^would rather watch Ali G than have sex with a woman (like he really has a choice though)

^ Don't know if I should answer that one.

^c*m swigger.

^c*m sipper.

^attends c*m drinkers anonymous

^There's nothing anonymous about his c*m drinking.

^gets turned on by big weiners

^ Doesn't have a big weiner. Has a small one instead.

^Knows from experience.

^wishes he knows as well, all this watching others have fun isn't getting him up anymore.