I wish I didn't have this burning desire to do this. It's very intimidating coming from my humble, quiet, sheltered background into the world of real musicians, and things I've only seen/heard on TV/radio and actually having to go face to face with it. I feel so inferior and almost don't even want to call myself a "musician", because there is so much for me to learn that I don't even know if I have what it takes. And the fact that no one has believed in me enough to give me a chance almost confirms to me that I don't have what it takes.

You are always told as a kid to "follow your dreams, don't give up on your dreams." But I think that is some of (if not the) worst advice you can give someone. Not everything is achievable. I think that's just how it is. I think I will give up on it all, and go back to the boring, unfulfilling life I never wanted.

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?

Don't worry so much, if you truly want it you will be in a band eventually.
ofc there's no guarantee you'll make it big but you will have your shot at it.

I'm 23.... I keep hearing that. But every experience tells me it's never going to happen.

You need to be dedicated. Being a musician is a "don't quit your day job" kind of hobby, it's not very realistic to rely on making it big but that shouldn't keep you from trying.

Im not the most ideal guy to preach this to you but you really gotta dedicate yourself to it if you're choosing to be a musician.
You more than most given your circumstances.

And wether you make it big or not you can be a musician and either play solo or eventually with a band that much you can always do.

Having a defeated attitude before you even get started it's gonna do you no good.
you're still young, you still have plenty of time for forming a band.

Very true. I think it comes down to just not being good enough. There are so many artists out there who are galaxies above me talent-wise. I feel like a little tadpole.

Well there's always room to grow. Also, you can be very technically untalented and still write great songs. Pin down the talents that you do have and focus your music there while working on your weaknesses.

Just a kid with a recorder.

I'm trying to take guitar lessons but it all just seems too hard. The guy was right about having a defeated mindset. I'm very quick to feel intimidated and discouraged, I just default to the position that I'm just not good enough. It's very weird to be me! lol

Well, why not try showcasing what talent you have via YouTube and say in the video that you're looking for people to play music with? Even if they're not local you can collaborate easily these days across yon net. Might be worth a go.