It's not a lack of confidence, just I always start hating people I know. Kind of fucked up. I've been in "relationships" before, they just don't work out.

Eh, to some people alcohol can be just as bad. I've gotten to the point where I've drank too much/abused it too many times and now just one sip makes me feel better. Not a good sign in my opinion. And alcoholism runs in the family.

Just need change, that's all I guess.

so you are like the reverse of her situation.

Just because alcoholism runs in your family doesn't mean you will become an alcoholic. I used to think that way but I don't anymore. You are your own individual person. You can control whether or not you choose to become one you aren't predestined to become one.

1. I have, at last count, 23 tattoos. Four of them are for my ex-fiancee, who thinks because I have not bothered to cover them that I still hold a torch for him. He actually bullied me into them to prove that I was faithful. Ooooops.

2. A huge chunk of my life is concealing my various mental illnesses, disorders, and idiosyncrasies. I don't care about people thinking I'm crazy, I cannot stand pity or being used as inspiration porn to people who haven't been through the same horrible shit I have.

3. My favourite thing about myself is my empathetic nature, however there are two things (loneliness and self loathing) that I can't empathise with because I've never felt either, and it makes me feel guilty.

4. I like pain and having bruises,cuts, and other marks on my body.

5. I have really horrible eyesight

6. Dudes treat me like I am a living Manic Pixie Dream Girl trope.

7. I define myself as queer but I only do that for plebes. My actual identity is thus: I am a high femme presenting agender pansexual who is sexually inclined toward masculine but androgynous people of varied genders, but more romantically inclined to those who are female identified. I am almost incapable of having romantic feelings for a man. Except for a very special one. I'm completely genderless myself though, I don't even feel that my body is gendered which is strange as fuck to most genderqueer people since most experience bodily dysphoria, especially those who are AFAB (assigned female at birth) like myself.

8. I'm going back to school in the fall :)

9. I have a really terrible sense of humour, but I think of my persona as the biggest joke there is.

10. I always play a persona publicly, not because I'm afraid to be myself, but it's amusing to see how people react to the exaggerated caricature of myself that I portray. It also serves as a filter for people that don't deserve to see the deeper parts of my personality. Shallowness is such a turn off.

11. I once gave myself a black eye last year to see if anyone would even notice. I did it with a Beauty and the Beast light up mirror :laughing:

12. This is the longest I've gone without a boyfriend since I was about 13/14

13. I also once tried to cut my face off when I was 18/19

14. I fucking hate touching money

15. Cruelty comes disturbingly easy to me, I find someone's weak spots and exploit them without thinking when I'm hurt. I wish I wouldn't do this, sometimes. Other times I don't feel bad for it, because that person is a cunt.

16. My new middle name is Matilda

17. I'm torn between choosing a traditional, married (to a dude)/children/career life or moving to some rando field in Europe and starting a commune and having a Boston marriage with any (or all) of my female friends.

18. I never answer my phone when people call it

19. I don't know why I brought this thread back

20. I managed to not have to be hospitalised, put in rehab or detox, or in the psych ward so far this year. Yay!

21 - 25. Fuck the rest of this list

1. I love lists
2. I have a tattoo of a love heart on my hip
3. I love all animals
4. I like all types of music
5. I eat seafood most days
6. I live near the beach
7. I don't drink alcohol
8. I don't smoke
9. I don't do drugs
10. I have been in a same sex relationship
11. I like travelling
12. I love anything Versace
13. I am an only child
14. My parents are divorced
15. I love the outdoors
16. I like to cook
17. I want to dye my hair blonde
18. I love chocolate but only top quality ones
19. I would love to live in Europe
20. I love anything Valentino
21. I went to ballet lessons for 8 years
22. I play the piano
23. I love babies and want one (I think)
24. I love all sorts of food
25. I don't drink coffee

