Gee... did she have to be with you in the bathroom when you were dropping deuces too?

Actually, I had a girlfriend that hated when I played the guitar. I tell myself she was just pissed because I spent too much time on it and wasn't paying attention to her, but I sometimes wonder if it was because I couldn't play worth a shit.

With two other men?

...

Why, that's just a slap in the face if you ask me.

Dunno. And no, I'm usually very happy with who I'm dating. I just prefer the breakup. Not for a sense of rebound or anything, or that I'm free again. I just like it. Weird.

She didn't like it because she thought I'd get good at an instrument, join a band, and leave her.

FUN FACT! She was being **** slapped in the face right as I entered.

I hope you took what happened at face value and left her.

1. At one point of my life video games were the best thing I'd ever seen. And then I found music. And then video games again.
2. I got the nickname "Kirby" because of my skin color/fat.
3. I have no intentions on losing any weight. I love being fat.
4. When I was young (about ten or so) I strongly detested Hip-Hop music. Now, I listen to Hip-Hop more than anything.
5. I've been told that I'm a very likeable person. I disagree on that point, however.
6. I'm way too sarcastic for my own good. It gets me in trouble a lot.
7. The first girlfriend I've ever had, I knew since I was four. We dated twice. She's married now.
8. I'm in a very happy relationship now. Three years and counting. No on and offs, or whatever.
9. I worry too much, and always think of the worst possible scenario.
10. If I don't like you, you usually won't be able to tell.
11. I'm too nice for my own good.
12. I almost got crushed by a tree once. It missed by a couple inches. My dad yelled at me, because I didn't move, and I lol'd.
13. I broke my friends wrist playing football once.
14. If my older brother or younger sister start gaining interest in any of the music I like, instead of feeling happy, I get instantly aggravated.
15. I have over a hundred HotWheels cars still in their packages from the ages 5-9.
16. One of the worst things that has ever happened to me was that I lost my Grandpa a couple weeks after my birthday. My family (me, mother, father and sister) lived with him since I was born. All he had been talking about was my graduation coming up, and he died a couple months prior. I was devastated.
17. My girlfriend sometimes questions my sexuality because of certain songs I take a liking to. (Smile.dk's "Butterfly" for instance).
18. After graduating high school, I haven't been able to get a job. I had an interview, and got out-qualified to push carts at Wal-Mart.
19. I eat Speghettios and Chef Boyardi Ravioli without heating them up, and out of the can.
20. It's rare that something happens in my neighborhood, but If I go out at night, I bring at least a pocket knife with me. Even to take out trash.
21. I cuss way too much. I only realized this after I started hanging out with my best-friend, Max. He rarely ever cusses.
22. I get very easily attached to people, and flirt without realizing I'm doing so.
23. Baby Spice from the Spice Girls was my first girlfriend.
24. I've slept in a twin-bed with two girls I had big crushes on at the same time. From that point on, I could die a happy man.
25. I'm in the running for a job at the local GameStop (two friends work there, both managers). And I am unbelievably excited about it.

Bonus:
I was asked by a lesbian to show her my penis. I did. She's now straight.
One of the girls that I slept in the twin bed with made me promise her that I would show her my member, if I ever break up with the current girlfriend. She's interested because I showed the ex-lesbo, and they had a talk about it, or something of the sort.

:rofl:

Dude, that's hard man. I think I would have honestly laughed when I walked in, then walked out confused thinking, WTF just happened? This is some inception shit going down.

Oh man that's just wrong. Like... porn-style **** slapped? That pointless tapping of the penis against the cheek?

Bwahaha, triple layered dream invasion.

It was a pop on the cheek. Like audible "POP"

I stayed with her for a week after that. Tried to talk it out. Most conversations went like this.

"How was your day, Angie?"
"Oh it was fine, yours?"
"Pretty good. Didn't run into any **** duos, so I would say it was uneventful."
"Ya know, you don't have to be so harsh."
"Oh, you're right, you already got enough of that."


I think the last time we spoke, several months after we'd broken up, she had asked what I've been up to, I spitefully commented that what I've been up to couldn't be compared to as many ****s as were up in her. Suffice it to say, we don't talk.

A dick slap in a dick slap in a dick slap in a dick slap.

Soundtrack to the relationship's inevitable demise.