The Batlord Sh*ts on Member Albums
 

I'm drunk so come at me ya'll. I'll only review albums by people who rec them in this thread cause I know some of you are pansies with "feelings", so anyone with a sack or rugged Fallopian tubes should not be a bitch and let me mock your hard work.

Just remember the title of this thread. I will say nothing good about your music unless it is a setup for an even greater smack down and will find something to belittle regardless of how much I actually like the music, and I will also try to make my fake negative reviews seem as legit as my real ones. If you're not comfortable wondering if my hatchet job was simply taking the piss then piss off.

*I've already listened to enough Frownland music so he can **** right off unless I decide I want to **** on him of my own volition.

Finish your A Van Per Oven review.

Okay, Motley Crue- Shout at the Devil.

Nikki?

Member albums, you ****ing twit.

St.lunatics-free City


D12-Devils Night


both 5/5 classic albums if ya havent heard em :cool:

At 10:50am?

The bar's open all day at Burger King :D

Review the new SOPHIE album.

Ok Batty, **** on this:

https://soundcloud.com/micshazam/set...hed-early-2016

It's my personal favorite out of all my albums. Probably.


Or if that's too boring, try this one:

https://soundcloud.com/micshazam/set...ull-album-2013

*sigh*

Member. Albums. Keyword: member.

I got off work early and don't care.

I member this one album by a band called Dos Calfundos. Check it out.

Review cloudcover - Frownland

And in case anyone asks no it has nothing to do with the member Frownland

I think Frownland plays all of his albums with his member.

Okay I'm salivating for this review.

I've got one for ya:

:rofl:

I’m expecting like a 3/10 and many insults about how Schuyler and I were indie ***gots or something

:o:

MicShazam - Dream Inertia (2016)

I promise that isn't the ***giest album title I've ever heard. I'm joking of course because it clearly is. But I would say this sounds like New Order recorded the silliest Pokemon soundtrack ever made if you wouldn't consider that a compliment. I know you like making video game music but isn't that pretty unambitious? If you want to make music that's incapable of standing on its own then why not just make avant garde porn music? At least that would be funny and oddly creative. This just sounds like you're too scared to even ask an indie game developer to score a free-to-play Undertale ripoff soon to be released on GOG.

I'm about three songs into this, they're all far too long, and I skipped the second one halfway through. I'm pretty sure these are all going to sound alike so I'm ****ing off to make fun of something else cause only three of the nine tracks are under ten minutes. **** that.

Check out track 8. It's a bit different. Of course, it's my least favorite.

cloudcover - Chrisland [YorkeDaddy]

The corny electronic music is alright for disposable whatever but who the **** is that singer? You? Your friend Jeff from down the way who you met in high school cause he had a Cure t-shirt? He sounds like he really likes Depeche Mode and could capture second place in a karaoke competition but he has zero personality or emotional depth. Were you too nice to tell him that it's just not working out and you need someone with "talent" cause you didn't want to contribute to his self-harm? This album wouldn't be so awful without him but he really calls attention to the bald amateurishness of this release and makes the music sound even more uninspired. I guess it was a good attempt to cover his lack of charisma by using the occasional vocoder effect but holy **** was it misguided. Maybe this is supposed to be tongue-in-cheek but there's a very fine line between that and ****ing retarded. Guess which side you drunkenly stumbled over.

Parts of this album also reminds me of Radiohead at their most indistinct and that vocalist proves himself to be even less suited to the task, making it sound like some terrible side project of a 90s Midwest emo band that proved once and for all that the people involved in the movement were good for nothing but being boring teenagers with nothing to say about anything besides how much high school made them sad.

Hey if theres one thing that album is not its “amateur”. The production quality on that **** is pretty superb given we were 18, recording it by ourselves, and on a budget of like $200

You can make fun of mine then.

Son Of Abbot - Stuck Between the Parallels of Man & Monster

He's probably talking about your songwriting or maybe your givens aren't good enough.

Would you call the songwriting on it “amateur” or just “not the genre you like”?

Amateur styling in a genre that rewards forced amateurity.

Maybe. I dont know what the album sounds like. I think i skipped through a track when you dropped it.

I appreciate the inclusivity

Can I send you single tracks

Huh, I figured you wouldve given it a listen at some point

I mean it is specifically dedicated to you after all

I haven't seen the movie, either.

Monstrosity - Chaos [Plankton]

That four-minute intro seemed to say that you guys (I believe it was two of you) didn't have faith in your noodling to carry a track by itself so ya'll threw in some disposable instrumentation to save the track from complete uselessness. Should have cut about three-and-a-half minutes if that was the case.

So the album proper: you got some halfway badass riffs tbh but nothing that truly grabs the balls or has energy so maybe you should stick with noodling. Seems to be more your speed, otherwise you're a dad rocking thrasher to be sure. The dad rock thrash vocalist sends this home at least 500%. Is this even bland thrash or just prog metal with a thrash edge cause hey ya'll were listening to that a few years before when the genre was still relevant so it must still be relevant but we're 36 and don't even know anymore lol |m|>_<|m|!!!

Lol "terrorist ****s and extremist pigs" nice lyrics, Sargon of Thrashkkad.

BTW please make the singer stop or send him to 90s Flotsam and Jetsam.

https://media2.giphy.com/media/byrjZgFhTYQHm/giphy.gif

I notice BjorkDaddy isn't defending the vocals.

Knock yourself out.

That's the best write up that album has ever received. I'll be printing copies to hand out to my friends. Well, if you take into consideration that I personally connect to strangers I randomly meet on the street as friends.

It's not really possible to, you either like his voice or you don't

And for what it's worth I sing lead on "Diluted" and some say it's better than his vocals though I don't agree

Best write up = only write up

Translation: yeah I know the vocals are **** but I feel bad about admitting it cause he's a good guy.

They're not the best I've ever heard but it doesn't detract from my enjoyment of the songs we wrote. A lot of people have heard it in the ~5 years since we released it and I'd say there's a 70/30 split of people that like his vocals versus people that don't at all

Well you make friends with people who like a person who writes ****ty music so yeah they probably like ****ty music too.