The Torture Chamber
 

http://cliparts.co/cliparts/kTK/nbo/kTKnboxMc.jpg
Based on, obviously for those of you who have been following Metal Month since last year, "The Batlord's Torture Chamber", and in some ways also borrowing from his idea of that thread in which he requested avant-garde **** he would hate, this is expanding the idea a little further.

I must give Batty due credit for his idea to take this out of Metal Month and to the masses, though he did originally say I should keep it in my journal. I think this way is better, and will reach more people. Maybe.

Anyway, the idea is, albums are suggested that you know or hope the person they're suggested to will hate. That will probably be me most of the time, but anyone is welcome to sign up. The further I (let's just use me as the subject for now, but this would of course apply to anyone who signed up) get through an album the lower score you get. So if for instance I can't get past the first track you might get 90%, whereas if I get halfway through you get 50%, or whatever. I haven't quite worked out the details but you get the idea.

One album per member and I'm going to take TLP's rule onboard here, which is nobody can rec a second album to the same member until their first one has been dealt with. This should stop the kind of large backlogs I tend to get with "Love or Hate?"

Nobody needs to review** any albums. You can if you want to but it is absolutely not a requirement. However, if you take one on and make it past the first few tracks then you do need to prove that, by referring to those tracks in a way that proves you're not just saying you made it when in fact you chickened out after the first one.

Also, if you happen to rec your favourite album to someone who you expect to hate it, and they do, then don't get snippy if they crap all over it. You're taking the chance so accept the consequences. And of course, keep your sense of humour, as you'll need it.

I'l probably end up being the only one who volunteers, but if you want to sign up the sheet is below. Albums will be received on the usual FCFS basis, and only albums please --- no collections, discographies, or the like. Live albums are ok in this context. Preferably too, ensure it's one I haven't heard as otherwise it's a little pointless.

Albums, once submitted and accepted, need to be reviewed within seven days, otherwise two days after the deadline you lose and your score is 100%. The Torture Level will also be set at 100% for anyone who fails to review within this time. Torture Level is the indicator of how terrible you thought the album was, and is expressed in a percentage, from 10% for didn't bother me at all to 100% for please turn it off! Overdue albums will now be marked in dark red, as will the name of the member on the signup sheet.

In future, anyone who is recced an album here will get a short PM from me advising the details. If you wish NOT to accept it please PM back or post in the thread. If PMing, please contact me and not the person who recced it, as I need to keep a proper record. If no reply is received within three days, silence will be taken as assent and the album will be assigned to you.

Those who succeed in racking up the highest torture score will be immortalised on a league table later on.

I think that's it. All I can think of anyway. All genres/years accepted, and if you're signing up you might want to advise others what genres you dislike, though that's up to you. Acceptance of albums is at the sole discretion of the "victim".

SIGNUP SHEET
(This no longer indicates turns, merely who's agreed to be Tortured and who you can therefore target)
Trollheart
Frownland
Deadchannel
Grindy
The Batlord
Oriphiel
Ninetales
Travelling Alone
Violet
Goofle
Tristan Geoff
ContrivedNihilism
Plainview
Mondo Bungle
Terrapin Station

Current battles

Green for Win, Red for Lose. You as the Challenged lose unless you get right to the end of the album, however the extent of your loss or win is reflected in the score for the battle. As below. A Torture Level is also ascribed to each album, by the listener, and displayed beside the result of the battle.

Note: If you don't prove you've made it through the album you will be marked as Losing and your score will be shown as "Invalid". Anyone can say they listened to it, but we need evidence of your ordeal.

UPDATE: All battles not yet completed now show the date they were recced, the date they must be reviewed by at the latest, and will be colour-coded in DarkRed to show they are overdue. At this point, PMs will be sent to those responsible, advising them they have two days to post. If they do not, no further warning will be issued and their albums will be marked as Fails.

