Very scared of playing my own music...

Anonimous · 03-08-2014, 07:46 AM

I'm a classical pianist, but i've also started composing quite a while ago, and i mostly write pieces for the piano. The problem is, that i have some kind of a phobia. I'm extremely self-critical. At first, when inspiration hits, i really like it my music, and i'm very enthusiastic about getting the sheet music written. But as time goes on, i start thinking "damn, this sounds so repetive." ok, so i make the passage more interesting. then i see a couple of chords that remind me something from another piece, and i'm like "that measure sounds exactly like that part from the Grieg concerto cadenza or whatever, i must change it." then i tell myself that what i wrote is boring, stupid, corny and full of cliches. (although at first, i thought it was going to be an interesting piece.) People asking me to play a few of my pieces for them, for me, is about as equally socially stressful as stripping naked in front of a bunch of random people.

It's difficult. A part of me is saying "go ahead, show others your music, it's by far not as bad as you think it is." and the other part tells me "you're an idiot, take the sheet music and throw it in the oven, and never compose again." I'm a guy, so people don't understand why am i so shy about my music.

I need help on how to deal with this.

03-08-2014, 07:46 AM	#1 (permalink)
Anonimous Groupie Join Date: Feb 2014 Posts: 4	Very scared of playing my own music... I'm a classical pianist, but i've also started composing quite a while ago, and i mostly write pieces for the piano. The problem is, that i have some kind of a phobia. I'm extremely self-critical. At first, when inspiration hits, i really like it my music, and i'm very enthusiastic about getting the sheet music written. But as time goes on, i start thinking "damn, this sounds so repetive." ok, so i make the passage more interesting. then i see a couple of chords that remind me something from another piece, and i'm like "that measure sounds exactly like that part from the Grieg concerto cadenza or whatever, i must change it." then i tell myself that what i wrote is boring, stupid, corny and full of cliches. (although at first, i thought it was going to be an interesting piece.) People asking me to play a few of my pieces for them, for me, is about as equally socially stressful as stripping naked in front of a bunch of random people. It's difficult. A part of me is saying "go ahead, show others your music, it's by far not as bad as you think it is." and the other part tells me "you're an idiot, take the sheet music and throw it in the oven, and never compose again." I'm a guy, so people don't understand why am i so shy about my music. I need help on how to deal with this.