RiPS

At the "Raawrrr" part of the song I cringed so hard.

Psy-Fi

^ You beat me to it!

That review pretty much says almost everything I was going to say about this one. The album represents everything I despise about modern pop and club/dance music. I couldn't make it through more than 20 to 30 seconds of a single track from the album. Mind-numbingly annoying and awful.

1/10

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She's a Brick House

innerspaceboy

I try really hard to maintain a positive lens for the works I review. I like to think that art has merit to someone, somewhere, so it is not my place to condemn it or to pass judgment. I generally gravitate toward pieces which speak to me personally or which resonate with my value set so that I can highlight strengths of a given work and inspire others who might similarly enjoy it.

And then there’s this record.

I can appreciate Serrano’s The Piss Christ. I can appreciate that mall pop speaks to a particular demographic which is exploring and developing their personal and associative identities. I can acknowledge that value and beauty are in the eye of the beholder and respect that perspective among my fellow man as equals in a humanitarian scope.

And then there’s this record.

But I shall not lower or compromise myself to derisive scoffing at it as an inferior work. I may find its superficiality reprehensible, its production quality sonically offensive, the banality of its cookie-cutter lyricism tiresome and ubiquitous, and the general presentation indolent and ineffectual, but that is only the album as it relates to my own personal passions and pursuits.

I did, however, find value in this record as being quite exemplary of the culture described by Guy Debord in Society of the Spectacle which I’d finished reading just moments before cueing up this week’s listen. I believe my reactionary summary of the text serves as the most revealing insight into the impression this album had upon me. So I’ll leave it at that for your interpretation.

Not my bag, but maybe it’s yours. Or maybe it’s exquisitely demonstrative of the systemic erosion of our cultural competence in a late-capitalist nightmare world of banality and conspicuous consumption.

You decide.

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Trollheart

Shit, in other words.

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Trollheart

Might as well get this one over with. If I believe the general reaction to it here, I'm not going to be bothering Mister Matrix this week. And from the opener, I hate it. Jesus. ****ing autotune and crappy nineties house beats? Again, Jesus. Club music at its worst? Do you have to be on ecstasy to enjoy/endure this, or is it just good to dance to and not really listen to? Sounds like the Smash Monsters – remember them? No? **** you then. And **** this album. Goof, what possessed ya? You usually have such decent taste. This is beyond poor. The second track she doesn't even try to sing, just sings-like-a-robot- like-this. ****. The lyric is beyond poor. I know I said that already. I don't care; I don't feel like putting effort into this. If she won't put effort into her music why should I put effort into writing about it? Oh god save me, if only you existed, which sadly you don't so I'm ****ed.

We're only three tracks in. I'm never going to last fourteen! I agree with the pathetic “roar” - sounds like a kitten or something. ****'s sake. “She's phenomenal, like an animal”? Really? Oh look! From Wiki: she has been inactive in music and most likely retired from releasing music. Let's ****ing hope so! This is so juvenile, puerile, it's worse than the very worst amateur crap the X Factor can turn out, and that's saying something. I'm struggling to make it through the whole thing, but I don't want to insult anyone by not finishing their album. It's a sacrifice though, I'll tell you. Oh wait! This is the re-release I'm listening to on Spotify! The original only has TEN tracks. Let's do that then: four less Nadia Oh tracks is something to be thankful for. That means I'm about more than halfway through. Praise baby Jesus!

“No bueno” is just so ****ing annoying. This is literally like something a ten-year old would record at home – or maybe that's a little unfair. To ten-year-old girls. I'm sure they could put together something much better than this pile of - “You make me wanna jump out the window” - well, as someone else said, don't let me stop you. I might join you. Seriously: what's the ****ing point in that lyric? I hate you so much that I want to kill myself? If not, then what? Oh she's a bad bitch, apparently. Well I agree: very bad for releasing this turdfest upon the world. Oh man: “Jump out the window” just got, somehow, worse, with perhaps the most pathetic and emotionless rap – or attempt at one – that I have ever heard. How much more of this have I to stand? Three more tracks. It's not going to be exact, as there are tracks at the beginning of the re-release that aren't on the original and I've already inadvertently listened to them, but hell with it, I'm stopping at ten tracks either way. Can't make any difference anyway.

“Hocus pocus, you got me losing my focus”? How long did it take you to write that one, Nadia? Did you even write any of this? I don't know. If you did I wouldn't admit to it if I were you. How could they have found SIX singles to release from this? I couldn't even find one track I don't hate. What the blue jumping **** is “Shade” about? One more track and it's over thank Christ. Oh, let's be cool, huh, and spell “Supermodel” wrong. See? It's “Soopermodel”. Aren't I cool? No you ****ing aren't. **** off. Where's that death metal album? I need a drink and a shower.

For the first time EVER in the Album Club, this album gets my lowest rating: 0/10. Goofle, it's possible that you may never hold you head up here again.

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MicShazam

For someone who doesn't want to lover himself to talk down about this record, that's a pretty sick burn. Nastier than anything I wrote by far

Zhanteimi

.

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LetsTalkMusic

Goofle

Boring fucks.

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Frownland

Colours is the second album from renowned rock 'n' roll guitar goddess Nadia Oh. When I put on the album, I was confronted by a bizarre situation: this is not a rock album at all, this is a pop album?!?!?! Why would you ever make a pop album? Why don't you just make a good ole rock n roll or adult contemporary record like a real artist? Why would you release an album if you just up and accidentally sounded like this? Well despite these burning questions and disconcertions, I powered through the album.

Maybe it's because I've been exposed to more of this type of music or something, but y'all are a bit vitriolic on this one to a humorous extent. You're getting mad at Jim Carey for not wearing a suit and talking about stock strategy. You're getting mad at a comic strip artist for not drawing like Da Vinci. This album just happens and passes by without a second thought. I never thought to myself that it was **** apart from the comedically stupid throwing shade line. I did think that it wasn't very memorable and very rarely grabbed me.

There were a few catchy hooks that I wrote down as I listened to the album, and wouldn't you know that together they form a very touching poem? Maybe this was Nadia's message to us all along.

Amsterdam
Is That You
Taking Over the Dancefloor
So Unforgettable

A truly insightful analysis of Dutch EDM. Bumps the album up to a 4/10. I rated it "meh".

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Ol’ Qwerty Bastard

i'm gonna give this album a go out of curiosity. Goof man has never done wrong on mentioning a good pop album so i'm guessing you're all just tasteless pop haters or somethin'.

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