Trollheart vs Exo: No Pads, No Helmets ... Just Balls (A Simple Plan) Score: 0 TL 10%
Trollheart vs Grindy: Five Men Singing (Jaap Blonk & Koichi Makigami & Paul Dutton & Phil Minton & David Moss) Score: 0 TL 90%
Trollheart vs Oriphiel: Pebbles Vol 3 (Various) Score: 0 TL 40%
Trollheart vs Frownland: The Topography of the Lungs (Evan Parker) Score: 0 TL 95%
Trollheart vs The Batlord: Plague Mass (Diamanda Galas) TL 60%
Trollheart vs Grindy: Yuxo (Hans Reichel) Score: 0 TL 0%
Trollheart vs Frownland: Metal Machine Music (Lou Reed) Score: 0 TL 0%
Trollheart vs Violet: We Stitch These Wounds (Black Veil Brides) Score: 0 TL 0%
Trollheart vs The Batlord (Round 2): Warrior (Ke$ha) Score: 0 TL 10%
Trollheart vs Isbjorn: Pervertor (Lord Mantis): Score: 0 TL 0%
Trollheart vs The Batlord (Round 3): Tanz, Grosny, Tanz (Yacopsae) Rec date: Nov 12. Due date: Nov 28
Trollheart vs Mondo Bungle: 4 - AIDS-a-delic (Hanatrash) Rec Date: Nov 13. Due Date: Dec 5

Frownland vs The Batlord: The Great Milenko (Insane Clown Posse) Score: 0 TL 25%
Frownland vs Trollheart: New Jersey (Bon Jovi) Score: 0 TL 15%

Deadchannel vs The Batlord: Baby One More Time (Britney Spears) [B] Score: 0 TL 50%
Deadchannel vs Trollheart: Rockin' with the Rhythm (The Judds) Score: 0 TL 70%

Grindy vs Trollheart: Nether Lands (Dan Fogelberg) Score: 0 TL 55%
Grindy vs The Batlord: Gods of War (Manowar) Score: 0 TL 23%


The Batlord vs Trollheart: Caress of Steel (Rush) Score: 0
The Batlord vs Frownland: Lost Shadows: In Defence of the Soul (David Toop) Score: 100 TL 100%
The Batlordvs Grindy: Viva Koenji! (Koenjihyakkei) Score: 0 TL 100%
The Batlord vs Trollheart: Misplaced Childhood (Marillion) Score: 100 TL 100%
The Batlord vs Oriphiel: In a Metal Mood: No More Mister Nice Guy (Pat Boone) Rec date: Oct 16, Due date: Nov 28.
The Batlord vs Deadchannel: Trilogie de La Mort (Elaine Raidgue) Rec date: Oct 13 but I only realised now I'd completely missed it, so counting it as recced today. Due date: Dec 5
The Batlord vs Tristan Geoff: OFR (Nitro): Recced Nov 3. Due date: Dec 12

Oriphiel vs The Batlord: Miracles: The Christmas Album (Kenny G) Score: 0
Oriphiel vs Trollheart: The Wild, the Innocent and the E Street Shuffle (Bruce Springsteen) Score: 0
Oriphiel vs Trollheart: The Road to Hell, Part 2 (Chris Rea) Score: 100 TL 100%

Ninetales vs Orpihiel: All Black and Hairy (The Gravedigger V) Score: 100 TL 100%
Ninetales vs The Batlord: Glory Unending (Final War) Score: 0 TL 100%
Ninetales vs Trollheart: Xanadu (ELO/Olivia Newton-John) Score: 100 TL 100%

Traveling Alone vs Oriphiel Here are (The Chesterfield Kings) Score: 0
Traveling Alone vs Trollheart: Heart in Motion (Amy Grant) Score: 0 TL 50%

Violet vs Trollheart: Hillbilly Deluxe (Dwight Yoakam) Score: 0 TL: 20%
Violet vs Grindy: Ejaculation Generater (Masonna) Score: 100 TL 100%

