I don't remember ice cream trucks being this sexy

Moderator cut: image removed

This is the most pointless thread ever.

When I was twelve, I forced my friend to join me at the recycling depot against her will so we could make petty change from the collection of beer bottles my alcoholic aunt had left with us over the summer. I had carelessly been passing bottles to her as I sorted, begrudging the heat of the day and stickiness of the brew, and a bottle happened to slip my hand and explode on the tailgate of my mother's truck. A thick, brownish gray substance spattered across my friend's dismayed face, leaving a trail of fluid from her arm to her open mouth. Upon closer inspection, we discovered partially decomposed fur in the remainder of the bottle. A mouse had crawled inside it to die. We made eighty dollars that day.

I wish to be de-modded.

My city's so poor... we have the highest murder rate among cities of over 1 million in the United States?

It seems I may have offended you. I offended a gentleman the other day, who'd come into my place of work to make a simple purchase. I was feeling jocular in the morning hours, and he seemed ripe for a bit of friendly teasing. He requested two packs of cigarettes, and dropped a bag of sunflower seeds on the counter. "My addiction" he said with a foolish grin. I chuckled, and replied as I reached for his cigs "Right, that one's the problem". I noticed immediately his face turn to stone, and he busied himself texting. I sheepishly attempted to explain my comment, seeing that it had clearly not gone over well, but he left coldly. I noticed my manager in the corner doubled over with laughter, and when the door finally eased shut, she choked out "He's a meth addict".

Best story of 2011: Pedestrian

:laughing::laughing::laughing:

My city is so poor... if I didn't cut holes in my kids pockets at Christmas, they wouldn't have anything to play with. :D