Haven't you used that one before?

dear josh homme,

i can't throw myself away
i'm not photos after all

regards,
mr. dave

probably, but it applies to most bitches

Dear Metallica
I downloaded St. Anger for free when it came out. You can have it back now.

Dear Chevelle,

Apparently, you don't get it. Stop. Give it up.

Sincerely,
nonsubmissivewife

Dear Chevelle,

I got your back, yo.

Always,
WWWP

Dear Otis,

I know you know, now get off your ass and do something, you lazy bastard.

Sincerely,
-Toosit

Dear Pete Doherty,

Dude get it together! You're wasting all that talent you have on drugs & ****. Get back together with Carl were you to fit so perfectly together. You're like the Morrissey to his Marr.

PS,
So what was the deal between you and Carl anyway? I got the feeling at times that you 2 were lovers? Not that it matters because you guys made some great music together.

Love,
Kenny

Dear Mr. Fripp,
Don't try to go all Heavy again, just make Thrak II.

Dear Rolling Stones,

I feel your pain, I can't get no satisfaction either.

Matt