Worst music critics

Urban Hat€monger ? · 07-31-2009, 11:09 AM

I think it's unfair to lump them all together. In my experience there are 3 types of reviews.

1. Reviews that give you a general idea what to expect without being overly detailed.

2. Reviews written for fans of a band where comparisons are usually made to the artists back catalogue and are usually very thorough written by someone who's extremely knowledgeable.

3. Self publicising bullshit where the reviewer just wants to show off he went to university.

I don't mind people doing No 3. Just keep it on a fucking blog nobody wants to read & don't pretend it's objective journalism.

asshat · 07-31-2009, 11:44 AM

...back to metal machine music, did lester bangs mention that it was a lot of white noise and junk? If so he didn't pull the wool over anyones eyes.

If someone described coprophagia as the greatest thing in the world,people still know what eating **** entails...and if they take advice to eat it it's their own fault.There shouldn't have to be a "subjective opinion" disclaimer.

Terrible Lizard · 07-31-2009, 12:26 PM

I like Metal Machine Music, but greatest album ever? Nah, that would be "A Minute to Pray, a Second to Die."

JamboMikey · 07-31-2009, 02:45 PM

All of the reviewers from Pitchfork are total fannies.

asshat · 07-31-2009, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Terrible Lizard

I like Metal Machine Music, but greatest album ever? Nah, that would be "A Minute to Pray, a Second to Die."

I've being trying to find it pretty much everywhere but no luck yet.

boo boo · 07-31-2009, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by asshat

I've being trying to find it pretty much everywhere but no luck yet.

That's kinda like looking for someone to willingly stab you in the ear with a steel dildo.

asshat · 07-31-2009, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boo boo

That's kinda like looking for someone to willingly stab you in the ear with a steel dildo.

I like sick stuff...listening to it at least.

Terrible Lizard · 07-31-2009, 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by asshat

I like sick stuff...listening to it at least.

I'll send you a link.

Fruitonica · 07-31-2009, 09:08 PM

Quote:

No, I despise them because they have an undeserved sense of self worth, or else they wouldn't expect to get paid to be stupid, closed minded c*ntbags.

Actually, it does, most people who do it for free do it a hell of a lot better than people who don't. Mainly because the internet can actually offer you helpful reviews that come from the heart and aren't knee deep in snobbery and pretentiousness.

The problem is that you have this hostile and bitter attitude towards all music journalists, that is based off a few you seem to personally dislike. Which blinds you to anything they actually do well. You're painting them all as elitist ****heads, but I just don't see it.

Quote:

That's just plain stupid.

That's like saying Nickelback are better than other bands because they make more money.

Better than 90% of the bands formed by highschool kids that never make an album or play a gig perhaps, or the legions of cover bands and god awful pub rock that plague Australia. Anyway, I don't think jumping art mediums makes a decent comparison here.

Quote:

I don't think so, Rate Your Music and LastFm also has some very knowledgable peeps, even Amazon does from time to time despite a high concentration of idiots.

I find that the majority are just a description of the music and then saying how much they liked it, which is dull. But sure, I could try harder - there's plenty of good stuff out there.

asshat · 08-01-2009, 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Terrible Lizard

I'll send you a link.

...it's fascinating...it's not any worse than bagpipes, and I like bagpipes on occasion.I'm sure lester bangs was just amazed by how atrocious it sounded.
It takes genuine talent to make something that ugly. Do you listen to any whitehouse?

07-31-2009, 11:09 AM	#41 (permalink)
Urban Hat€monger ? The Sexual Intellectual Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Somewhere cooler than you Posts: 18,605	I think it's unfair to lump them all together. In my experience there are 3 types of reviews. 1. Reviews that give you a general idea what to expect without being overly detailed. 2. Reviews written for fans of a band where comparisons are usually made to the artists back catalogue and are usually very thorough written by someone who's extremely knowledgeable. 3. Self publicising bullshit where the reviewer just wants to show off he went to university. I don't mind people doing No 3. Just keep it on a fucking blog nobody wants to read & don't pretend it's objective journalism. __________________ Urb's RYM Stuff Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave.

07-31-2009, 11:44 AM	#42 (permalink)
asshat king of sex Join Date: May 2009 Location: canada Posts: 331	...back to metal machine music, did lester bangs mention that it was a lot of white noise and junk? If so he didn't pull the wool over anyones eyes. If someone described coprophagia as the greatest thing in the world,people still know what eating **** entails...and if they take advice to eat it it's their own fault.There shouldn't have to be a "subjective opinion" disclaimer. __________________ Rye Catcher II: Electric Boogaloo http://oldhickory666.blogspot.com/

07-31-2009, 12:26 PM	#43 (permalink)
Terrible Lizard **ER OF HOLES Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Butt**, Nebraska Posts: 1,211	I like Metal Machine Music, but greatest album ever? Nah, that would be "A Minute to Pray, a Second to Die." __________________ “YOU ARE SCUM SLUT.” -John Martyn

07-31-2009, 02:45 PM	#44 (permalink)
JamboMikey Groupie Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Edinburgh, Scotland Posts: 8	All of the reviewers from Pitchfork are total fannies.