Let`s All Laugh At Urban
 

OK so while I was off work last week I took a trip to my parents shed & dug out all my old vinyl that was kept in there.
A lot of it i`d forgotten I had and a most of it was totally cringeworthy.
I also started off sorting out my CD collection and have dug out a load of horrors from that too.
So here is a list of the most embaressing albums in my collection so that you can all have a good laugh at me.I`ll also include a vote so you can vote for the most embaressing album out of the lot. Please take into account I was about 12 years old when I got some of this stuff. Shame I can`t use that as an excuse for all of them :(
Anyway . without further ado , the cornucopia of crap i`ve uncovered from the Urban vaults ......



Cacophony - Speed Metal Symphony
Wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank .


Craig Goldie - Hidden In Plain Sight
Now i`ve no idea why I would want a solo album from someone who was the guitarist in Dio for less than 5 minutes , but when I was in my early teens it seemed like the most obvious thing in the world to go out & get this power metal cheesefest.


Poison - Look What The Cat Dragged In
Lets be honest , nothing I say here is going to make any difference.This is undefendable.


Pretty Boy Floyd - Leather Boyz With Electric Toyz
Like Poison wasn`t bad enough.Maybe it was the steller artwork that wowed me into buying this....
http://www.rockdetector.com/assets/img/covers/25903.jpg
Maybe not then.


U2 - Achtung Baby
It was a gift , i`m convinced of it.


Robbie Williams - I`ve Been Expecting You
It was an ex girlfriends , i`m convinced of it.


Kid Rock - Devil Without A Cause
F*ck ! , I`ve got nobody to blame for this one other than myself,I`m pretty sure it`s unplayed coz I can`t remember a single song off it.


Green Day - Kerplunk
In my defence this was pre MTV (I mean the band wern`t on it yet , not MTV not existing) , it was also pre internet. Once every couple of months in the early 90s i`d treat myself to an album by mail order from a shop in London called Shades who specialised in imported American rock music. Sometimes I came across good stuff (Sonic Youth , Husker Du , The Nymphs) sometimes bad (Pretty Boy Floyd , and GREEN DAY).Based on a good reveiw I bought this ****, and actually liked it ....for about 2 months.


I Only Wrote This Song For You, A Tribute To Johnny Thunders
Featuring such well known artists as David Johannsen , Micheal Monroe from Hanoi Rocks and .....................umm
I`ve never heard of anyone else on it to be honest.


The Spaghetti Incident - Guns N Roses
Hear Axl Rose pissing his ego over some of your favourite songs and pay for the privilage.


Yngwie Malmsteen - Odyssey
Call me stupid , but for some reason the same teenage me who thought that a Craig Goldie solo album was worth buying also thought that Yngwie Malmsteen having ex Rainbow vocalist Joe Lynn Turner in his band might make him listenable......NAHHH.


Tigertailz - Young & Crazy
The British answer to Pretty Boy Floyd...... From Cardiff


Celtic Frost - Cold Lake
Ok you`ve released some of the most pinoeering music of the 80s , albums like To Mega Therion & Into The Pandemonium are basically a blueprint of what was to lay the foundations for black & death metal of the 90s.
So how do you follow up these early pioneering albums?
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You backcomb your hair & make a glam metal album ......oops
Celtic Frost never regained their credibility after this.


The Vines - Highly Evolved
Proof I still make mistakes even now. This was the last album EVER i`ve bought due to magazine/record company hype.
It ain`t ever happening again.

Hey now, Craig Nicholls has been compared to a cross between John Lennon and Johnny Rotten!



Hmmmm....

I`d happily liken him to John Lennon

6 feet under

Kid Rock is pretty shameful.
But then again, so is Poison.

Oh well, at least you didn't have a Motley Crue album, THAT would be embarrassing.

I have 6

:(

^ Attachment 1735 *stares at Urban In disbelief*

I know I know :(

I sincerely hope it's the reason she is now an ex-girlfriend. ;)

:rofl:
^That is me laughing at you.

Yeah just you wait till the emo backlash when all your favourite bands are the subject of ridicule :p:

It's a close one between Robbie Williams and Kid Rock. Kid Rock gets the edge cause he had a midget do his back-up vocals.

But...but.....I like so much more than screamo.
Whenever Immortal Tech is subject to ridicule, I'll look back and say:

"Urban was right"

The Vines are the worst band ever.

Black Sabbath were fronted by one

http://www.bighairmetal.com/Dio_singing.jpg

DIO!
What a loser

the only GD album ive owned, not too bad for its time i guess..back when lookout! was a legit label with good bands.

UGHHH Pretty Boy Floyd mofo.

Well . .
Robbie Williams is not that bad. I have one or two of his albums. He's amazing. if not a little grotesque and strangely perverse. . .

There's nothing wrong with Motley Crue either.

My vote goes to Pretty Boy Floyd.

None of this is really something to be embarassed about.
Trust me. I own a New Kids on the Block album, and . . . . a few years back . . . I burned my friend's copy of that Ricky Martin CD. . . .
Can't believe I just admitted that:usehead:

Uh . .
Peace

The main one I'd say would be Kid Rock, though Poison is pretty emberrasing, I even laughed at that album when it was originally out and I can see making up excuses for msot of the oterhs, adding atwist of my own toa ocuple of 'em..

Celtic Frost - Admittedly this was also beore downloading and easy access to hearing thigns before buying, so natrually excpecting great things from a legendary band, one buys it and then goes 'eewwwww' and tosses it into the nearest lake.


U2 - depsite what all the U2 haters say, and even more at that time, a still fairly coompetent band, if one really liekd their earlier efforts they could have been hoping 'maybe they'll get it back, or.. maybe not'

Tigertailz, - well you wre yong and crazy (probably) too at the time

And PS: Motley Crue -did- make two decent albums in Shout at the Devil and Too Fast for Love but slid quickly downhill after Theater of (what a) Pain

bravo for being bold enough and forthright enough to do something like this!
Respect you even more, now.

Kid Rock isn't that bad. Well, at least the Twisted Brown Trucker Band isn't.

apparently others agree with me, he had 3 votes before mine :)

Green Day bad? Pftt!


I voted for Kid Rock.

I think the only album up there which I honestly couldn't sit through would be the Cacophony album.

Greenday Ahhhhhh!

Malmsteen

I voted Malmsteen as well. I don't own anythng of his, but I stood ten feet away from him when he opened for Maiden in Philly, and I'm here to tell you, boys and girls, he's a fraud. All that lightning, speedy quick stuff? Done with pedals and effects. I'm serious, I saw it with my own two eyes. He sound like he's going crazy, and his fingers are barely moving.

it's all smoke and mirrors.

It's probably because his frets are scalloped.

Okay. Whatever that means. LOL.

I wondered that same thing. LOL.

I'm not afraid to show my musical ignorance. How else are you going to learn?

http://www.jcfonline.com/gallery/jac...J5211-pic2.jpg

When your guitar frets are scalloped, you barely have to push down on your strings to play unabridged notes. Yngwie's scalloped frets enable him to play significantly faster.

Chords don't sound too great on scalloped fretboards though, so it's kind of funny, on the G3 DVD, watching Yngwie sweep along with Joe and Steve's chords.

I don't know man, My guitar teacher has a scalloped guitar and he plays chords just fine.

You had a cacophony album Urban?

Shame on you. :nono:

It's a tie between Robbie Williams, U2 and Poison here.

I'm gonna avoid any U2 arguements here, or at least try.

Go on. You know you want to.;)

Robbie Williams for sure.

I have my parents collection though..........Jane Fonda Workout Album!

The most cringeworthy album I've bought is probably Shakin Stevens or Warrant.

Those are just enhancers, everyone from Hendrix to Page to Beck to Clapton has used pedals, distortion and phase effects to improve their sound, they are essentially used as part of the instrument to change tone and pitch, just like the bell and slide on a trumpet, no difference.... Any guitarist can tell you what Malmsteen is actually doing when he's playing... His frets are scalloped so that he can play faster but with more comfort, they allow you to play parts without pressing the frets very hard, it's a touch guitar method, similar to how the chapman stick works.

I know that. I'm not a complete idiot when it comes to music. I played in a few bands in my high school years, so I know all about fuzz pedals, wah wah boxes and the like.

What I'm saying is, I saw, with my own two eyes, the guy would play 3-4 notes, step on a few pedal, and it sounded like he was playing like greased lightning, when he was playing 3-4 notes, and letting the enhancement make it sound like he was doing way, way more. The 20,000 people at the Philadelphia Spectrum were going crazy, thnking this guy was the fastest guitarist on earth for the 45 minutes he was on stage. He did this with every single solo. He did very little actual guitar playing and let the electronics do all the work.

I know all guitartists use effects, but this guy's a fraud. You can explain it away any way you choose, but I know what I saw, live and in person.

Any on a funny note, those all 4 of those guitarists you mentioned? I don't care for any of them. LOLOLOLOL.

You're thinking of a delay unit, reverb effects ain't nothing new either, it goes way back to the days of Dick Dale... The delay unit repeats certain notes in a programmed pattern... However, delay is rarely done using a pedal, they are often produced through delay units plugged into an amp... The Edge for example produces his effects by plugging his guitar into an A/B box that splits into two large delay units plugged into two different sets of amps by using equipment that he designed himself, it creates his trademark "echo" sound where he can create lush, complex guitar harmonies (both on stage and in the studio) by only playing a few notes... David Gilmour has used a similar technique a couple of times, as well as a few others

But i think you are just jumping to conclusions, i'm very sure Yngwie dosen't use reverb or delay effects, at least not most of the time, how can you say you know for sure what kind of pedal it was and what it's actual purpose is, all by just looking at it?... Most types of pedals look pretty much the same, but they can have various purposes, Yngwie dosen't hide what kind of equipment he uses on stage... He uses DOD 250 and DOD YJM308 overdrive pedals excessively, thats nothing his fans don't know, and it's more than likely that was the kind of pedal you saw him use... And like i said that kind of effect you discribed is rarely done on pedals anyway (though mine has a built in delay effect), most professional guitarists use standard delay units instead, if Yngwie wanted delay, then he would most likely use a unit instead of a pedal, because it's much easier than using a pedal... He may appear like he isn't playing many notes, but thats mainly because of his scalloped frets, which make his strings more touch sensitive, like those on a chapman stick, if you ever watched Tony Levin or other chapman stick players live, they also seem to be playing less notes than what they are actually producing, Levin dosen't even use pedals or units... Scalloped frets give players the appearance of playing less notes than what their instrument actually produces, Yngwie also uses a special downstroke/upstroke picking technique with his fingers, which may contribute to the illusion as well.

Check this out!

^ Yngwies stash.