there are so many idiotic, shitty, "followed an exact recipe for awfulness" pop songs that play on the overhead radio at work.

I don't know any names of songs. I don't know the artists. I don't care that much to know any of this useless information because my brain is already on the brink of turning to mush just hearing the shit when I'm working.

first and foremost I really hate Michael Buble. I have never looked for a picture of him but I assume he's very small and resembles some sort of gerbil, and if you put his irritating ass up next to Barry Manilow and Michael Bolton you probably wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the three.

awful song 1:

all the lyrics I've made out: "I believe that I can make you scream" followed by some kind of shrill, birdlike "hey guise I can make a noise with my voice!" ear-piercing howl. No, you little pop-puppet, you can't make me scream, but you might be able to convince me to stab my fucking eardrums if I have to hear your inane screeching ever again.

awful song 2:

pretty much literally the same song, except with a ton of layering and auto-tune and some irritating wretch singing about how "anything can happen" because if you have the capability of thinking beyond bullshit cliches, you won't make it in the "music" business. People who even use the phrase "anything can happen" and think that it has any weight or meaning at all should be removed from the human race because they'll only breed idiots.

awful song 3:

this next one reminds me of a psycho bitch I met at one of my old jobs. she was singing along to it and pretty much all the lyrics are "I just want to be ok". Well, that bitch was not ok. She was a fucking psycho. There's another line in this braindead song that really gets on my nerves: "I just want to feel the day". WHAT THE HELL. DOES THAT EVEN MEAN. YOU GODDAMN CHIMPANZEE. I COULD SHOVE AN ENTIRE GAME OF SCRABBLE UP MY ASS AND SHIT BETTER LYRICS THAN THAT.

awful song 4:

it's a country song, so it's already irritating enough with the singer's southern twAAAANg but once you realize she's rhyming "water" with "daughter" it's pretty damn obvious that there's nothing going on in her skull.

awful song 5:

all the lyrics I can make out before I try to tune it out and purge my brain from all the shit it just heard: "tonight, we are young". Ok, that's nice. "So we'll set the world on fire" ... um, ok. And of course there's some kind of "let's layer all these jocktards to sound like there's a crowd of them" sound. It's really quite miserable. Why not just set the "band" on fire? You can get a new one.


awful song 6:

The lead singer sounds like he's taking a shit in the dead of summer somewhere in Arizona and hasn't had a drink of water in days. He has no vocal range (presumably because he might also be eating a burrito) and the lyrics are practically incoherent apart from "there's nothing I can do, I only wanna be with you", you know, because I guess those are the only bullshit lyrics you can come up with when you're shitting out your spine.

awful song 7:

I assume these are just a bunch of studio "musicians" with some unskilled vocal stand-ins. There's a chick and (possibly) a bunch of dudes and the lyrics really don't make any sense at all. "1, 2, 3, 4 tell me that you love me more" ... wow, did you walk up to a 5 year old and ask them to rhyme something? They made a noble contribution because it was probably all their infantile brain could come up with, and then you were stupid enough to write an equally dumb song around it.

I'm sure there's more but those are the main offenders.

Ok. In spite of all those thing I said earlier, now I remember. I usually don't listen to radio but once when,I was with my friend he played me one song. He said it was great. But


IT IS THE ****ING MOST AWFUL SONG EVER.

Fun- We Are Young or something like that. The way he sings 'tonii-iiaa-iaaa-iaaaaa' nearly gave me a heart attack. I'm sorry if someone is a fan of theirs. I don't wanna be offensive or anything.

Oh my god, they're called "Fun"? Good lord, I knew there are more of a reason to hate them. They should have called themselves "Shit".

I forgot to rant about Katy Perry. I've been thinking of writing a parody to "Firework" (I only know the artist because of this idiot bitch I used to know that was possibly missing a full hemisphere of her brain) and calling it "Katy (You're a Fucking Jerk)" and it'd just be a song about how awful her music is.

I would tolerate a song that has no solid melody- if it had good lyrics
I would tolerate a song that has clichéd lyrics about love -if it had a good melody
I would tolerate with a slick sugary oversweet production if the song were otherwise good

But if you take all those and make a song it sounds awful. Some ballads are like that.

I know they are trying to be heartbreaking. I know they are sometimes filled with true emotion. They are usually sung with a shakey 'sincere' tone.

But. Everyone of us has emotions. If you are willing to release your emotions with a song, won't you please come up with a good melody or actually original words? And could you please leave those Hollywood strings out?

That reminds me, there's another one I really hate and all I can make out is "when the sky falls" and it just sounds like "when we blahblaahhh" and some overdramatic bullshit that really has no effect on its 12 year-old target audience. What the hell do they have to be so bummed about that they need some kind of empowerment ballad? Did they drop their Malibu Ken in the ocean and a large mammal ate it?

Are you maybe talking about the Adele song "Skyfall" from the movie Skyfall? I assume they deliberately made it dramatic and retro spy movie-esque because it's the theme song to a James Bond movie.

I don't know but it's completely awful. It's like they tried to replicate certain facets of the retro sound but made a goddamn mockery of it.

Two horrid cover songs

Can't stand Lil Wayne, Lil Jon, Soulja Boi or anyone else who makes that ****ty style of rap. I can tolerate that kind of music if it's forced upon my ears, like in a public setting or in someone else's car, but there's always some Pabst-drinking hipster douchebag who likes that kind of music "in an ironic way", as if it only makes them more alternative.



**** like this.