Anyone Feel Like Worshiping Thor?
 

So, after Xurtio brought up Chaos Magick, I got to looking at it and Discordianism -- and I'm an old hand at the Flying Spaghetti Monster and the Invisible Pink Unicorn -- and now I feel like being a dumbass and claiming to worship the Norse gods. Anyone want in?

All you have to do is drop things like, "By Odin's beard!" or "Praise Thor" or start calling trolls frost giants instead. We can trick n00bs into believing that we're legitimate Odinists, argue for Norse paganism when people are trying to have serious debates about religion (once any useful conversation has been exhausted of course; no need to ruin the forum), and claim to have pagan altars in our bathrooms and clandestine meetings between members. Maybe change our titles to something Viking specific or add something to our signatures or start a new forum group.

I'm just spitballing here. Assuming this takes off at all, I'm sure it will last only so long as we can keep it amusing, so coming up with new nonsense is a must. Pointless schisms and demands for excommunication are encouraged. We are also at war with Christianity since they stole our culture. Roxy is therefore to be shunned.

Oh, and since this is my idea, I declare myself the High Priest of the Music Banter Sect of Asatru. Briks will be my assistant and mead bearer.

All praise due to the All-Father.

You really do need some sort of gainful employment.

But yeah, hailz.

How dare you speak to a Viking thusly? But yeah I kinda do.

I'm guessing "Well paint me red and call me Shirley!" won't fly as an exclamation then.

How 'bout "By Odin's Raven!".

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view1/168...ns-raven-o.gif

By the Thor's goats, I think he's got it. I welcome our newest initiate. You must now make the traditional sacrifice of two apples, three twinkies, and a GI Joe, in the name of the All-Father.

Thor go with you.

I'd do a three way with him and Natalie. (I'd mostly watch unfortunately.... )

http://i.imgur.com/S4kFKWO.gif

Thor is within all of us. He surrounds us and penetrates us, and binds Midgard together.

Honestly, he's much prettier than her.

^^^

Odin is pleased. Little known fact: the All-Father invented the internet and Photoshop in order to make troll memes about then Pope John Paul II. He died a decade and a half later. Coincidence? I think not.


Also, anyone who wishes to take part must listen to and appreciate the genius of these Viking metal mother****ers -- and if you don't then you better pretend to.

Thor?

Jesus is love. Jesus is life. He will send you to Hell and kick your ass for your worship of a heathen god.

^I think this kid just picked a fight.

Don't the crazy christian peoples believe Jesus already took the blame for whatever shit they wanna do now anyways? Because if so, I guess someone's ass has already been beaten for heathen worship, and that ass belonged to Jesus and it was God doing the beating. What a nice God.

By the way.

http://poliziek.info/wp-content/uplo...cammer-419.jpg

And herre I thought this thread was dedicated to you^...

Pssh. Tolerance is for commies.

With my love of all things Norse mythology, **** yeah I'm in! Can I reserve my seat for Valhalla by killing many unbelievers? On XBox of course. Which I don't have.

God of thunder and rain, look down upon your poor people and bless us with good harvests, decent music and babes with massive jugs.
If it be thy will.

(Batty, can we assume you're some incarnation of Loki in disguise?)

I can only echo the words of Ragnar Lothbrok when he saw the crucifix as he and his men sacked an abbey: "Your god is dead. What use is he?"

Missed it by >h< (-e) that much.

Fun fact: "Herre" is the Norwegian equivalent of "Lord"

I shall pillage you with illage till your guts doth spillage.

You know, half the Vikings who die in battle go to Fólkvangr with Freyja, so I really can't make any promises. I guess you have a 50/50 shot at least.

If I were, could you really trust anything I said either way?

Freya's a babe, so I'm cool with that. Plus ... all those handmaidens! :D
Ah, but by the same token, could we trust you to tell us that we couldn't trust you?

my brother's sort of step-brother literally claims to be a religious adherent to ancient greco-roman mythology. he's a teenager and i think he's autistic or some**** like that where they have to send him to a special class. but he's not retarded... seems intelligent or at least on level with his peers.

anyway he's pretty serious about the whole greco-roman mythology thing. he kept bringing it up the one time i met him when we were at some chinese place eating. he kept complaining about how the christians came in and washed away his religion, destroying a lot of the artifacts etc. i told him that was probably payback for throwing them to the lions.

tbh if i was going to worship a god just out of choice it wouldn't be thor or any of those. maybe dionysus cause he knew how to party. but most likely i'd worship the rainbow serpent from aboriginal australian religion cause it's a giant ****ing snake.

Prexactly. Ragnaroked if you do, Ragnaroked if you don't.

Get the **** out of my thread.

**** your thread and your dead religion

A religion is only dead when all of its enemies have been slaughtered. Apparently there is at least one still at large.

im pretty sure the rainbow serpent could take thor

comic book ass diety

I got one of those Cthulhu fish-stickers on my car. That's the closest I've been to actual worship since childhood (and then it was mostly just a feeble attempt at prayer to make my C64 School Daze game load properly).

My impression as a norwegian is that the worship of the old gods here tend to be limited to groups of racist, nationalist turds like Vigrid .. or possibly black metal musicians, but I think that was more in the 90s. Still, the mythology itself is pretty awesome.

Nice, but your usage of "doth" is grammatically incorrect. You get a B-

i won't lie though i've tried praying many times

usually in split second moments of desperation

and usually not addressed to any one specific deity but rather any deity that might happen to be listening atm

beggars can't be choosers imo

Thor's role in the dreaded Ragnarok, the Twilight of the Gods which would signify their end, was as crucial as his role in life: the thunder god was to destroy the serpent Jormungand, but at the end fall dead from its poisonous breath.

So, he croaks but takes the ****ing WORLD serpent with him! Now THAT's how to go! Comic book my ass! Don't you read mythology??

You know, Yngwie was way ahead of all of us. Personally, I'm not sure how I feel about it.

Cheesy ass song. Yngwie should just stick to instrumental music.

Thor has a chariot that literally destroys rainbows. It's why Dio had to join Black Sabbath.

WTF, dude?

Yngwie should stick to flipping burgers, which is what I assume his day job is these days.

Those are hurtful words. You make Yngwie cry.

http://mywebpages.comcast.net/techie4/doughnut.jpg

^ Shut up and keep solo wanking, Mr. Malmsteen.

Tore is the modern form of a classic viking name, ya know. The most famous Tore was Tore Hund who was one of the chieftains opposing King Olaf II (who made it his mission to christen Norway) and who killed Olaf at the battle of Stiklestad.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...H._Egedius.jpg

After Olaf died, of course he was sainted and eventually the cathedral Nidarosdomen was built on his place of burial. Tore himself went into mythdom as a sort of anti-christian boogeyman. There's a story of him from somewhere where they wanted to build a church and this made Tore angry. He raised his bow and fired his arrow in the direction of the new church, but luckily there was a mountain in the way. His arrow blast a hole through the mountain side, but it was slowed down enough so that it just missed the church.

Pretty metal stuff. Me and Hund have a lot in common.

Fun fact: it's believed that Burzum was planning to blow up this church with the 100 kilos of explosives found in his home.

You're a cranky little fella.

Yeah, too bad you can't have a thread about vikings and norse God without someone bringing that guy up.

I think I've gotten more a bit more aggressive on here lately. :bringit: