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Old 06-24-2014, 07:06 PM   #221 (permalink)
GuD
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Granted. You'll never be on the other side.

I wish I didn't terminally have the sex drive of a teenager. ****'s ****ing ridiculous at times, yo.
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Old 06-24-2014, 07:08 PM   #222 (permalink)
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Granted, but now you have the sex drive of a toddler and can't fight the urge to bang your mom and kill your dad.

I wish Sun Ra would take me to Saturn.
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Old 06-24-2014, 07:24 PM   #223 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Frownland View Post
I wish Sun Ra would take me to Saturn.
Granted, but it's ****ing Saturn. What are you gonna do? Lay on the grass and stare up at the beautiful blue sky?

I wish smoking weed didn't make me paranoid and anti-social.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 06-24-2014, 07:39 PM   #224 (permalink)
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Granted, but you're still a dick.

I wish my car had a working set of speakers.
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Originally Posted by elphenor View Post
I'd vote for Trump
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Old 07-14-2014, 05:36 PM   #225 (permalink)
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Granted. They only work at maximum volume and you soon develop tinnitus.

I wish I didn't hate my job and compulsively assume the worst about every customer.
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Old 07-14-2014, 05:40 PM   #226 (permalink)
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Granted. You like your job and are now one of those people.

I wish the left bumper on my XBox controller would work.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 07-30-2014, 02:18 PM   #227 (permalink)
cooler commie than elph
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Batlord View Post
Granted. You like your job and are now one of those people.

I wish the left bumper on my XBox controller would work.
Granted. You replace it with the right bumper. Now the right bumper won't work.

I wish my family's record player wasn't sh*tty
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Old 07-30-2014, 10:22 PM   #228 (permalink)
Make it so
 
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Granted, but the only music that plays good quality is Justin Bieber's and Nickelback's discog.

I wish that I could instantly memorise my Java notes.
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Old 07-30-2014, 10:30 PM   #229 (permalink)
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Granted, but they are written in Swahili.

I wish that could go to Hell when I died so I could party with Satan and all the cool rock stars, and when Hitler walked by I'd give him a polite but tense head nod. Then we'd all try to go back to partying like nothing happened, but it'd still be all weird.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 07-30-2014, 11:22 PM   #230 (permalink)
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Granted, but the head nod denotes that he's free to fuck you in the ass whenever he wants.

I wish I had an unlimited supply of orange juice.
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