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A monk went to a Taoist Master, asking: "What happens when we die?"
"I don't know", replied the Master. "But I thought you were a Taoist Master!", said the monk. "I am. But not a dead one.", replied the Master. |
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If you enjoyed that, a good book of koans and such is Zen Flesh Zen Bones: http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/...4,203,200_.jpg |
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Interesting thread.
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A famous Zen koan in visual form:
Classic. |
Good as any place for a little Zen humour:
A Zen monk walks up to a hot dog vendor and says: "Make me one with everything." The hot dog vendor prepares the hot dog and gives it to the monk. The monk hands him a $20 bill then waits for his change. The hot dog vendor says: "Change comes from within." Two Zen monks were walking down the road. First monk says: "These pine trees are magnificent." The second monk slaps him across the face. First monk: "Why did you do that?" "I'm a Zen monk so I can get away with all kinds of weird stuff like that." :laughing: |
Once there was a monk who was an expert on the Diamond Sutra, and as books were very valuable in his day, he carried the only copy in his part of the world on his back. He was widely sought after for his readings and insight into the Diamond Sutra, and very successful at propounding its profundities to not only monks and masters but to the lay people as well.
Thus the people of that region came to know of the Diamond Sutra, and as the monk was traveling on a mountain road, he came upon an old woman selling tea and cakes. The hungry monk would have loved to refresh himself, but alas, he had no money. He told the old woman, "I have upon my back a treasure beyond knowing -- the Diamond Sutra. If you will give me some tea and cakes, I will tell you of this great treasure of knowledge." The old woman knew something of the Diamond Sutra herself, and proposed her own bargain. She said, "Oh learned monk, if you will answer a simple question, I will give you tea and cakes." To this the monk readily agreed. The woman then said, "When you eat these cakes, are you eating with the mind of the past, the mind of the present or the mind of the future?" No answer occurred to the monk, so he took the pack from his back and got out the text of the Diamond Sutra, hoping he could find the answer. As he studied and pondered, the day grew late and the old woman packed up her things to go home for the day. "You are a foolish monk indeed," said the old woman as she left the hungry monk in his quandary. "You eat the tea and cakes with your mouth." |
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Two men meet on the street.
One asks the other: "Hi, how are you?" The other one replies: "I'm fine, thanks." "And how's your son? Is he still unemployed?" "Yes, he is. But he is meditating now." "Meditating? What's that?" "I don't know. But it's better than sitting around and doing nothing!" Why don't Buddhists vacuum in the corners? Because they have no attachments. One Buddhist monk leaned over to another and quietly asked, "Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?" |
One pupil said: I think therefore I am.
The Zen master said: You think you are. One pupil said: I am what I think. The master said: Fat chance! |
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