What Is Your Biggest Fear?
 

Since my sister passed away, my mom, grandma and I have been caring for her 4 children. In the not-so-distant future, I will be caring for 2 elderly people and 4 children all by myself. That scares the shit out of me.

I have a few categories that I feel each need to be an answer to this question.

I don't fear death too much. I just hope I don't die from a fire of some sort. My dad is a firefighter. I've seen pictures. I've been shown these photos in order to be safer in the future with fire prevention. He also showed me the Station House fire in CT for the first time. I scope out fire exists in every new building I step in now. His handling of this is both incredibly cruel and has added a gigantic fear to my life but is also very responsible and has caused me to really be safe about these things. I check outlets and stuff a lot. I've caught two fires before they got out of control at friends houses because of this.

An immediate physical fear I have is heights. That one grew as I got older. I used to climb trees and sh*t. I can't do that anymore. I get panic attacks, albeit small, when I do touristy things like climbing bell towers and stuff. I did the Precipice Trail when I was in Acadia and it was basically an hour long anxiety attack all the way up. Looked like this...

https://www.citrusmilo.com/acadiagui...icetrail01.jpg

Finally, I've been having a lot of existential fear lately about the people I love. So I guess, right now, the biggest fear I have as I get older is losing the people that I rely on for guidance, company, and love. The fear of being alive yet alone is just something I'm not ready for even though I genuinely like being alone. As much as I am solitary, I love calling my friends or having dinner with my family. I just like to spend my free time by myself. The fear of never knowing when our time will be up is what scares me the most.

Intellectual complacency
Becoming my father
Wildfires

I’m afraid that whatever in me that snapped is irreparable. That I’m not climbing out of this hole mentally, physically, or financially.

Getting stuck in one, or the damage that it does to the planet?

They're both bad but as a far as fear goes, getting stuck in one is much more real and immediate where I live.

In yourself or others?

Yes.

Both. Got it.

I have a weird fear of deep waters. Just looking at a world map and imagining how vast and deep the dark blue areas in the large oceans are gives me the willies.

I feel you. I also look at those same waters with great wonder. Like, SOOO much of the Earth is covered by water and is yet to be explored. Who knows what's down there?

I also have the fear of big water. I didn't know I had it until I went out on a chartered fishing boat.

We got out to where I couldn't see the land and I freaked. Went below and stayed there drinking the rest of the day.

As long as I can see the land, I'm ok. I'm not a good swimmer, and if the boat sinks, I'm goin g to drown.

But, if I can see land, at least I know I'm swimming the right way. The thought of swimming away from land and not knowing it...FREAKED OUT.



Anyhow, that's not my biggest fear.


My biggest fear is the same as any parent. Losing my kids.

You're not supposed to outlive your children.

MERIT's going down dark paths today....

Man, I feel for you. I'm only looking after one person and that is hard as ****. Hope you can cope. Fair play to you.

Linked to that, my biggest fear of course is dying before my sister. It's not just the dying (well, it is: that scares the **** out of me) but also thinking how she would get along without me. At my age, the constant fear of course is that I'll get cancer or some other horrible disease. Also, I've had small, very small, episodes of either forgetting what I've just done or what I wanted to do, or doing something silly like putting a cup in the microwave and then opening the fridge to take it out, and I really really REALLY hope I'm not down for the Big A. That would scare the living crap out of me.

I am less scared of death now than I was a few years ago.

death

Anything in particular?

nope. the idea that you, me, everyone we have ever met and will ever meet will someone day be nothing more than a very distant memory is absolutely terrifying to me.

would say i’m more scared of dying young than anything else though

My greatest fear is that people around me will realize the worst about me but I will be completely ignorant. It won't destroy my life obviously because that **** is silent. But it will be a slow death of which I won't even be aware until I realize that everything I ever loved and wanted is laughing at me.

And when I realize what is happening everyone will be too busy laughing to even realize or care that I am destroyed.

I'm OK if I'm a distant memory tbh so I can't relate to that. What worries me the most is the experience of passing and what it is like, what do you feel as the lights switch off, how aware are you, is it peaceful and that sort of thing. I don't believe in an afterlife as such but then I think your last experience (death) could feel like one. It's a lot to think about.