1 I can type around 100 wpm
2 Usually win @ Bingo multiple times
3 Colonial country is my home's theme
4 Pick, peel, and sometimes eat my hangnails
5 I hate bell peppers.
6 I'm not an outdoorsy person.
7 Suffer bad hayfever/allergies.
8 Swat flies, mosquitos, and gnats.
9 Haven't had a cup of coffee since Monday
10 Am not wearing a bra today
11 Think I might have vertigo
12 Hi
13 I get scared easily
14 " bite my cats ears (gently)
15 salivate sometimes when I'm cuddling them
16 have silver glitter on my acrylics
17 want to have all crystal
18 want to have all silver cutlery
19 Pee more than the average person
20 Think this is TMI even if I hadn't said that
21 think a kid generated this thread bc it should've stopped sooner
22 Don't like black licorice
23 Put Tobasco on almost everything
24 Get sweaty hands a lot
25 Love lily of the valley scent

1. I've two dogs and a pussy.
2. I'm in a band, Wolves In Sheepskin.
3. I had luscious locks for 8 years until I chopped it last summer.
4. My sister is one of the few people (I believe the number is less than ten) who have been attacked by a coyote in Arizona.
5. I wear glasses.
6. My group and I have been banned from three venues and two jam rooms for excessive noise.
7. I have a medical marijuana card, which I take full advantage of.
8. I'm a descendant of both the first woman to walk on Plymouth Rock as well as one of the women who were burned at the stake in Salem.
9. Apart from swatted insects, I've never killed an animal.
10. I could eat pho until I pop.
11. I've several hundred audio recordings of both my band and myself.
12. I live in a gated community because my dad's afraid of nearby Mexicans.
13. The first time I went to a horse race, I won $330 dollars on a single bet and got to go down to the winner's circle.
14. I've lived in California for most of my life, only to be interrupted by a 7 year stay in Arizona.
15. My smile is stuck.
16. I've a makeshift drumkit made up of cans, tins, and boxes.
17. I overdosed on Xanax, Vicoden, and a wealth of other pills when I was 16. I wrote an article about my experience and got an award for it.
18. I saw Slayer, Megadeth, and Testament for my first concert.
19. I'm 6' 4" and wear a size 14 shoe.
20. I can throat sing.
21. The only food I won't eat is shellfish unless it's in something like sushi.
22. My favourite artist is Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band.
23. My favourite film is There Will Be Blood.
24. I don't care for watching sports.
25. I'm 19 years old.

:tramp:

1. My favorite city is Sevilla, Spain.
2. I know how to count to 10 in 15 languages.
3. I can say the alphabet backwards in less than 3 seconds.
4. I am a snake according to the Chinese zodiac.
5. I have been to 30 countries.
6. My parents were never married but stayed together until I was 16.
7. I get winded really easily but I'm not overweight.
8. Although I only shave my legs when I have to, I am very careful about hair anywhere else (except on my head).
9. I do pilates at least twice a week and dance for 10 minutes on all the other days.
10. I like reading about, fantasizing about, and acting out S&M.
11. My favorite color is a combination of pink and purple.
12. I know how to develop pictures manually in a darkroom.
13. I love Volkswagen Cabrios.
14. I take three forms of transportation to work everyday: private minibus, ferry, and public bus.
15. I can read music and play violin.
16. I am an origami expert.
17. I write a lot; I've kept a diary since the age of 8.
18. I believe in good luck charms.
19. I'm an atheist.
20. I was class rank 9 in my high school class of 300.
21. I'm afraid of flying.
22. I usually get bored trying to watch TV or movies by myself.
23. I love computer and video games, though.
24. I'm allergic to cigarette smoke.
25. I have an 8-month old sister who is half Chinese and a baby model for a clothing magazine in Guangzhou.

THAT'S A WRAP!

You don't have to be overweight to be out of shape. Also if you smoke that makes sense as well.

but like a few more down you say you do pilates so ummm.

I suspect but have never confirmed that I may have a mild form of asthma. I literally cannot breathe after running for 30 seconds or so. But maybe I just need more exercise. :laughing: I dunno, my super lazy bf can run for like 20 minutes and just laughs at me when I fall behind. Every time. ALso I'm allergic to cigarette smoke and I have never smoked anything in my life. :shrug: