Don't think other people like your music, they don't.
 

I was reading an Amazon review yesterday and the reviewer posted that they loved the recording so much that they were buying it as Christmas gifts for all their friends and family. Oh boy!

What a narcissitic person. When you buy gifts, if you're considerate and thoughtful, you buy them what they like, not what you like. Just because you love a recording doesn't mean your friends and family will. THat's almost never the case. Music taste is extremely personal. But people think if they are moved by a recording they just must share it with the world. The tragedy is that those CDs will never even be listened to once in most cases. Most people are not music fanatics and the ones that are all have wildly different taste.

Blast away...

I wish I was organized enough to do my Christmas shopping so early!

Think you're overreacting here.

It'd be narcissistic if this person said 'Wow, this is the best album ever. I need to buy it for everybody I know in order to educate them, because they are clearly my inferiors for having not heard this utter MASTERPIECE.'

Sounds like a guy just really loved something and wanted to try to spread his love of it to people that he cares about. Isn't that natural? When I hear a great song, I try to tell my friends about it. It's not self-absorbed. In fact, if anything, it's very interpersonal. It involves you trying to spread the love rather than hoard it all onto yourself like a narcissist would.

Besides, a good gift is also somewhat indicative of a person trying to put a little bit of themselves into it. I can't really think of a better way of transposing your own thoughts into a gift than giving somebody an album you really like (all within reason, of course - I'm not going to send a free jazz album to somebody who's barely into music at all, but I might make them a mixtape or something, because it comes from the heart, I put effort into it, and it says something about me for that person to care about). If a person gets a gift and isn't grateful that it's not a cell phone or a gadget, that's their loss. Frankly, I think sharing art you love with others that you care about is a great thing. Doing it as a gift just proves you obviously care a lot about it.

I agree with you that it would be horrible christmas gift but I wouldn't go so far as to call the person narcissistic

If it was the album THEY recorded, that would be narcissistic.

I do buy music I like for others now and then, but only when I know they will like it.
I bought both DeWolff's and Soundcarriers' latest album for my ex-girlfriend who's birthday is next friday. I know she will love it, altough she never heard either of them.

But I see what you mean. And no, people shouldn't force their taste upon others.

Someone bought me an Avenged Sevenfold album for Christmas once. :(

At least you got a beer mat and a frisbee then :)

I agree with clutnuckle, it's not narcissistic in the least. I always try to show music that I think my firends will like to them. If they don't, no big deal. But if they do they might love it, and helping someone find something they love(especially music) is an amazing feeling.

I would've loved that person too bad you didn't like it

I've shown music to my friends who just sit there looking blank. My friends only listen to what's on the radio so it's a dead loss most of the time. The closest I've got to 'alternative' is by introducing them to the Pretty Reckless. And even they get radio play I believe.

Although I would not be some venomous in my wording, I kinda have to agree with the OP.

Our music is usually our own for a reason. And that reason is very few other people will like it, as it is very hard to find someone else truly "into" music.

I really only have two friends who are really, really into music. And though we do have a few similar tastes, and we can agree to listen to certain things, in most cases they think that my music is incredibly bizarre, as they listen to completely different bands or genres. One of these friends is also my bandmate. This is not including my brother, who is also REALLY into music (mostly jazz), but has a very closed mind as to what is good, and I have a very hard time getting him to like anything new.

Heck, even my other bandmate likes primarily pop and country music with very few exceptions.

All I can say is unless you know exactly what someone likes when it comes to music, don't buy them a CD. Give them money, or a gift card. Or just let them borrow a CD. That way it costs no money, has no "nice" pretense around it, and if they don't like it they can tell you. If it is a Christmas present they wouldn't want to offend you by saying your music sucks. Hopefully.

And that my insane tired rambling on the subject!

If someone was going to spend their money buying me something, I would rather they did because they thought that I would really like it, not because they really do.

I know they say it's the thought that counts, but in this case the friend would be thinking of themselves....

i think none of my friends would like the entire spectrum of genres I listen to

so I can't really recommend Cannibal Ox to somebody who likes Porcupine Tree

neither can I recommend Terrorizer to a Pink Floyd fan

but there'ss always something in my collection for everybody

Well....as much as I am interested in hearing what music other people dig, I would prefer to get an itunes voucher for Christmas.

I can't be bothered that much with those who have closed minds, certainly as far as their judging genres they don't even want to know. 'Our' music for those who have open minds can actually be extremely wideranging and cross many different genres.

Not associating with someone just because they don't agree with you or are more closed minded than you is a bit petty, honestly. :/

Although I do wish they were less so. There's a whole world oh there that they can't see, because it's just too weird for them.

the clerk outside my room is very irritated by my music

And that's sick...

I have sort of the same going. Problem is around here, everybody listens to the radio so I can't show them Cann Ox or Porcupine Tree :D There are a few people scattered around... I've met a handful in my life so far... that have broad musical taste.