Same here. Fortunately, I didn't pass it on.

https://scontent.fsan1-2.fna.fbcdn.n...03&oe=5B7B8B2A

Chick is crazy.

Tallest mountain is Everest at 29+K feet. 5.5 miles above sea level.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xKQO5CPG8j...Resolution.jpg

Deepest part of the ocean is 36+K feet. :yikes:

this as well. i mean, i understand the necessity of death and that it is uncontrollable. but the mystery of it all is still something that i really struggle to cope with.

You're about to stop as a lifeform. I'm just going to say that no matter your belief if religion or the afterlife, I imagine every single person who faces death in that last instant is probably terrified beyond what any kind of torture a human can inflict on another human. It's simply the question everyone has ever asked about themselves... will I be gone?

You could die so quickly you wouldn't even be aware of it tbh.

I think, in your last few cohesive moments before you die, heaven and hell truly come into focus in the whole "life flashing before your eyes" kinda way.

If you were basically a good person, who looked out for others, cherished those close to you, and flat out tried to be a nice human being = dying in a happy place.

If you were a prick who thought mostly about yourself, and what you could gain or achieve, regardless of who you stepped on = dying very miserable.

In a way it would almost feel like being robbed of the most truly existential experience anyone could experience. But who would choose to experience it?

What makes you think this? There are guys who have sh*t on so many people in life and didn't care who they hurt, why would they then die miserable?

In a way I am intrigued.

I'm pretty sure that we've talked about this before, but that doesn't so much scare me as it does intrigue me.

EDIT: Didn't even see your post above.

While this kind of goes against the curiosity that I mentioned above, what you describe is all I can think about when someone I know passes. Knowing that they had to experience that affects me more than knowing that I'll never see them again.

In your last few moments, what will be your regrets? I think everyone thinks about regrets when they are close to dying. Water's summed it up perfectly with Dogs.

Mine will be that I never got to play an original 59 Les Paul through a mid 60s Marshall Plexi, with everything dimmed.

"Damn, I wish I had noticed that bus."

You could be so drunk on a night out, walk home and if you are hit by a car you wouldn't be thinking about anything, what happens then? Also as I said, you could die so quickly you wouldn't be aware, or die in your sleep.

It only really works if you know you're gonna die and have time to reflect and even then I don't think it makes sense because I think there are people who genuinely don't care who they've sh*t on.

I've talked to a number of doctors about this while doing research on a short story I was writing. There's going to be a few ticks where there's still oxygenated blood in your brain even after the bus runs you over. They all agree that the brain will keep working until fully starved, and will probably still comprehend the situation. Can't be proven obviously.

That being said, stick a shotgun in your mouth and all bets are off.

The life flashing before your eyes idea is somewhat supported by the heightened level of brain activity that happens right before death as well.

That's obviously true, but at what level do you comprehend what's happening? You could be aware you are alive but not in a state to think about things. Have you ever been punched in the face or knocked out? Plenty of oxygenated blood in your brain, but you don't have a clue what's happening in the moment.

Rush of chemicals to help with the trauma of passing?

Just going back to what Chula said about dying happy v dying miserable depending on how you've lived your life. I can't remember where I heard it but I do love the idea, even if I don't believe in it. Some religion or something believes that when we die we end up at the bottom of a mountain. Atop the mountain, at the summit, is heaven or paradise or whatever, so you have to climb the mountain.

BUT...

You have to do so carrying all the people who you ****ed over in your life. So if you're a real bad person who caused a lot of hurt, killed or otherwise wronged people, you're going to have a pretty heavy burden to carry. Makes the whole idea of paying for your sins in the afterlife really work.

Advice for everyone: Lift weights and take up rock climbing.

And get that back problem seen to. :D

That's pretty fascinating - and hard to wrap my mind around. It's hard to picture the scale of those heights and depths.

Meanwhile, the highest natural point in Denmark is a pathetic 170,86m :laughing:

You ever just walk 22 and a half miles? It's like that but straight down.

That's 36km. Even if the water pressure wasn't an issue, I'd never want to go anywhere near deep waters like that in even the safest submarine ever built.

Also, I like illustrations like this:

https://image.shutterstock.com/z/sto...-174825566.jpg