Goofle vs Trollheart: Dominion (Kamelot) Score: 0 TL 10%
Goofle vs Grindy: Beatle Barkers (The Woofers and Tweeters Ensemble) Score: 25 TL 15%
Goofle vs Trollheart (Round 2): Sailing to Philadelphia (Mark Knopfler) Rec Date: Nov 13. Due Date: Nov 20
Goofle vs Tristan Geoff: Fashionably Late (Falling in Reverse) Score: 0 TL 5%
Goofle vs The Batlord: Sadness Will Prevail (Today is the Day) Score: 0 TL 15%

Tristan Geoff vs The Batlord: Like a Virgin (Madonna) Score: 0 TL 10%
Tristan Geoff vs Grindy: Kuchinoha (Koichi Makigami) Score: 0 TL 0%
Tristan Geoff vs Trollheart: Coast to Coast (Westlife) Score: 0 TL 80%
Tristan Geoff vs The Batlord (Round 2): Unleashed (Toby Keith) Rec Date: Nov 23. Due Date: Nov 30

ContrivedNihilism vs Trollheart: Martika (Martika) Rec date: Nov 7, Due date: Nov 14.
ContrivedNihilism vs Goofle: Rain in England (Lil B) Rec Date: Nov 9, Due Date: Nov 21 (On hold as per request)

Plainview vs Trollheart: Time (Rod Stewart) Rec Date: Nov 9, Due Date: Nov 16

Terrapin Station vs Frownland: Mass Projection (Masayuki Takayanagi and Kaoru Abe) Score: 0 TL 100%

** Note: I'm using the word "review" to refer to any notes written about your album, your proof that you listened to it. I said reviews are not necessary, but many people are reviewing, and that's fine, but you don't have to. Anytime I used the word here though this is all it refers to.

Here's a recommendation. Good luck.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped.../b7/Nopads.jpg

Simple Plan - No Pads, No Helmets...Just Balls

I'm in.
There's a bunch of noisy and/or otherwise ****ed up stuff I'd love to torture people with.

As for me, the genres I hate most are alternative/indie rock, heavy/power metal and a lot of singer-songwriter stuff.

My first rec, already tried on and hilariously reviewed by Batlord, is Jaap Blonk & Koichi Makigami & Paul Dutton & Phil Minton & David Moss ‎– Five Men Singing.
Who here hates weird vocals?

Hey Trollheart, this one is for you... Edit: Ah, someone else beat me to it. If anyone else wants to try to survive through this album, go for it.

http://eil.com/images/main/Various-P...e-3-371262.jpg

http://www.discogs.com/Various-Pebbl.../master/185008

Alright send me something I can scoff at.

TH:

Someone torture me.

Boom.


ICP - The Great Milenko

http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NTAwWDUwMA...lV71Lk/$_1.JPG

Okay, let's just calm this down a moment.
The signup sheet is there for a reason. I go first and then whoever's next. Frown you can file that away till it's your turn, but nobody should start rating albums yet. Not that anyone will listen to me of course.

In case you all start just firing off in all directions at once, (not that that would ever happen!) here are the basics:

If you get through track one only (all the way) then your "tormentor" gets a score of 100 percent.

Making it to track two gets them 80 percent.

Halfway through and they only get 50 percent.

More than halfway up to two-thirds of the way they score 20 percent

And if you make it all the way through to the end they get zero.

An album, once attempted, cannot be tried again by the same person. You get one shot, though someone else may want to try it themselves, which is ok.

Make sure you give some idea of the album so we know you're actually listening to it. No eating the person in front of you, and please remove all sharp objects from your pockets before boarding the train.

Oh, and it is imperative that you have all relative and necessary inoculations before embarking, as the management will not be held responsible for any diseases, viruses or other nasties picked up on the way.

Have fun!

Oh good. Rules.

When you get older, young 'un, you'll realise you need 'em. Anyway, **** off. There aren't many and they're pretty self-explanatory.

Dude, I just wanna make Frownland listen to the Insane Clown Posse. Don't get in my way.

Can I assume any recs here not directed are at me? I know ICP is at Frown, are the rest to be mine?

