So you wake up in a forest...

Ol’ Qwerty Bastard · 02-08-2018, 02:29 PM

also can we ask Frownlad to play us a tune?

Oriphiel · 02-24-2018, 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OccultHawk

Set some rabbit traps, build a fire, smoke ‘em if I got ‘em, and lay back and try to get some shut eye.

"I think I'll set some traps for yonder rabbits," you state, whilst stroking your chin thoughtfully.

"But how?" asks the Mind Worm telepathically. "All you have in your inventory is a whip."

"Shh," you reply, raising a hand. "Don't ruin this for me." Though the Mind Worm is correct, you remain set on trapping the furry beasts. Slowly approaching the rabbits, you remove your shirt and begin to flex your abs, knowing that no living thing can resist the allure of your bod.

The rabbits run away. And before they do, they give you as much of a disapproving glare as their expressionless faces allow.

"Here, let me handle this," sighs the Mind Worm, cracking his mental knuckles. Sending out a telepathic message to the rabbits, he convinces them that you and the monstourage are friendly, and mean them no harm. The beasts inch closer.

As soon as they are within range, Banshee Jo paralyzes them with her magical shriek.

Jimmy Four Claws gathers the helpless creatures and uses his namesake to strip and clean their meat. He also makes a neat headband for you out of their pelts.

Frownlad the Goblin rubs a few sticks together in a pile of dry leaves until a flame slowly builds. As the meat cooks over the comforting heat, he whips out his Goblin lute and plays some sweet Goblin tunes for everyone.

Before long, the meat has been both cooked and devoured.

After the meal, you take a nap, and wake up a few hours later with a refreshing orexis in all of your extremities. And I do mean all of them.

Your health and energy both go up by 5.

Your new headband sits proudly atop your brow. The evil legions of sweat now pose no threat to your delicate eyes.

What do you do now?

---
Proudly
---
Title: Rabid Devourer
Health: 15
Energy: 14
Inventory: Whip, Headband
Skills: Bull****, Monster Mash, Get In Here

---
Monstourage
---
Mind Worm (Healthy)
Frownlad the Goblin (Healthy)
Jimmy Four Claws (Healthy)
Banshee Jo (Healthy)

Ol’ Qwerty Bastard · 02-24-2018, 03:25 PM

continue towards the cave

OccultHawk · 02-24-2018, 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ol’ Qwerty Bastard

continue towards the cave

Yeah let’s get in that ****ing cave and kill some ****

OccultHawk · 02-24-2018, 03:30 PM

Btw

What’s my character’s name?

Ol’ Qwerty Bastard · 02-24-2018, 04:05 PM

ol' occult bastard imo

Oriphiel · 02-28-2018, 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OccultHawk

Btw

What’s my character’s name?

I gave you a chance to name them, and you blew it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oriphiel

The Mind Worm asks you for your name.

How do you reply?

Quote:

Originally Posted by OccultHawk

I take a skinny dip in the stream. Back stroke with a visible hard on.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oriphiel

The Mind Worm and the rest of your Monstourage eye you expectantly, waiting for your response.

Not saying a word, you rip off your clothes, proudly baring your erection to your followers. Without breaking eye contact, you back up into the stream and start to do a back stroke.

The Monstourage chatter amongst themselves, enquiring as to what the hell just happened. The Mind Worm mentally shushes them, for he understands. Though at first your actions seem lewd and nonsensical, there is a deeper meaning hidden within. The Mind Worm explains that you respect your followers so completely that you have cast away your birth name, and are allowing them to give you a new one in honor of this new stage of your life. Comissioning your followers thusly, you then showed them your naked body as a symbol of purity, to show that you have nothing to hide from them, your erection showing that you live with an unashamed love of all of existence. And your back stroke symbolizes that... I don't know, you're not afraid of swimming against the tide, or some shit like that.

The Monstourage is moved by your display. After discussing the matter for some time, they dub you "Proudly Naked and Ever Erect One", or just "Proudly" for short. You roll with it.

OccultHawk · 02-28-2018, 02:25 PM

Got it.

I’m Proudly.

Oriphiel · 03-16-2018, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ol’ Qwerty Bastard

continue towards the cave

You and your Monstourage head towards the mysterious cave. Before long, the mysterious mouth comes into view, with mysteriously shaped stalactites rising up mysteriously from the ground, made all the more mysterious by the fact that they're actually stalagmites. It's all very mysterious. And spooky.

You all take a moment to let the aesthetic sink in. A strange gurgling sound escapes from the stony lips of the cavern.

"You go first," says Frownlad, for while goblins are useful for avant garde lute solos, they are cowards at heart.

Banshee Jo appraises the cave thoughtfully, with a hand to her chin and everything. "Hmm," says she. "I bet if I let out a scream, it'd travel through the cave and kill everything inside of it. But the intermingling of the echoes across the countless nooks and crannies might combine to create a Scream Singularity, or Screamularity if you will. And that might break the universe. Or at least affect the nature of the surrounding area thus that it becomes a toxic hellhole."

"A Screamularity?" you ask. "How do you know? Has such a thing ever happened before?"

She nods. "Aye. Once, long ago, in the land of New Jersey. And look how it turned out for them."

You shudder.

Jimmy Four Claws anxiously sharpens his four claws. "Forget screaming. My claws can't sleep unless they're blanketed in blood. Let's just get in there and kick ass. I'll lead the way."

What do you do?

---
Proudly
---
Title: Cave Gazer
Health: 15
Energy: 14
Inventory: Whip, Headband
Skills: Bull****, Monster Mash, Get In Here

---
Monstourage
---
Mind Worm (Healthy)
Frownlad the Goblin (Healthy)
Jimmy Four Claws (Healthy)
Banshee Jo (Healthy)

~~MicShazam~~ · 03-16-2018, 02:05 PM

Not mysterious enough.

Anyway, I'd have Frownlad and company walk in a line, slowly, towards the cave. Since I don't think we have a sourche of light, I think we'll just let Frownlad trigger any eventual traps, leaving the rest of the team safe and sound. No one wants to hear more avant gare lute playing anyway.

Oh, and a note of extreme importance: NO ONE touches any of the stalactites-turned-stalagmites. Except frownlad, he can't resist licking the first one he walks by. Weakness of character.

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02-24-2018, 03:30 PM	#65 (permalink)
OccultHawk one-balled nipple jockey Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Dirty Souf Biatch Posts: 22,033	Btw What’s my character’s name? __________________ 2016 2017 2018 2019 2020 Member of the Year & Journal of the Year Champion Behold the Writing of THE LEGEND: https://www.musicbanter.com/members-...p-lighter.html

02-28-2018, 02:25 PM	#68 (permalink)
OccultHawk one-balled nipple jockey Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Dirty Souf Biatch Posts: 22,033	Got it. I’m Proudly. __________________ 2016 2017 2018 2019 2020 Member of the Year & Journal of the Year Champion Behold the Writing of THE LEGEND: https://www.musicbanter.com/members-...p-lighter.html

03-16-2018, 02:05 PM	#70 (permalink)
~~MicShazam~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Aug 2015 Location: Aalborg Posts: 7,636	Not mysterious enough. Anyway, I'd have Frownlad and company walk in a line, slowly, towards the cave. Since I don't think we have a sourche of light, I think we'll just let Frownlad trigger any eventual traps, leaving the rest of the team safe and sound. No one wants to hear more avant gare lute playing anyway. Oh, and a note of extreme importance: NO ONE touches any of the stalactites-turned-stalagmites. Except frownlad, he can't resist licking the first one he walks by. Weakness of character.