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Old 06-23-2014, 09:56 PM   #1 (permalink)
GuD
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Granted.

He's terrible at his job and makes fun of you in ways you don't realize.


I wish I could grow a better beard.
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Old 06-24-2014, 04:44 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Granted, but it grows so quickly when you wake up in the morning you have to untangle it from your pubes.

I wish Mr. Krabs would release the secret formula to the public.
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Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth.
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Old 06-24-2014, 04:55 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Frownland View Post
I wish Mr. Krabs would release the secret formula to the public.
Granted. It's semen. Animal semen.

I wish I could be a mod. (Not really, but for the purposes of this post let's just say I do.)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 06-24-2014, 06:23 PM   #4 (permalink)
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You've been modded but only because MB is under Federal investigation and they need a patsy.

I wish my favorite foods were calorie free.
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Old 06-24-2014, 06:56 PM   #5 (permalink)
Fck Ths Thngs
 
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Their taste comes from the calories.

I wish the grass was greener on the other side.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elphenor View Post
I'd vote for Trump
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Old 06-24-2014, 07:06 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Granted. You'll never be on the other side.

I wish I didn't terminally have the sex drive of a teenager. ****'s ****ing ridiculous at times, yo.
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I spit bullets in my feet
Every time I speak
So I write instead
And still people want me dead
~msc
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Old 06-24-2014, 07:08 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Granted, but now you have the sex drive of a toddler and can't fight the urge to bang your mom and kill your dad.

I wish Sun Ra would take me to Saturn.
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Old 06-24-2014, 07:24 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Frownland View Post
I wish Sun Ra would take me to Saturn.
Granted, but it's ****ing Saturn. What are you gonna do? Lay on the grass and stare up at the beautiful blue sky?

I wish smoking weed didn't make me paranoid and anti-social.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 06-24-2014, 07:39 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Granted, but you're still a dick.

I wish my car had a working set of speakers.
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I don't got a god complex, you got a simple god...

Quote:
Originally Posted by elphenor View Post
I'd vote for Trump
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Old 07-14-2014, 05:36 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Granted. They only work at maximum volume and you soon develop tinnitus.

I wish I didn't hate my job and compulsively assume the worst about every customer.
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I spit bullets in my feet
Every time I speak
So I write instead
And still people want me dead
~msc
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