The OP is sort of right, sadly. He reminds me of the people around here...

If I find they're not interested in anything new musically, I just stop trying and leave em alone

But they might, particulary if they aren't narrow in their tastes. You can't really lump everyone together, some have very narrow tastes and others have heard a large amound of music of different types. The more music you hear the more good stuff you are likely to find.

most of my friends just aren't bothered and stay in their safety zone

I know a guy very much into Opeth, Mars Volta, Dream Theater, but was nearly dozing off when I extolled the virtues of Canterbury prog - but those were their influences, godamit!

Exactly. There is nothing wrong with pushing someone in a new direction. If they don't like it then fair enough but why dilute yourself into something that you are not?

If you think that something is worth listening to then why not share it? it may usually come up with negative responses but if if you believe in it then what is wrong with being true to yourself instead of offering up music that you don't like in order to be accepted or admired?

Yeh, I don't care that much if people don't like music I like. I'm perfectly confident liking what I like, if someone doesn't like it I won't get butthurt. I'll argue the case for what I like of course because I like discussion and I can back up my opinion. But nobody can please everyone, it's impossible, so there is no point trying to. Judge by what you hear and can understand in you own mind.

I don't think that's the point. You already know what your friend likes so give them suggestions in the genres that they like what's wrong with that? it's not about being accepted or admired it's knowing what your friends already like and dislike.

It's good to have your tastes stretched though, I think it is anyway, to increase your understanding of music.

I agree but we are talking about getting a gift for a friend. Wouldn't you rather give them something you KNOW they will like rather than something that you think they may like but you aren't sure?

Well yeh of course, this conversation has kind of drifted off the specifity of that. Even then there is no absolute guarrantee they would like it I suppose. And perhaps people should just be happy getting a gift anyway.

not when a Beatles fan is getting an Emperor album

If you think a person isn't ready to hear album x (ie. they've never listened to free improv. or drone or avant-prog or shoegaze and therefore wouldn't know how to handle it), then you need to know enough about music to find what I call "bridge albums". If you want somebody to like album x, find an album that bridges what they listen to now with what you want them to hear. One of the best bridge albums I've come across is If You're Feeling Sinister by Belle and Sebastian, with its poppy nature and somewhat angular compositions, the more all-inclusive instrumentation, and whatnot... You can easily bend the rules. It's really not as hard as everyone thinks to get somebody to at least appreciate an obscure underrated genre.

Your gift can have some consideration for the other person if you take that route, but I still don't think it has to. I just do that because I'd rather they do have the 100% success rate of walking away with something they'll like. Doesn't mean I do that all the time, though.

I'm pretty sure a majority of us at music banter know what "bridge albums" are you didn't really need to explain it but I agree with your last paragraph though about having 100% success rate vs. say like 75% or something along those lines.

Given the existence/longevity of threads with premises like "MY FRIENDS/FAMILY REACT TO MY TASTE HILARIOUSLY", I really wouldn't think that these supposed "bridge albums" are all that well-known, since people still have no idea what to show the people around them musically. Either that or people are purposely showing others things that they will hate so that they can post about it on the internet.

Do you notice the people that start threads like that? it's usually a new poster not someone that has been around Musicbanter for a lengthy period of time.

It doesn't matter who starts it, considering pretty much everybody (including those of high esteem here) posts in them about the intricacies of ConTRASTING opINioNs

actually it does matter who starts it because a regular from here pretty much knows about bridge albums that's why we have the send something another member wouldn't listen to thread. some of those albums sent to other members are bridge albums but other times they are just obscure out there albums to see if they would like it.

http://www.musicbanter.com/general-m...-music-14.html

http://www.musicbanter.com/general-m...nt-fathom.html

Started by a regular. Filled with regulars. Both threads pertain to this idea that "People on the outside don't understand the intricacies of REAL music." yet provide next to no insight for said person aside from perhaps an insult, which never ever comes close to helping.

If people at all understood the concept of what a bridge album was meant to do, they would not waste their time posting in threads like this. The one instance I can understand is if they're listening to something and somebody happens to hear it by accident. But even then, where's the thread-provoking sentiment in that?

Nobody starts out a pessimist. I think we've all tried to get somebody in our lives outside of the realm of our tastes into music. It's really crushing when you realize how that just doesn't work.

I can understand that, but those threads really don't seem to offer much of the catharsis the person in question would be looking for. I suppose if all you're looking for is for somebody to agree with you on the ludicrous statements that others make, then it works out.

Chillax, man.

Doing something like that isn't necessarily narcissistic, but selfish. Wanting a person to like a song is one thing if it's friend or close family, but when you force an album on a person it may just give the wrong impression.

Misery loves company so they just want to share their experiences and hope that they aren't the only ones going through the same issues. People tend to do that when socializing. Look for common ground in crappy situations no matter how ludicrous you feel the statements are.