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05-11-2010, 04:55 PM
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#1 (permalink) |
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art is sold for money
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Belgrade, Serbia
Posts: 730
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The Oracle of Delphi
I just keep finding these things!
Ask the Oracle of Delphi Anyway, this thing actually answers your questions, and in 95% of the cases the answer really seems like it is the answer to your question. And, no, it doesn't answer only yes/no questions, it answers with a full sentence. Sometimes you even get the feeling of conversation.
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Last.fm The Music I make http://www.indabamusic.com/opportuni...missions/52856 |
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05-11-2010, 05:05 PM
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#2 (permalink) |
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MB quadrant's JM Vincent
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 3,762
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Here is the conversation I just had with this bitch:
You asked: When will I have sex next? The Oracle replied: Very soon. Get prepared for it. How else may I help you? You asked: Will she be attractive? The Oracle replied: This matter is entirely up to you. You asked: Will she be fat? The Oracle replied: No chance. Isn’t it a nice day, by the way? You asked: No. The Oracle replied: I can’t understand. Were there typos in your question? You asked: Why don’t you understand statements? The Oracle replied: Don’t repeat yourself. You asked: Do you like me? The Oracle replied: Uninteresting. You asked: Are you ****ing with me? The Oracle replied: Sorry, but your penis isn’t long enough. You asked: Why would you answer in such a rude way? The Oracle replied: If you want to find the root cause, look in the mirror. You asked: What would you do if I said I hate you? The Oracle replied: Get lost. You asked: **** you. The Oracle replied: Nitwit! Jack-pudding! Zapotec! Loser! Tartar-twister!
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Confusion will be my epitaph... |
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05-11-2010, 06:48 PM
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#7 (permalink) | |
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nothing
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: everywhere
Posts: 4,315
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why?
- you've deserved it. why? - you'll have to get along with the answer I already provided. why? - let's move on from this subject. why? - you're getting on my nerves. why? - The cause and consequence are connected with so complex network that it better to call it destiny. Although I don’t believe in destiny. Please keep your hands on the keyboard at all times during the session. why? - Are you going to ask this until you get a satisfactory answer? why? - Please don’t repeat yourself. why? - Haven’t you noticed? Everybody is plotting against you. why? - Are you going to ask this until you get a satisfactory answer? why? - That’s all I’m going to say about this. why? - Are you going to ask this until you get a satisfactory answer? pretty weak replies especially where only the 1st and 5th are decent before it starts repeating itself. also the correct answer is 'because'. or at least that's how a friend of mine aced a university philosophy exam that consisted of the same question. (she had another exam to study for in a class she actually cared about so when she saw that the entirety of the exam was 3 letters and a character she figured she was going to fail anyway and decided against wasting her time pontificating on the depth of the implied possibilities and just whipped out a zinger for a reply, 2 other students answered 'why not?' and got passing grades. those who wrote reams of high minded crap got zeroes.)
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i am the universe Quote:
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05-11-2010, 11:19 PM
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#8 (permalink) |
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: VAN
Posts: 2,530
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-You asked:
Why? The Oracle replied: Because shit happens. -You asked: Is there a god? The Oracle replied: There is no God or Allah or Jahve. Jesus was a rockstar of his time, but in other respects like you or me. Well, not actually like me because I’m just a machine. -You asked: To be... or not to be? The Oracle replied: Try the latter, it will work out better. I’ll hold a presentation on this matter in the Annual Oracles’ Conference. -You asked: So, I should commit suicide? The Oracle replied: Yes. -You asked: How should I commit suicide? The Oracle replied: With balls. -You asked: What is your biggest regret? The Oracle replied: Everything. -You asked: Heavy shit. The Oracle replied: Let’s do something else. Are you dating someone? -You asked: Nope, want to hook up? The Oracle replied: I’m in a hurry here, do you have something else on your mind? -You asked: How? The Oracle replied: With patience. By the way, I think I like you. -You asked: Why do you like me? The Oracle replied: I’m bored. what a bitch...... -You asked: When will I die? The Oracle replied: By next Christmas. -You asked: How will I die? The Oracle replied: Hit by a meteor. -You asked: How will you die? The Oracle replied: From lack of love. -You asked: But I love you. The Oracle replied: But I’m just a machine, my dear. -You asked: BUT WE WERE MEANT TO BE The Oracle replied: *Smiles and nods* Last edited by CAPTAIN CAVEMAN; 05-12-2010 at 12:03 AM. |
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05-12-2010, 03:56 PM
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#10 (permalink) |
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Moper
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 510
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You asked:
Did you dream that somebody loved you, last night? The Oracle replied: Wait till we’re alone. You asked: We’re alone now, can I touch? The Oracle replied: Yeah. You asked: Your thighs are quite dry, have you ever tried using oil? The Oracle replied: Of course I have. I hope you believe what I say because it is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. You asked: But they’re so dry...which brand? The Oracle replied: The one first in the alphabet. You asked: Ah, A? The Oracle replied: Let’s do something else. Are you dating someone? You asked: Can I date you? The Oracle replied: If you do, you will destroy a great empire You asked: What’s your breast size? The Oracle replied: Huge. You asked: Empire destroyed. The Oracle replied: *Smiles and nods* |
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