a girl to find partners. If an average looking girl just wants to have sex with a more attractive guy, the chances are that guy isn't gonna refuse sex. But if an average looking guy just wants to have sex with a more attractive girl, there's a very high chance she will refuse.

I don't think many men would really care or be offended by being called a slut. Most would probably just shrug it off. They are getting laid, who cares? Women however will get offended, because like I said the value of a woman to a potential boyfriend or husband might decrease, whereas a mans value to a potential mate probably isnt going to decrease because he sleeps around. Think of it as this... Everyone likes a master key. It opens all kinds of doors. It's awesome! But a lock isn't very good if tons of keys can open it, is it?

As for my opinion on a slut... Kinda gotta go case by case basis, but really it depends on 1) How many guys shes banged who she wasn't dating and 2) How easy she is.

*Cue posts flaming me*

MoonlitSunshine 12-10-2010 04:37 AM

I've had two big relationships in my life. One was with a girl who was a virgin, one is with a girl who pretty much slept with anyone she felt like. I know damn well which relationship has better sex :P

To be honest, I have absolutely no problems with girls sleeping around. I think that it's good, to a great extent, so long as you're careful, and it's exactly the same with guys. Sleep with whoever you want, but make sure that you don't overdo it. There is definitely such a thing as a slut, but I'd define a slut as someone who'd sleep with pretty much anyone, whereas a girl who likes to sleep around is, to me, entirely different. There's an element of choice to a girl/guy with sexual experience that a slut doesn't really have. She/he just does it.. cause. I'm not even sure why, maybe they like sex so much that they don't care who it's with, maybe they're just easy.

Certainly, I think that there shouldn't be a differential between a man-slut and a girl-slut. The whole idea of a "player" is ridiculous in itself, though I agree with Dirty in that I can see exactly where it comes from in terms of our social structure. Sometimes I feel daunted as to the amount of experience my gf has over my own, even when I know that she's told me a million times that she's more than happy with me.

Dirty 12-10-2010 04:50 AM

I feel like i kinda understand why the term is different for guys and gals.

A more basic thought is this... The different way women and men look at sexual experience... If a guy has a lot of experience, then thats good in a females eyes. He probably knows what he is doing by now sexually and he obviously has qualities that attract many women. If a guy hasn't had much sex, girls will wonder why and think hes a loser. If a girl has a lot of sex, the experience isnt as much related to performance as it is with guys. Any girl can lay on her back and take a shafting. But not every guy can be good at giving a shafting... and who is most likely to be bad at sex? Virgins, or guys who havent had much sex.

MoonlitSunshine 12-10-2010 06:38 AM

Request: if you're going to vote in a poll, post your reasonings pl0x? It gets quite annoying when a thread is being constantly bumped up and no new posts are added :P

Dirty 12-10-2010 06:41 AM

What's the real question? Do we think there is such a thing as a slut?

MoonlitSunshine 12-10-2010 06:46 AM

I think there's such a thing as a slut, but as I said in my original post, it's not as simple as how it's normally defined. This:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vanilla (Post 968042)
But is it really so wrong to sleep with lots of different people? I think that is my underlining question here.

Is the question at hand. Answer, for me: hell no. In fact, if life had worked out differently for me, I would have, and I would wish my children to as well. Sleep around, find out what you like, but by all means don't overdo it. There's a difference to being up for a bit and being the town bicycle, ya know? Sleep with anyone you want to sleep with, but don't sleep with anyone for the sake of sleeping with someone. And always use protection, regardless of whether you're on the pill or have other contraception. STI/D's are nasty things.


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