When you say you're in, are you signing up?
No, you're okay. You can rec for me, just not another until this is done.
So that one's for me, yeah?
You know, of course, that someone is going to sig that?
Thank Christ I avoided that. Er, I mean...

I'm not. Remember, I said it was likely you would all just do what you wanted, so....
http://econintersect.com/wordpress/w...4/stampede.jpg

There are more than enough ICP albums to go around.

I can pussy out though...

All right, let me just get comfy in my favourite chair and we'll get this under way.
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped.../b7/Nopads.jpg
Title: No Pads, No Helmets ... Just Balls
Artiste: A Simple Plan
Genre: Pop Punk
Evil Bastard: Exo

Okay, good one. Though pop punk? We all know I hate punk, but will this not be a bit light for old Trollheart? Let's see. I actually for some reason thought the opener would be a cover of the old hit from the musical of Oliver! It isn't. Kind of poppy boyband-ish, but Exo, if you thought this was going to bother me, you surely forget I spent a long time in Boybandland for my journal. Or maybe you didn't read that. Probably not. Anyway, I've withstood the assault of such groups as New Edition, NKOTB, Westlife and Nsync, so this is nothing to me. Nothing, do you hear me? AH-HAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!!!

(It's actually quite a catchy opener. Unless this gets much MUCH worse, Exo you're going home with nothing my friend.) There's not even autotune on this. I could stand this for hours. I wouldn't want to, but I could. Like I say, it's fairly catchy. Ah, the lyrics are pretty crap: “Yesterday was the worst day ever/ And tomorrow won't be any better.” Hmm. Guitars are pretty good. Hard to prove I'm listening though, as so far the three tracks I've heard are pretty interchangeable. Teenage angst huh? Oh this one is slower, maybe it's a ballad? Jangly guitar. Nah, it kicked up into a copy of the last three. “I'm just a kid”? Indeed. It's actually quite funny how that “emotional” guitar keeps coming in, then they just kick it out of the way with the chorus.

Ah, **** it, I don't care: “Meet you there” is really catchy and I like it. Six tracks in folks! I love hoe in “Addicted” he sings “I'm a dick --- I'm addicted to you!” :laughing: Kind of like this too. It's fun. Reminds me of The Proclaimers. Without the thick Scottish accent of course. “When ye goahhhhh weel ye sen' back, a let-tur from Amery-ca!” :band: Mind ya, considering the amount of times they sing it, they should maybe have titled the song “Heartbreaker”. Thought I was listening to ABBA for a moment there as “My alien” began. Oh, the comments on YouTube (the only place I could find this) are hilarious! “I remember my lil sister bying* this album for me when I turned 13... Damn that was days ago. I'm 25 now with my first kid”. Oh god help me! Days ago?? This song is ****ing hilarious! “She's not your typical girlfriend, she's my alien!”
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped...4)_-_Alien.jpg
Wouldn't be a good idea to piss her off, would it? “God must hate me” is a song you can't hate. So God made you crash your dad's car, did He? ****ing kids! :rolleyes: That's almost the guitar solo from “Sweet child o' mine” opening “I won't be there” --- well, not really but it's close. Sort of. “One day” sees them trying a sort of blues/reggae hybrid, though again not really. I have to say I'm quite enjoying this, even ironically. “Perfect” is a decent closer. Bit too long but not bad. You're out of luck Exo, I made it easily to the end.

You get ZERO, my man.
http://plethorapress.typepad.com/pho...ized/i_win.gif

Aux-In's Alien 3 avatar, and now this, why are there so many Alien references now that I'm balls deep in the movies and Alien: Isolation. Synchronicity is a bitch.

Yeah, I sign up.

I'm not even sure Simple Plan was aimed at you.
You listening to some pop stuff just isn't torture, it's pretty much the norm.

Yeah that's what I thought, though it was post number two, so there really wasn't anyone else it could have been intended for. Exo?

But... Anarchy.

Edit: seriously, someone give me a record to hate.

