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Old 04-04-2017, 05:13 PM   #4351 (permalink)
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That's almost 40% of 125% of the time! I'm impressed!
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Old 04-04-2017, 05:16 PM   #4352 (permalink)
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Is Yogi Berra the posterchild for the negative effects of not wearing a helmet while at bat or something? I don't get why people love the guy--he's a straight up idiot.

Just look at this ****
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Interviewer: What do you expect is in store for the future of jazz trumpet?

Yogi: I'm thinkin' there'll be a group of guys who've never met talkin' about it all the time...

Interviewer: Can you explain jazz?

Yogi: I can't, but I will. 90% of all jazz is half improvisation. The other half is the part people play while others are playing something they never played with anyone who played that part. So if you play the wrong part, its right. If you play the right part, it might be right if you play it wrong enough. But if you play it too right, it's wrong.

Interviewer: I don't understand.

Yogi: Anyone who understands jazz knows that you can't understand it. It's too complicated. That's whats so simple about it.

Interviewer: Do you understand it?

Yogi: No. That's why I can explain it. If I understood it, I wouldn't know anything about it.

Interviewer: Are there any great jazz players alive today?

Yogi: No. All the great jazz players alive today are dead. Except for the ones that are still alive. But so many of them are dead, that the ones that are still alive are dying to be like the ones that are dead. Some would kill for it.

Interviewer: What is syncopation?

Yogi: That's when the note that you should hear now happens either before or after you hear it. In jazz, you don't hear notes when they happen because that would be some other type of music. Other types of music can be jazz, but only if they're the same as something different from those other kinds.

Interviewer: Now I really don't understand.

Yogi: I haven't taught you enough for you to not understand jazz that well.
That's retarded as balls, Yogi. You're not witty.
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Old 04-04-2017, 05:27 PM   #4353 (permalink)
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Yogi > Einstein

If not for baseball the dude could have been George Carlin.
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Old 04-04-2017, 05:30 PM   #4354 (permalink)
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"I really didn't say everything I said." - Yogi Berra
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Old 04-04-2017, 05:31 PM   #4355 (permalink)
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"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

Aww Einstein's a downer just like me. He gets the edge.
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Old 04-04-2017, 05:32 PM   #4356 (permalink)
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I like that as a younger person I wouldn't have understood the irrational, off putting rage behind this statement.
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Old 04-04-2017, 05:39 PM   #4357 (permalink)
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I like that as a younger person I wouldn't have understood the irrational, off putting rage behind this statement.
Whatever you do, don't ever google image "Keisha Bikini". Seriously. Suicide hotlines simply can't react that fast.
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Old 04-04-2017, 05:41 PM   #4358 (permalink)
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Who's Keisha?
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Old 04-04-2017, 05:51 PM   #4359 (permalink)
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Who's Keisha?
Keisha Nightly
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Old 04-04-2017, 05:59 PM   #4360 (permalink)
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Keisha Nightly
You mean that Natalie Portman wannabe from Pirates of the Caribbean?
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