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Old 06-19-2017, 07:35 PM   #771 (permalink)
Prepare 4 the Fight Scene
 
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nah actually do this one https://troublesalad.bandcamp.com/album/clear-society
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Hmm, what's this in my pocket?

*epic guitar solo blasts into my face*

DAMN IT MONDO
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Old 06-19-2017, 08:35 PM   #772 (permalink)
Prepare 4 the Fight Scene
 
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Scratch that again, I'ma release a cooler and way more dynamic album pretty soon
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Hmm, what's this in my pocket?

*epic guitar solo blasts into my face*

DAMN IT MONDO
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Old 06-19-2017, 11:12 PM   #773 (permalink)
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what if it's in fact so immensely and meticulously structured that it transcends all notions of what structure even is

do you like metal
Yeah I like metal, although I'm easily bored by the more extreme stuff these days. I do listen to the occasional melo-death album or some Nile now and again, so it's not like I dropped extreme metal completely.

If there's some actual recognizable song writing/theme/structure to it, I'm up for anything you've got. It's just that I'm not good at saying anything about blobs of formless sound. So if "dissonant soundscapes of distortion" describes it well, it will probably be a criminally short review.

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Scratch that again, I'ma release a cooler and way more dynamic album pretty soon
I'll gladly listen to it when you're done.
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Old 06-19-2017, 11:21 PM   #774 (permalink)
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Review my electronica album

Jesus the Carpenter - Jesus Isn't So Sure About You Guys Anymore
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Old 06-20-2017, 12:21 AM   #775 (permalink)
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Allright, will do.
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Old 06-20-2017, 07:17 AM   #776 (permalink)
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Default Review: Jesus the Carpenter - Jesus isn't so sure about you guys anymore

Like I warned, I'm not really the right person to comment on
weird noise experiments. The review (if we can call it that) is
as one would expect based on that.

Please don't hate me.

(1) Yuck! A bunch of disgusting noises cut up to sound... more
interesting? I guess that's the idea. Maybe it is of incredible
thematic relevance that this piece introduces the album, but
then why is the second track (2) also just a short soundbit?

(3) A mechanical horse stampede with puny gun noises. I think.

(4) Those faucets need some oil and that guy needs an asthma
inhalator.

(5) Rambling cartoon character stuck in a loop. Or in a centrifuge
full of bees.

(6) That almost feels like a melody. Erh... sort of. Too long goes by without much change in dynamics.

(7) Unsettling? Perhaps, but at least it isn't as frantic as
the other tracks. But 2:22 tho? Get on with it!

(8) A ringing noise, electric buzzing, crunching noises. I don't know how to review stuff like this. I'm decribing what I hear.

(9) Frankly? Just start the album here. This one is actually sort of interesting. Some low key guitar plucking fed through
a lot of filters or ... whatever it is. The point is that it resembles actual music to my ears. Very random, but I can dig it.
There's even a nice little change after the 2:03 mark.

(10) Sounds like Justin Bieber?? Oh wait, it's a Spotify commercial.

(10 (for real)) "Tube Sealant and Duct Tape All Over the Chair. Explain Yourself".
I'll have 50 minutes of this for my next sci-fi horror game, please.

(11) Actual music! What I'm picturing is two Lebanese men playing guitar. One is jamming it out, free jazz style, but
with a very ethnic melodic feel to it. The other guitarist is just tripping balls, hammering his fist against the guitar
repeatedly. Pretty good.

(12) Sounds like the next part of the album is under construction.

(13) Rawwwwrrrr! Rawk guitar! This is gonna be some epic doom metal! Not really though. The band never showed up.

(14) Acoustic guitar. Yet again, pretty improvised, but nice vibe all the same. Some moments suffer a bit from not being
properly composed, other moments hit something special. I guess that's the nature of improvisation.

(15) The C64 apocalypse is upon us. I'll file this under "endurance test". Later in the track, a freight train zooms by
the recording equipment at about 2 cm distance. My ears really appreciated that.

(16) What a cock tease! For a moment, I thought we were getting a weird acid-country song. Some interesting noises result
from some distorted noodling and pitch bending on an electric guitar, but 9:45???

I'm done.

------

Final rating:
/ 10
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Old 06-20-2017, 08:00 AM   #777 (permalink)
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Do you even vaporwave bro? About what I expected though, thanks for listening. Oh, and if you were wondering.

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Originally Posted by MicShazam View Post
(1) Yuck! A bunch of disgusting noises cut up to sound... more
interesting? I guess that's the idea. Maybe it is of incredible
thematic relevance that this piece introduces the album, but
then why is the second track (2) also just a short soundbit?
The tracks are in order from shortest to longest, and all of them except for the closer (which was a bandcamp bonus track) were done on the Keezy drumpad app, hence the repetitiveness/loop element. Source for 1 is my own mouth and source for 2 is my friend's wife stumbling while playing guitar.

Quote:
(3) A mechanical horse stampede with puny gun noises. I think.
That's my dog running around on a hardwood floor with the TV on in the background.

