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Old 02-13-2011, 03:26 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Men, are you more huggy these days?

My mom and I were out for breakfast yesterday and not too far away a group of 8 or so men, late 40ish, 50s, got up to leave and they were hugging saying bye.
We were talking about how you see that more these days, men hugging each other. It's becoming more accepted as men seem to grow up (I mean emotionally). It's really nice to see, kind of heartwarming. I bet they are more emotionally healthy as well, for several reasons.

So what about you guys? Do you hug your guy buddies more when you meet up or depart? Do you feel there's less negative stigma around men hugging these days? How does it make you feel about yourself?
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Old 02-13-2011, 03:30 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Oh god, this thread is right down s_k's alley.

Only person I hug is my brother. I only see him once every month or two and I always give him a bro hug when I leave. I don't hug my friends, I'm fine with one of those handshakes where you grab hands and kinda bump shoulders, you know what I mean. I don't think hugging has anything to do with emotional health, I don't really find it heartwarming or anything. Some people are more touchy-feely than others and I am totally fine with not being one of those people. Seems like most people I've been around are the same way. I don't really think there's a negative attitude towards people who hug, I couldn't care less what someone else does, but for me it's just a little too close.
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Old 02-13-2011, 03:30 PM   #3 (permalink)
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It depends on which friends we're talking about, but I definetly have some that I hug if it's been a while since last time I saw them. I feel that by far, it's something that happens when we meet and generally not when we depart. Then it's bye-bye and perhaps a wave

edit :

The shake hand and bump shoulder culture is virtually non-existant here as far as I know.
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Old 02-13-2011, 03:42 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Dirty sums up my thoughts about this exactly, even to the point that the only person I really hug is my brother.
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Old 02-13-2011, 03:44 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alli-oop View Post
It's becoming more accepted as men seem to grow up (I mean emotionally).
Is this sentence as sexist as it sounds or am I just misreading it?
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Old 02-13-2011, 03:59 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Uhh..no..im not for the hugging routine. Unless its a get together with friends or family you havent seen in a long time and your all inebriated. Then maybe its ok for guys to hug. Other than that im only giving my son a hug. For the obvious reasons parents hug their kids.
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Old 02-13-2011, 04:02 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I shake hands with my friends, as in the 'I have a job' shake - although I have one friend who I will hug if its been a while since I've seen him. I'm not big on the upwards pointing handshake with shoulder bump, its neither a handshake or a hug, but wants to be both.
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Old 02-13-2011, 04:15 PM   #8 (permalink)
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There's a few guys I know who'll give their friends bro hugs and such, but I don't think men are more "huggy"
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Old 02-13-2011, 04:22 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alli-oop View Post
My mom and I were out for breakfast yesterday and not too far away a group of 8 or so men, late 40ish, 50s, got up to leave and they were hugging saying bye.
We were talking about how you see that more these days, men hugging each other. It's becoming more accepted as men seem to grow up (I mean emotionally). It's really nice to see, kind of heartwarming. I bet they are more emotionally healthy as well, for several reasons.

So what about you guys? Do you hug your guy buddies more when you meet up or depart? Do you feel there's less negative stigma around men hugging these days? How does it make you feel about yourself?
I think it's usually either situational, or custom-related.
You can't just assume that those 8 men were casual friends who liked to hug. Maybe they were family? Maybe they were very close friends? Maybe they observed different traditions? Hell, they could have even been church-goers at a non-denominational church. I know those guys hug like there's no tomorrow...
I wouldn't pose a question based on that occurrence without having more details, but generally, most people I've met throughout my life that I know enough to speak for will say that hugs between men are shared with close family and/or close friends. And that demographic will usually involve older men who don't have the same social hangups younger men tend to have. But I can't apply that to everyone. Some folks just express things in different ways.
Custom-wise, there can be wide differences. For instance, during my time in Iraq and Kuwait, it was common to see male friends holding hands. For them, hand holding is a sign of friendship, and not interpreted in the same way westerners may typically interpret it. Some customs are carried over with people who immigrate, and some just run in family tradition or habits.
It just goes to show you that there can be a variety of factors behind occurrences you witness, and viewing them as a broad movement or relating it to emotional health is probably not going to be accurate.
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Old 02-13-2011, 04:35 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I fucking hug a lot, maybe because I'm a pretty huggable guy. But yeah, I hug my buds, girlfriends, it's pretty normal though. I'm actually kinda fond of hugs.
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