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Old 03-08-2014, 07:46 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Unhappy Very scared of playing my own music...

I'm a classical pianist, but i've also started composing quite a while ago, and i mostly write pieces for the piano. The problem is, that i have some kind of a phobia. I'm extremely self-critical. At first, when inspiration hits, i really like it my music, and i'm very enthusiastic about getting the sheet music written. But as time goes on, i start thinking "damn, this sounds so repetive." ok, so i make the passage more interesting. then i see a couple of chords that remind me something from another piece, and i'm like "that measure sounds exactly like that part from the Grieg concerto cadenza or whatever, i must change it." then i tell myself that what i wrote is boring, stupid, corny and full of cliches. (although at first, i thought it was going to be an interesting piece.) People asking me to play a few of my pieces for them, for me, is about as equally socially stressful as stripping naked in front of a bunch of random people.

It's difficult. A part of me is saying "go ahead, show others your music, it's by far not as bad as you think it is." and the other part tells me "you're an idiot, take the sheet music and throw it in the oven, and never compose again." I'm a guy, so people don't understand why am i so shy about my music.

I need help on how to deal with this.
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Old 03-08-2014, 07:51 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Say someone else wrote it
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Old 03-08-2014, 07:57 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rostasi View Post
Based on the two posts
that you've made here,
I'd suggest a therapist.

---
Now playing: Medium Medium – Hungry, So Angry
Based on the two replies
that this thread just recieved,
I am considering not visiting this forum again.
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Old 03-08-2014, 07:57 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Urban Hat€monger ? View Post
Say someone else wrote it
good idea. play a song, tell the people it's by someone else and if they say they like it very much you say: "BAM! I wrote it."
Don't be so self critical. Bad thoughts lead to even more bad thoughts, so you should just stop having them :P
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Old 03-08-2014, 08:00 AM   #5 (permalink)
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It's actually quite normal not being confident at first. But it does become easier after you put it out there and chances are people will clap whether it's good or horrible anyway. Just get the perfectionism out of the way, it's obviously not working for you, and it doesn't work well with music in general.
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Old 03-08-2014, 09:02 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Anonimous View Post
Based on the two replies
that this thread just recieved,
I am considering not visiting this forum again.
This is how i felt when i first came here, that ppl here like to pounce and misinterpret everything you say to make a joke out of you.

Regarding your OP
You seem to have very high standards for yourself which is not bad but i would suggests to you that instead of focusing on the technical aspect of your music focus on the feeling you want to convey in your songs that way you're attached to the piece even if it's not perfect.

I say this because you never stop learning from music, the more you learn, the more your sound evolves and turns into something different but if you don't put your heart in your songs and you just seek perfection you won't ever be proud of your work cause it will never be good enough.

That said, i don't play the piano, i play the guitar and sing so maybe the way we compose music is not the same.
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Last edited by Black Francis; 03-08-2014 at 09:33 AM.
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Old 03-08-2014, 09:18 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Black Francis View Post
This is how i felt when i first came here, that ppl here like to pounce and misinterpret everything you say to make a joke out of you.

Regarding your OP
You seem to have very high standards for yourself which is not bad but i would suggests to you that instead of focusing on the technical aspect of your music focus on the feeling you want to convey in your songs that way you're attached to the piece even if it's not perfect.

I say this because you never stop learning from music, the more you learn you learn, the more your sound evolves and turns into something different but if you don't put your heart in your songs and you just seek perfection you won't ever be proud of your work cause it will never be good enough.

That said, i don't play the piano, i play the guitar and sing so maybe the way we compose music is not the same.
thanks, you gave great advice.

Although i have never played the guitar, i too sing, and i could even say that i love singing as much as i love playing the piano, although i have had Much more experience with the piano. I have written a few songs, and sadly i feel the same way about them as my piano pieces. I agree, composition should be more about the meaning the piece has for me and the emotion i put into it, and that's the one thing that stays the same, no matter what instrument you are composing for. I'll focus more on that from now on
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Old 03-08-2014, 10:08 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Glad it helped a little. ^^

I had the same problem as you in the beginning, it took me like 3yrs after i started playing to finally make a simple song i was proud of.

ive been playing guitar and singing for like 14 yrs and still have difficulty finding my own voice without emulating some kind of music formula or some artist i admire.

idk about you, but in my head i can never be as good as the musicians i admire and i know to be good as them i need to find my own voice and learn how to express myself in my own way and to do this i need to put my heart into my songs and if they become hits i welcome that, and if they don't i can still be proud of them because at least the song will still have the genuine feeling i imprinted on it.

I think much of composing music or making art in general is a process of trial & error and whether what you create is successful or not at the core of what you created your heart has to be in it or else what's the point?
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Old 03-08-2014, 10:11 AM   #9 (permalink)
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i found a quote that kinda relates to what im saying:

"We can forgive a man for making a useful thing as long as he does not admire it.
The only excuse for making a useless thing is that one admires it intensely.

All art is quite useless." -Oscar Wilde

I wish you luck on your musician's journey Anonymous
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