I would, but I've already done my rec. BTW, were you the one whose album I did in my Avant Garde thread? It's hard to remember who's who after a certain amount of time when people constantly change their avatars. I ask because it would give me an idea of what you listen to.

Could you explain what you mean by this? We're waiting for one person to do all of their recs before anyone else does?

No, you can rec another person. You just can't rec the person you already recced until they have done that rec. Lotsa recs in there huh? So if you rec me, then say Grindy, you can't rec either of us again until we've done our albums, BUT you could rec Frown.
Thought it was simple. Everyone gets one go. So I get recced an album, I do it, you get recced yours, you do it, and so on until we get back around to me again. Otherwise I could do seven albums and make you all wait, which is silly.

So, as per the list, each person does their recced album and then has to wait to do another until their turn comes up again. I've seemingly had about three or four recs but having done one, I have to wait to do the second till everyone else does theirs, and then will have to wait to do the third till everyone does theirs, and so on. On that basis, Frown, you go next.

Look, I don't really care. Anarchise it if you want. I'm not here to place restrictions or stop the flow; I just don't want everyone getting confused and messed up.

Also, it might be helpful if those reccing say who they're reccing for, or if indeed they have a preference.

Then...

DeadChannel: Britney Spears - Baby One More Time
Trollheart: Diamanda Galas - Plague Mass

Now send me your terrible ****.

I could hit you with a Genesis album, but I want to give you some hope so this is for you Batty:
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped...s_of_Steel.jpg

He already likes Rush.

.

Challenge accepted.


I raise you Eliane Radigue: Last Trilogies De Last Mort, Batlord.

Hey Batlord! This isn't that bad. Sick my dick.

Then you should go listen to an actual good Britney album.

Ten minutes left, buttlard.

He likes 2112, but this may be too proggy for him... I wanted to give him a chance. I'm an old softie...
Prove it. Tell us something about your listening experience.

New non-rule: anyone can listen to their challenges whenever the **** they want. However if you accept a challenge you are required to give it a shot within seven days maximum. If not, you will get the dreaded Yellow Alert! This will be issued three days after your challenge, assuming you have not got up off your arse and done something about it. After six days you will get a second Yellow Alert. If you do not respond by then, on day seven your challenger gets a standard 50% for you not bothering. There will be no more Yellow Alerts issued, but if you don't then listen to your album within the next week (so fourteen days from date of challenge) your challenger gets the full 100% as you are deemed to have pussied out.
http://x22report.com/wp-content/uplo...llow-alert.jpg
You are allowed to advance excuses for not doing the thing --- I'm busy at college/ I have to go to a funeral (that lasts seven days :rolleyes:)/ I'm going for a sex-change operation to turn me into a man/ **** off or I'll tear your head off and spit down your neck, etc ---but these excuses will only save you twice in total. Man up and do the thing or forever be consigned to Pussyland. No, Batty, it does not mean what you think it means!

Some recs for those I've neglected then:
Frownland, enjoy.
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped...New_Jersey.jpg

and Grindy, try this as you hate singer-songwriters
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped...ther_Lands.jpg

Bwah-ha-ha! You're doomed! DOOMED!
http://33.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l3...073co1_400.gif

Deadchannel, I don't know your tastes, but nobody could like this...
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped...htheRhythm.jpg

I'd like to sign up. Hit me with your best shots.

I'll add you. Give us an idea of what sets your teeth on edge musically.

Modern pop radio hits usually rub me the wrong way. I prefer raw Lo-Fi goodness, even though I think Hi-NRG has given me more tolerance for super overproduced poppy stuff.

Also, I'm not a fan of Springsteen.

^ Challenge accepted. I don't know who Kenny G is, but I think I can take anything he can throw at me. :yeah:

So Trollheart, do I have to wait before posting my review, or can I put it up as soon as I finish?

You don't know who Kenny G is? I thought everyone did. I don't know if that makes this better or worse. You don't get to appreciate what you'd otherwise know is about to happen to you, but you'll also be completely unprepared for it.

And why is there a naked baby on that cover?