Quote:
(4) Those faucets need some oil and that guy needs an asthma
inhalator.
All clarinet.

Quote:
(5) Rambling cartoon character stuck in a loop. Or in a centrifuge
full of bees.
Simpsons commercial (I'm surprised this didn't keep it from being distributed on Spotify tbh).

Quote:
(6) That almost feels like a melody. Erh... sort of. Too long goes by without much change in dynamics.
Adult swim commercial.

Quote:
(7) Unsettling? Perhaps, but at least it isn't as frantic as
the other tracks. But 2:22 tho? Get on with it!
Alvin Lucier's I Am Sitting in a Room

Quote:
(8) A ringing noise, electric buzzing, crunching noises. I don't know how to review stuff like this. I'm decribing what I hear.
Washing machine, mouth noises, and a chair being dragged.

Quote:
(9) Frankly? Just start the album here. This one is actually sort of interesting. Some low key guitar plucking fed through
a lot of filters or ... whatever it is. The point is that it resembles actual music to my ears. Very random, but I can dig it.
There's even a nice little change after the 2:03 mark.
Why thank you. That's myself on guitar, with each sample recorded right after the pluck, which gives that odd humming element.

Quote:
(10) Sounds like Justin Bieber?? Oh wait, it's a Spotify commercial.
Their targeting sucks.

Quote:
(10 (for real)) "Tube Sealant and Duct Tape All Over the Chair. Explain Yourself".
I'll have 50 minutes of this for my next sci-fi horror game, please.
Again, myself on guitar being sampled.

Quote:
(11) Actual music! What I'm picturing is two Lebanese men playing guitar. One is jamming it out, free jazz style, but
with a very ethnic melodic feel to it. The other guitarist is just tripping balls, hammering his fist against the guitar
repeatedly. Pretty good.
Still using the sample pad here with myself on guitar. These ones are longer than usual. If you like that style you might actually enjoy the other two albums in the Jesus Tells Everyone How He Feels About Them Series, Jesus Loves You and Jesus Loves You Again.

Quote:
(12) Sounds like the next part of the album is under construction.
The sound of crutches being stroked.

Quote:
(13) Rawwwwrrrr! Rawk guitar! This is gonna be some epic doom metal! Not really though. The band never showed up.
Made with the intention of being a Noosefiller track, but I decided to keep it because of the Keezy element.

Quote:
(14) Acoustic guitar. Yet again, pretty improvised, but nice vibe all the same. Some moments suffer a bit from not being
properly composed, other moments hit something special. I guess that's the nature of improvisation.
I forget how I did this one, I could have made this in the studio or with the app...

Quote:
(15) The C64 apocalypse is upon us. I'll file this under "endurance test". Later in the track, a freight train zooms by
the recording equipment at about 2 cm distance. My ears really appreciated that.
Heavily inspired by Metal Machine Music.

Quote:
(16) What a cock tease! For a moment, I thought we were getting a weird acid-country song. Some interesting noises result
from some distorted noodling and pitch bending on an electric guitar, but 9:45???
A bit of a return to form for me, saying that maybe Jesus is sure about you guys again. Meant as a gift for those who downloaded the album.

Quote:
/ 10
=3/10?
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Old 06-20-2017, 01:17 PM   #778 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Frownland View Post
Do you even vaporwave bro?
Evidently not!

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Originally Posted by Frownland View Post
and source for 2 is my friend's wife stumbling while playing guitar.
lol

Quote:
Originally Posted by Frownland View Post
Their targeting sucks.
I get a lot of ****ty radio commercials, which this was as well.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Frownland View Post
If you like that style you might actually enjoy the other two albums in the Jesus Tells Everyone How He Feels About Them Series, Jesus Loves You and Jesus Loves You Again.
I guess it's kind of obvious that I mostly connected with any appearance of guitar noodling on this project.

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Heavily inspired by Metal Machine Music.
Which I have never listened to, and after Lulu, I'm not sure I want to.

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Originally Posted by Frownland View Post
=3/10?
More like = undecided, because I clearly have no clue what I'm talking about. I will say this much: The variety of sounds is great and there's a good deal of inventiveness here.
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Old 06-20-2017, 01:23 PM   #779 (permalink)
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Which I have never listened to, and after Lulu, I'm not sure I want to.
They're really only the same in that people give them an unjust amount of hate. Other than that they're two 100% different records.

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More like = undecided, because I clearly have no clue what I'm talking about. I will say this much: The variety of sounds is great and there's a good deal of inventiveness here.
I actually consider the bolded a compliment as well.
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Old 06-20-2017, 01:58 PM   #780 (permalink)
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They're really only the same in that people give them an unjust amount of hate. Other than that they're two 100% different records.
I can believe that, but I did not get along with Lulu, so I wasn't eager to hear yet another Lou Reed project that everyone was mocking.
Lulu was never as supremely awful as it was made out to be, though. It was more the sheer bloatedness of the thing and how I thought Metallica fit with Lou like peanutbutter and mayonaise.


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I actually consider the bolded a compliment as well.
Works for me! If I thought it was a pathetic load of turgid crap, I would have said so.
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